Anonymous wrote:About 13. I remember sitting in the front pew (where my family always sits) and just listening to the priest (Episcopalian) say stuff I didn’t agree with. I was like, why does he know more than anyone else? It didn’t help that my mother made me continue to go to church every week while I lived with them, and I totally didn’t fit in. Went through an atheist phase but am really agnostic because I am spiritual and open to other people’s beliefs and religions but don’t believe one is better than another. I’m raising my kids UU.

Atheists can be open to others beliefs -- they just don't share them.

Hard to imagine an atheist saying that they are "spiritual", though.

agnostic = don't know. atheist = don't believe. Atheists will say both fit -- they don't know and they don't believe.

About 13. I remember sitting in the front pew (where my family always sits) and just listening to the priest (Episcopalian) say stuff I didn’t agree with. I was like, why does he know more than anyone else? It didn’t help that my mother made me continue to go to church every week while I lived with them, and I totally didn’t fit in. Went through an atheist phase but am really agnostic because I am spiritual and open to other people’s beliefs and religions but don’t believe one is better than another. I’m raising my kids UU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny enough, I had spent years studying theology and decided to delve deeper into more general and traditional philosophies in order to place my beliefs more firmly in the context of a wider scaffolding. My intention was to strengthen my faith. Eventually I had an aha moment in relation to faith and why so many religions prioritize it over knowledge. It was unexpected, and kind of rocked my world. I didn’t go looking for it, but there it was. I called myself agnostic for a while but eventually stopped kidding myself and acknowledged that I was an atheist.

Wait, tell us what your revelation was!

It’s obviously more complex than this, but for me it boiled down to faith is frequently used as a gaslighting or coercion tool. The importance of faith can’t be overstated in many religions, and why is that? It’s a patch that covers the weakest parts of religious doctrine, so the leaders and architects of that doctrine convince people that very bad things will happen to them if they mess with it. Why would a benevolent god give us brains that allow us to reason away points of faith, yet condemn us to hell if we do that?

So there’s that, plus the realization that most of the authors of the narratives that made it into the Bible and other religious texts had agendas. Dig into their angles and what they were trying to achieve, and it can be difficult to view them as divinely inspired.

Wow!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic and I questioned the notion of God from the time I was a child. I remember thinking that there either wasn’t a God, or if there was one, he wasn’t very powerful or very loving. Otherwise, he would do something about all the suffering in the world. I am a very practical, rational person. I tend to be skeptical and question things instead of believing something just because I’m told. I just never could wrap my head around the notion of a God.

Same here. It’s not that I believed and then lost that belief-it’s more like none of it ever made sense or resonated with me in the first place. I actively resisted it all in my tweens/teens and my mother shoved it all down my throat, which made it even worse.

Now I actually look at believers with curiosity and a bit of confusion and admiration. I used to think they were all just faking it but now I don’t. They are just fundamentally different from me.

My brother says he goes to mass and all the things he felt stressed about feel a little lighter afterwards. That sounds wonderful and I believe him. I’ve just never ever had an experience even remotely close to that.

This really resonated with me. I always assumed everyone was faking it too! Literally not until I met my husband’s family did I realize people were sincere with their religion! My mom took me to church on Sunday because she thought it was the right thing to do. By the time i was in high school she dropped all the pretense.

Raised Catholic; very religious/devout believer. Loved that feeling of utter faith.

Bernard Law, Archbishop of Boston diocese associated with Spotlight documentary & abuse scandals, presided at my confirmation. He told a story to us (ostensibly to welcome us to the church as adults) about how a 12 year old girl from NJ had been raped by her father & decided to have the baby. No context given, just laudatory story. I had a real jolt of realizing that the church leaders were very political & manipulative. Sadly, I never regained my belief. Ironic, I know. I don't have animosity towards believers although I do think that belief systems are used to control & to discriminate against people. Mostly I am just jealous, because I remember what a beautiful feeling I used to have, and I miss the faith community, which I no longer feel at all a part of. It was a pretty big loss for a teenager, which took me decades to process.

Anonymous wrote:Realized that religious people are hypocrites. The higher up the religion ladder, the more hypocritical they were. Also I do not like the exclusionary aspect of religions aka ‘my way is the way of enlightenment.’

Yes, exactly how I feel.

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

This is where science comes in with facts that are more wonderful than religious fictions. As Carl Sagan said, we are all made of star stuff. The fact that we are composed of tiny molecules that will continue to exist and remake themselves into millions of things is a type of immortality.

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

No religion doesn't mean no afterlife.

We were all dead before we were born.

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

It is what it is? Live your life to the fullest.

for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

When I was told that if a 13 year old victim of rape gets pregnant and she were to die if she gives birth then her death is preferable to abortion.

That's when I realized they were making it up as they went along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

I came from a religious family and it never made sense.

I made the mistake of sharing my views/raising questions and my parents reacted with disgust towards me. I was 11.

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Catholic and I questioned the notion of God from the time I was a child. I remember thinking that there either wasn’t a God, or if there was one, he wasn’t very powerful or very loving. Otherwise, he would do something about all the suffering in the world. I am a very practical, rational person. I tend to be skeptical and question things instead of believing something just because I’m told. I just never could wrap my head around the notion of a God.

Same here. It’s not that I believed and then lost that belief-it’s more like none of it ever made sense or resonated with me in the first place. I actively resisted it all in my tweens/teens and my mother shoved it all down my throat, which made it even worse.

Now I actually look at believers with curiosity and a bit of confusion and admiration. I used to think they were all just faking it but now I don’t. They are just fundamentally different from me.

My brother says he goes to mass and all the things he felt stressed about feel a little lighter afterwards. That sounds wonderful and I believe him. I’ve just never ever had an experience even remotely close to that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

NP, but this is me, too. I was raised Catholic, went to church every Sunday, plus Sunday school. Baptized and went through First Eucharist. I was skeptical from the start and made trouble in Sunday School by asking a lot of questions. When I was 9 or 10, they apparently asked my parents to stop sending me because I was "disruptive" (to be fair, I probably was being a brat about it, but that is partly because I was frustrated with the lack of explanation).

I chose to stop going to church a few years after that, at 13/14. I decided since I was in high school, they couldn't make me, and they saw that I was committed to it and didn't push too hard. But then my mom did make me start taking confirmation classes (our church did Confirmation in 11th grade). I went to maybe five classes, but then told her it wasn't for me and she didn't force the issue.

All of this happened around the time that the Catholic priest scandals were coming out, so I think even though my mom was unhappy with my choices, she was also unhappy with the church and had a hard time defending it to me. My dad ignored the scandals but I think was mostly just mad that I was being insubordinate.

I realized that religion is completely manmade.

I mean really when you think about it, what on earth makes Islam, Christianity, Judaism (etc) more plausible than Greek gods and mythology, or ancient Egyptian? Or why is monotheism any more plausible than polytheism?

The stories, the concepts of an afterlife, and so on are not any more believable (and in many cases, obviously borrowed and built upon).

People create and tell stories to have a sense of order. To structure what they feel is chaotic in the universe. Which is fine... but it's just a story in the absence of (or before) scientific understanding. Or to give comfort. But it's all completely manmade.