Anonymous wrote:It is their life, not yours. Sure, help them with a spreadsheet, and then let go. They either meet the deadlines or they end up at Community College...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is their life, not yours. Sure, help them with a spreadsheet, and then let go. They either meet the deadlines or they end up at Community College...

Community College is not part of our family's plans. We will do what's necessary to maximize my family members' outcome and CC does not fit that bill. You can choose not to.

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but just help them guys. Most of the common app is just stuff an executive assistant would put in for their boss. Serve as the executive assistant. Type in your address and where you went to college and all that crap stuff that’s in the common app. Let them do the substantive pieces of their writing, asking for recommendations, choosing the colleges. The rest is really just filling out forms. If you buckle down this weekend you could get his his or her main one for early admission submitted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm right there with you, OP. My DS is a procrasinator, and the more I push for something (and I really try not to push) the more he resists.

I did do what PPs have mentioned and after a tension filled afternoon of starting the common app a few weeks ago, I ended up entering a lot of the tedious stuff on the common app myself. And got him started on his requests to teachers for recommendations, and did the transript requests and wrote his essay (although in his school, they spend time in English working on it).

I'm happy to report that we actually got one submitted last night! It was for a 10/15 early action deadline. And yes, I know I'm not supposed to say "we" submitted it, but it was certainly a "we" effort.

Oh goodness I just re-read this and it looks like *I* did the teacher recommendation requests and transcript requests. No, DS did those.

Anonymous wrote:It is their life, not yours. Sure, help them with a spreadsheet, and then let go. They either meet the deadlines or they end up at Community College...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm right there with you, OP. My DS is a procrasinator, and the more I push for something (and I really try not to push) the more he resists.

I did do what PPs have mentioned and after a tension filled afternoon of starting the common app a few weeks ago, I ended up entering a lot of the tedious stuff on the common app myself. And got him started on his requests to teachers for recommendations, and did the transript requests and wrote his essay (although in his school, they spend time in English working on it).

I'm happy to report that we actually got one submitted last night! It was for a 10/15 early action deadline. And yes, I know I'm not supposed to say "we" submitted it, but it was certainly a "we" effort.

Oh goodness I just re-read this and it looks like *I* did the teacher recommendation requests and transcript requests. No, DS did those.

Anonymous wrote:I'm right there with you, OP. My DS is a procrasinator, and the more I push for something (and I really try not to push) the more he resists.

I did do what PPs have mentioned and after a tension filled afternoon of starting the common app a few weeks ago, I ended up entering a lot of the tedious stuff on the common app myself. And got him started on his requests to teachers for recommendations, and did the transript requests and wrote his essay (although in his school, they spend time in English working on it).

I'm happy to report that we actually got one submitted last night! It was for a 10/15 early action deadline. And yes, I know I'm not supposed to say "we" submitted it, but it was certainly a "we" effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, my kid is on top of it.

The problem I'm having is trying to manage her expectations.

E.g. she is applying for an Ivy. While her stats are good -- 4.53 GPA with about a dozen APs when she graduates and a 1420 SAT, they're not IVY caliber. She has one smallish hook -- won a competitive scholarship to study language abroad (and has six years of the language). But, I don't think she'll get admitted, although 1420 is 98th percentile this year (scores are down across the board).

Then there is the matter of cost. We are a donut hole family so won't get need-based aid and while we have in-state tuition saved, there's a gap to go private or out-of-state. And I'm not sure borrowing for an ivy is worth it versus, say, UVA or William and Mary or going to a place with guaranteed aid for her stats like Miami University in Ohio. All of these are perfectly good -- even excellent -- schools for undergrads, even if they're not ivies. I don't want her to incur debt.

If you cannot pay for an Ivy League school, why is your DD applying to one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

I have heard that boys especially are often out to lunch for this whole process. (Though, I am sure there are exceptions in both genders).

To reduce the fighting, I once heard limit your college discussions to a set time per week. At that meeting (like, say Sunday nights), the kid can present what they have done, what their plans are for the week, show you reminders/alarms on their phone, etc.

I think the more kids lives approach our own,as they must become responsible for meeting the deadlines, it is a stressful handover. Still, they have to learn how to manage this stuff.

