Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men have affairs in order to STAY in their sexless marriage (because.... kids, house, finances, whatever).

And, why do women have affairs?

To find somebody to fix their f'd up life.

Of course their f'd up life follows them so the next relationship is just as much of a mess.

Yep. Often they are looking for a new meal ticket.

Mine stayed with the AP after I kicked him out, but didn't "leave for" the AP. She was just there when he lost the house, the respect of our teenagers, and his job (she was a subordinate) due to the affair. After you give up all of that, I guess you probably feel some loyalty to the person.

Anonymous wrote:Why go to the trouble? Especially if you have kids? People who are up for an affair generally aren’t looking for love.

+1

Nowadays a lot look for sex on Internet apps. Do you think married men on Ashley Madison are looking for love? Nope. They are looking for easy, strange p@ssy.

Statistically 95% of AP are dumped as soon as the affair is found out so 5% stay together.

5% of that 5% marry, so .25% that is .0025 stay together.

There are 60 million people, let say 20 million cheat and get divorced, so that is 50,000 relationships from affairs. Of those 50,000 60% divorce so 20,000 stay together.

Why do men not keep the AP, usually?

Because men cheat with the type of person they would not marry. There are girls you date for fun and girls you marry. Some women would just be a nightmare to live with, bring around your kids, etc. But they are fun to f and they often are ego strokers, which is all he is really looking for.

In general, AP's are not top of the food chain. There is the <2.5 out of 1000 that might be.

why do some stay with the AP, lack of other options, they got kicked out and they want to feel like it was not for no good reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men have affairs in order to STAY in their sexless marriage (because.... kids, house, finances, whatever).

And, why do women have affairs?

To find somebody to fix their f'd up life.

Of course their f'd up life follows them so the next relationship is just as much of a mess.

I left my wife for my affair partner. But then again that was my goal the whole time. I've always believed you don't leave one relationship until you've got another one lined up, and that's how it's been ever since I was 16 years old.

Oftentimes entering w relationships with a house, maybe step kids, bills,— was not the point of the affair. For lots of people it’s escapism.

Mine did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men have affairs in order to STAY in their sexless marriage (because.... kids, house, finances, whatever).

And, why do women have affairs?

Because they are bored of their same-old husband, and then along comes some exciting new guy who tells her what she wants to hear.

They leave if they have money and financially secure and independent. As PP said it depends on your social status.

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious about this, read this thread a lot. Seems like there are decent number of husbands who have affairs, sometimes even years in length. But they rarely leave the wife, the couple either reconciles or the wife files for divorce. In my actual life, I only know of three instances when a husband divorced and married the affair partner.

It might be your social class. We know a lot of couples where the DH left and established family 2.0 with the other woman.

1. Money. All the men I know over 40 obsess over retirement and their 401k. Divorce means they’ll have to pay child support, possibly alimony, and give up half their retirement.

2. Decreased standard of living. Better to stay in the house and have sex on the side than live in a crappy apartment.

3. Wife is the maid and handle all the house and kid stuff. Divorce means dad would have to step it up and actually take care of his kids, and the thought of a weekend alone with them is overwhelming

Basically, men who have affairs usually have major entitlement issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men have affairs in order to STAY in their sexless marriage (because.... kids, house, finances, whatever).

And, why do women have affairs?

Not sure I agree with it, but the common knowledge is that women affair to leave. Less likely to have a sex only affair, less likely to have tons of one night stands, but if they are unhappy with their marriage, they're more likely to find a suitable husband replacement and leave once that is lined up.

Marriage to your spouse might suck, but staying with your spouse is a security blanket. It’s safe.

Anonymous wrote:Most men have affairs in order to STAY in their sexless marriage (because.... kids, house, finances, whatever).

And, why do women have affairs?