Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:13     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Easy enough. Stop paying for his phone.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:12     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:Sorry to burst your bubble but he wasn't getting into any school he wanted with a GPA of 3.75. Sit down with him and tell him he gets a job, joins the military, or you sit down together and have him apply to a community college.


Just stop.

There is nothing wrong with a 3.75 gpa. His mother is right to be proud of that.

For some reason he is not moving onto adulthood that is a different issue. While yes I think she should tell him job, military or out.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:12     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
When did he finish high school? This year or last? Give him 2 months to move out.
I don't think I'll have this problem because my kids won't want to be around me once they are 18. Oh, and no space either in 1-bedroom.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:11     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.


Your kids must really hate you. Because you sound like someone who was a huge helicopter parrot and thinks they know what's best for their child.


New poster- I don’t think telling your child if they’re graduated high school, refused to apply to college or get a job and say their plan is to live at home and contribute nothing... that they need to come up with a plan B or move out- is helicoptering. To be honest if OP had helicoptered a little more the last few years though she might have some idea as to why her bright, successful high schooler didn’t want to apply to college. Anxiety? Depression? Desire for trade school but afraid of parental or peer ridicule for that choice? What gives? Normal 18 year olds don’t want to sit in moms basement all day they want to be out there starting their lives. Wake up and figure out what happened, OP, before he loses any momentum he previously had.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:10     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
I would probably alert him that as of xxx date, he will need to start paying xxxx for housing and food if he is not enrolled in some type of classes. I would also require he contribute to the house chores in whatever way makes sense for your family. Yard work/dinner 2 nights a week/laundry/whatever. I might also require contributions towards his phone and car insurance.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:10     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.


Your kids must really hate you. Because you sound like someone who was a huge helicopter parrot and thinks they know what's best for their child.

Honey, listen, if your son is so smart he could have gone to Yale or Harvard, there is no reason he can’t get a job. Target hires handicapped individuals to fetch carts from the parking lot. What’s your son’s excuse?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:10     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.


Well, you may have this area in your life covered, but I am sure there are other areas in your life that are lacking and could use improvement. Reflect on those areas and if you would want a stranger to be so aggressive and unnecessarily cruel with you.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:09     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.


Your kids must really hate you. Because you sound like someone who was a huge helicopter parrot and thinks they know what's best for their child.


NP but you're not using this term correctly. Telling your kid to stand on their own two feet is pretty much the opposite of helcoptering.

The PPs saying "don't kick him out, build him a schedule, support him in applying places" - that's helicoptering. OP's kid is used to someone else doing all the heavy lifting in his life and he's just taken that stance to its logical conclusion. No effort on his part; expects dinner to magically appear for him in his rent-free living arrangement.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:07     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:God help his future spouse, if he gets one.

He won’t, he’ll be too busy in mom’s basement!
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:05     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.


Your kids must really hate you. Because you sound like someone who was a huge helicopter parrot and thinks they know what's best for their child.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:05     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
God help his future spouse, if he gets one.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:05     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:My 19-year-old son refuses to look for a job and he doesn’t want to go to college. Should I continue supporting him or make him leave the house?

He had a 3.75 GPA out of high school, and yet he refused to apply to any university. If he wanted to, he probably could have gotten into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, UVA or any school that he wanted to.

Instead he sits around all day, playing video games, talking on Snapchat and just being lazy. He refuses to work and is generally starting to get on all of our nerves (Covid-19 made it worse with the quartining).

so where do we go from here? What is the end game and should we just cut all ties and kick him out or be mindful and continue to support him?

[/quote

is your son a socialist? Just sounds like something a socialist or someone who is a n e e t and probably favors UBI does
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:05     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
You need to work on a calendar with him. Schedule out the next year. Then stick to the schedule.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:04     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.

Maybe I am a jackass, that doesn’t hurt my feelings. I sleep well knowing I don’t have a grown man at my house playing video games while I go to work to pay for his lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2020 14:03     Subject: I can't keep subsidizing DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Kick him out! You’re making it far too easy for him to rely on your “subsidizing”. Does he even pay rent? Who cares about Yale pipe dreams, he’s a loser, I’m sorry. I’m a woman who started paying $20 in rent a week the July I turned 18. This grown ass man can’t do that? You must be so proud of yourself, OP.


Dp. This is really harsh.


NP, I agree. Way to kick the op down when she's already at her wit's end, jackass.