Perhaps discuss this "meeting" plan with your DC and they will rise to the occasion. Maybe even say, "I have faith that you can manage this process, since you are almost an adult and will soon be in charge of your own life." (Even if you have NO such faith at all yet).

?

We did this and it worked well. It helped me rein in my anxiety and not let it bubble out in day-to-day conversations, but imposed some order on the process.

Plus, after each Sunday afternoon meeting, a glass of wine was timely.

We've been doing this too. I will say that meeting ended up turning into a working meeting when he didn't do what was agreed to for the week. e.g. you were supposed to send your resume to the teacher who is writing a LOR, enter your recommenders into Naviance, update the list of schools you are applying to. Oh, didn't do it? Then we are doing it right now. Definitely helped to get the process going. And lately I've seen DS actually taking time to work on the supplements without me nagging and ask me to review them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, my kid is on top of it.

The problem I'm having is trying to manage her expectations.

E.g. she is applying for an Ivy. While her stats are good -- 4.53 GPA with about a dozen APs when she graduates and a 1420 SAT, they're not IVY caliber. She has one smallish hook -- won a competitive scholarship to study language abroad (and has six years of the language). But, I don't think she'll get admitted, although 1420 is 98th percentile this year (scores are down across the board).

Then there is the matter of cost. We are a donut hole family so won't get need-based aid and while we have in-state tuition saved, there's a gap to go private or out-of-state. And I'm not sure borrowing for an ivy is worth it versus, say, UVA or William and Mary or going to a place with guaranteed aid for her stats like Miami University in Ohio. All of these are perfectly good -- even excellent -- schools for undergrads, even if they're not ivies. I don't want her to incur debt.

If you cannot pay for an Ivy League school, why is your DD applying to one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

I have heard that boys especially are often out to lunch for this whole process. (Though, I am sure there are exceptions in both genders).

To reduce the fighting, I once heard limit your college discussions to a set time per week. At that meeting (like, say Sunday nights), the kid can present what they have done, what their plans are for the week, show you reminders/alarms on their phone, etc.

I think the more kids lives approach our own,as they must become responsible for meeting the deadlines, it is a stressful handover. Still, they have to learn how to manage this stuff.

Perhaps discuss this "meeting" plan with your DC and they will rise to the occasion. Maybe even say, "I have faith that you can manage this process, since you are almost an adult and will soon be in charge of your own life." (Even if you have NO such faith at all yet).

?

We did this and it worked well. It helped me rein in my anxiety and not let it bubble out in day-to-day conversations, but imposed some order on the process.

Plus, after each Sunday afternoon meeting, a glass of wine was timely.

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully, my kid is on top of it.

The problem I'm having is trying to manage her expectations.

E.g. she is applying for an Ivy. While her stats are good -- 4.53 GPA with about a dozen APs when she graduates and a 1420 SAT, they're not IVY caliber. She has one smallish hook -- won a competitive scholarship to study language abroad (and has six years of the language). But, I don't think she'll get admitted, although 1420 is 98th percentile this year (scores are down across the board).

Then there is the matter of cost. We are a donut hole family so won't get need-based aid and while we have in-state tuition saved, there's a gap to go private or out-of-state. And I'm not sure borrowing for an ivy is worth it versus, say, UVA or William and Mary or going to a place with guaranteed aid for her stats like Miami University in Ohio. All of these are perfectly good -- even excellent -- schools for undergrads, even if they're not ivies. I don't want her to incur debt.

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

I have heard that boys especially are often out to lunch for this whole process. (Though, I am sure there are exceptions in both genders).

To reduce the fighting, I once heard limit your college discussions to a set time per week. At that meeting (like, say Sunday nights), the kid can present what they have done, what their plans are for the week, show you reminders/alarms on their phone, etc.

I think the more kids lives approach our own,as they must become responsible for meeting the deadlines, it is a stressful handover. Still, they have to learn how to manage this stuff.

Perhaps discuss this "meeting" plan with your DC and they will rise to the occasion. Maybe even say, "I have faith that you can manage this process, since you are almost an adult and will soon be in charge of your own life." (Even if you have NO such faith at all yet).

?