I am currently pregnant and terrified of exactly this and more. Maybe one day in the future there will be extracorporeal uteri where the tiny humans can mature until they are ready to “hatch” and we would take them out and continue taking care of them. Maybe the women of the future won’t have to sacrifice literally all of themselves for humanity to continue. Maybe one day reproducing would be a kinder, ungendered business.

Until then, since we can’t afford a surrogate mom, I have no choice than doing it this way, to perpetuate humanity to the future that I dream about.

Awww I’m sorry OP. 2-4 months PP was the worst time for me too. You want to get back in your regular clothes so badly but it just isn’t working. And you don’t have the cute pregnant shape anymore, you’re just sort of ... vaguely heavier than you were pre-pregnancy. And lumpy. And blah. But I’ve had 2 kids and eventually went back to my usual weight both times. Give yourself 9-12 months. It’ll happen. And until then, shapewear will help you fit in your pants again. Huge hugs!

It took me until my baby was sleeping through the night before I could really focus on myself again (9.5 months, BTW). I had 30 lbs to lose and i did it sloooowwwwly. I had a handful of stretchmarks immediately after giving birth (I never noticed them when I was pregnant) and they all faded away by the time baby was about a year. Some people snap back immediately (UGH!) but there are plenty of us who don't. Little things that helped me feel in control, as dumb as they sound: making my bed every morning, doing my hair and at least under eye concealer, and finding a few items of clothing that fit me. Two months is nothing! You're really in the thick of it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm coming on 2 months pp, and my body is just gross. I knew I would get bad stretched marks (it runs in my family and no amount of lotions/oils stopped those bad boys) and expected skin to sag, but I can't even look in the mirror somedays, I look gross.


Yes, I have heard the rants of you brought life into this world, some women are never able to have children, it's a blessing, etc., yes I get that. None of these change the way I feel. Just wanted to see if other women are experiencing this as well and how to mentally deal with this.

I never understood this perspective. I wanted to get back to my old shape ASAP for ME because I'm still a person. And even if no one else cares about me anymore outside of being someone else's mom, I care about looking my best.

I hate the people who try to skinny shame women who want to lose their baby weight ASAP. They're doing it to feel better about themselves you heinous b#tches.

Anonymous wrote:We need to stop with the “breastfeeding makes the fat melt off” narrative. That’s only true about half the time and for the other half it quite literally keeps the fat packed on as it is necessary for milk stores.

100% this. I breastfed for 2 years and kept on gaining weight and there was zero difference once I stopped.

I didn't gain much weight while pregnant but a lot after having the baby. I focused so much on the newborn that I totally neglected myself. I don't like looking back at pictures from that time. I started feeling better when I shifted my focus back on myself. Somethings won't be back to original but when I took the time to get my skincare routine back, getting my hair & eyebrows done regularly, working out, investing in a few clothes that fit my new body, finding time for myself, and some date time with the husband - it all combined definitely had a big impact on my postpartum self-esteem.

We need to stop with the “breastfeeding makes the fat melt off” narrative. That’s only true about half the time and for the other half it quite literally keeps the fat packed on as it is necessary for milk stores.

Honestly, make time each day for yourself. A 30-60 minute walk, run, yoga class, or bike ride will do wonders. I NEEDED exercise post partum to manage the stress, manage my emotions, feel strong, and feel better about myself physically. It allowed me to be a better parent and spouse.

I dont think your uterus even goes back to regular size until 12ish weeks post partum

Anonymous wrote:I’m a few weeks postpartum and I get so sad when I catch a glimpse of my tummy in the mirror before I get in the shower. Also didn’t realize my butt would turn flat and squishy too. My husband is so sweet and tries to make me feel better but I agree, I just feel gross!

Chances are good that your movement patterns in late pregnancy did not work your posterior chain much. Also, if you're breastfeeding, the baby is literally consuming the fat out of your butt (it is where the body tends to store extra fat in pregnancy that is mobilized for this purpose).

Stretched skin may or may not come back, but the rest of this will change with time.

Anonymous wrote:I found this in recent topics, and I suspect this won’t be a popular answer, but I dealt with it by getting a tummy tuck. Wait until you’re done having kids. Wear spanx in the meantime. Yes, exercise, but that won’t firm up your loose skin.

I disagree with PPs. Waiting a year will help with the weight loss and stuff, but the stretch marks are likely there to stay. You might feel less gross overtime (less tired, stronger, better rested, etc), but these people who claim that after 8 months, their skin just magically tightened up and everything went back to normal have just forgotten what they looked like beforehand.

Some people's bodies do permanently and visibly change, but some of us really did get back to bikini-ready shape within a year or so and look pretty close to the way we did before. It's really just genetics though.

At 2 only months out, OP needs to wait and see.

OP, 2 months is nothing! At 2 months I still looked somewhat pregnant. You were pregnant for 40 weeks. Give it some time and let yourself grieve the old you in every way. Including your old pre-kid body.

For me, it took about 5-6 months the first time for my body to look "normal" (even though the baby weight was off at 3 months, the tummy remained longer). It took closer to a year the second time. Baby #2 is almost 2 years old and I can honestly say my body looks close to the way it used to. Obviously it will never look exactly the way it did pre kids, but my tummy is fairly flat again and the skin has mostly tightened back up in a way where I feel pretty good about myself again. I did not have stretch marks so nothing to share there.