If you choose to stick this out, give him the official Hall Pass so he can stop sneaking around while you remain platonic room mates.

And make sure your dh does not know you are talking with an attorney at all. So no discussions with the kids, friends and family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DEFINITELY consult a lawyer.

Seriously. Pay a 2 - 300 for a consult so you can know for sure where you stand. In general, the longer the marriage, the more likely things like temporary alimony become. Though, I can’t imagine there would be a big difference between 17 and 20 years. Ten years is the threshold where all this stuff can actually become a possibility.

Don’t waste 3 years of your life to save $300.

Well, it was $500 when I did it, a decade ago! It's probably way more now. Just FYI.

I'm a legal secretary. Corporate partners charge about $730 an hour. Litigation partners charge up to $850 an hour.

Yes, but you can get a reputable family lawyer for less than that. Mine was $400/hour.

I'm a PP who shared my alimony details. I'm in MD. All three lawyers/mediators I've talked to charge $300-350 per hr.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DEFINITELY consult a lawyer.

Seriously. Pay a 2 - 300 for a consult so you can know for sure where you stand. In general, the longer the marriage, the more likely things like temporary alimony become. Though, I can’t imagine there would be a big difference between 17 and 20 years. Ten years is the threshold where all this stuff can actually become a possibility.

Don’t waste 3 years of your life to save $300.

Well, it was $500 when I did it, a decade ago! It's probably way more now. Just FYI.

I'm a legal secretary. Corporate partners charge about $730 an hour. Litigation partners charge up to $850 an hour.

Anonymous wrote:You should also head over to the Kids with Special Needs forum. There are a few steps to take before your child turns 18 that can be critical if you don't think he or she will be able to be independent.

NP, but like what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DEFINITELY consult a lawyer.

Seriously. Pay a 2 - 300 for a consult so you can know for sure where you stand. In general, the longer the marriage, the more likely things like temporary alimony become. Though, I can’t imagine there would be a big difference between 17 and 20 years. Ten years is the threshold where all this stuff can actually become a possibility.

Don’t waste 3 years of your life to save $300.

Well, it was $500 when I did it, a decade ago! It's probably way more now. Just FYI.

Anonymous wrote:Get a consultation with at least one attorney but I'll tell you that in MD my divorce attorney said long term spousal support even at 15 years was tricky, could go either way. Almost a definite you'd get it at 20 years. That was her opinion.

I was in DC, and it was 10 years.

I have extenuating circumstances and indefinite alimony so I'm a one-in-a-million case. But my general advice is to stay in a marriage if you're not sure. Divorce is terrible for women and children.

But at the same time, divorce is traumatic. It takes a few years for most normal people to heal and begin to start over. If you're ready to divorce, and you've done all the therapy and you know it's inevitable, then I think you should do it now. Every day you stay in an unhappy marriage is another day you postpone your own future -

I write these words as someone who didn't want to get divorced and who stuck out terrible things for 15+ years. I deeply regret staying, and I am now so happy in my new life

Good luck, OP, and please talk to an attorney, even if you need to secretly borrow the $500 or so to talk to them. I know a lot about spousal support obviously, but each case is different.

Get a consultation with at least one attorney but I'll tell you that in MD my divorce attorney said long term spousal support even at 15 years was tricky, could go either way. Almost a definite you'd get it at 20 years. That was her opinion.

No. No benefit. Sooner, the better.

It’s 10-years, not 20.

Yours is already considered a long-term marriage.

Anonymous wrote:DEFINITELY consult a lawyer.

Seriously. Pay a 2 - 300 for a consult so you can know for sure where you stand. In general, the longer the marriage, the more likely things like temporary alimony become. Though, I can’t imagine there would be a big difference between 17 and 20 years. Ten years is the threshold where all this stuff can actually become a possibility.

Don’t waste 3 years of your life to save $300.