My brother and I have each borrowed money from each other, and both given money (with no expectation of it being given back) to each other. We've never put timelines on when anything needed to be paid back. Yes, we've paid each other back.

Thanks for this post. I will remind my young adult kids not to lend money.

My brother lent us money for the down payment on our first home. We paid it back with interest within 2 years. I am eternally grateful to him because we would have been priced out had we waited to save on our own.

My ILs are bad with money and have spent a life time borrowing money from friends and family members and I do not think they have ever completely paid anyone back.

That said I borrowed around $3000 from my parents while I was in grad school and I did pay it back.

My advice as someone who has both borrowed and loaned money to family members is don’t give them more than you can afford. And think of it as a gift that if you get it back it’ll be a nice surprise.

If you want it back ask for a timeline and set up the expectation. I borrowed $ from my parents and 3 siblings during a divorce and when I tried to repay only the wealthiest one wanted to be repaid and was angry that I approached the others first about repayment, we are talking about a matter of days here.

My husband has and he never got it back. Only do it if you are giving it as a gift because people take advantage and will say "borrow" when they mean "gimme"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shout out to my sister who paid me 15 bucks a week for 67 weeks to pay back a 1000 dollar car repair loan I gave her 8 years ago. She literally came over to my house every Friday (payday) and handed me a crisp 5 and 10. She knew the money wasn’t anything much to me either but she repaid it because that’s her character.

+1 my kinda girl

+2 She sounds awesome!

Yikes OP. I can see why you have a problem. Your title should be "When you give a family member money." Your perspective is wrong. When you "loan" a family member you need to regard it as a gift.

My parents loaned each of us $50k at 0% interest to pay for school. DH and I paid it back at $1k/mo over four years. I don't know about my siblings. Knowing them, I would assume that my sister did and my brother did not.

Anonymous wrote:Shout out to my sister who paid me 15 bucks a week for 67 weeks to pay back a 1000 dollar car repair loan I gave her 8 years ago. She literally came over to my house every Friday (payday) and handed me a crisp 5 and 10. She knew the money wasn’t anything much to me either but she repaid it because that’s her character.

+1 my kinda girl

I loaned my brother money out of my emergency stash. He had to pay his mortgage within 24 hours or lose his family home to foreclosure. This was after a long period of unemployment. I told him I was happy to loan him the money, but expected it to be repaid once he was on solid ground. That was more than 10 years ago and I never again saw the money.

Give it if you want. But don't call it a borrow and don't expect it back.

I borrowed money from a relative for grad school tuition and paid it back on time within 5 years of graduating. That felt great to make the final payment. DH and I loaned my brother money for a mortgage because they were having a hard time getting a traditional mortgage. Two years later they were able to finally get one and paid us back in full.

Shout out to my sister who paid me 15 bucks a week for 67 weeks to pay back a 1000 dollar car repair loan I gave her 8 years ago. She literally came over to my house every Friday (payday) and handed me a crisp 5 and 10. She knew the money wasn’t anything much to me either but she repaid it because that’s her character.

Never got it back. As soon as I was asked for the money I knew I wouldn’t get it back, and viewed it as a gift rather than worry about it.