Anonymous wrote:My AP was not looking. I was the aggressor. He was basically content in his marriage. I thought he was flirty with me, which is what gave me the confidence to flirt harder, but given how long he held out (over a year) before it turned physical, I don't think he was really looking for it. But he never discouraged it. That was 7 years ago and we're still going strong.

Did he leave his wife to be with you?

My AP was not looking. I was the aggressor. He was basically content in his marriage. I thought he was flirty with me, which is what gave me the confidence to flirt harder, but given how long he held out (over a year) before it turned physical, I don't think he was really looking for it. But he never discouraged it. That was 7 years ago and we're still going strong.

If you spend a lot of traveling for business and you attend a lot of conferences or trade shows it’s inevitable that the opportunity will arise. Dinners and hotel bars have a way of loosening people up and if someone is lonely and looking for “love” they will make it very clear. I’ve had plenty of opportunities and when I see them rising I find a way to change the subject or make a polite exit.

yes, a colleague at work. We were pretty close and occasionally had drinks, we would also get together with spouses/significant others. But there were a few occasions where I knew he was totally open to much more if I wanted it and indicated that in a couple ways. Only once, when we were on travel together and had a few drinks, did it start to feel too close for me to dismiss it casually and after that I kept a certain amount of distance.

I also had married men pursue me when I was single but that's different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

NP, so they/she “rubbed” her “tits” on you in broad daylight in a daycare classroom in the middle of busy pickup? Come on.

Right?! The PP is delusional -- this scenario is laughable.

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

That’s ridiculous! I do pre-school drop off and pick up and I always chat with the women as they are very friendly. But these moms are definitely not dressed for adult “pick ups”.

Anonymous wrote:OP, as I'm approaching my 40s something that seemed totally crazy and unimaginable actually seems more like a constant threat and possibility that you need to actively avoid:

some opportunities that my husband and I have faced where attractions could have grown if we weren't careful

work travel. HUGE ONE. my husband works in a big travel field, and I'm convinced half of his coworkers cheat during travel.

work, happy hours and dinner. Feelings and attraction grow.

fellow parents --- you end up spending SO MUCH time with the parents of your kids friends when they are little, feelings and attractions grow.

These for sure. Couple them with a marriage that is not going well and there you have it. I've seen this go down many times, unfortunately.

A bunch of times. The first was within a few months of getting married and on a Sunday I had flown to LA and then sat at the hotel bar to get something to eat. The woman sitting next to me was quickly very flirty and in my head I was saying you’ve got to be kidding! Since then there have been at least a half dozen times the opportunity arose but I never had an interest other than it was nice to be hit on. I have a wonderful wife and we have a great sex life so I’d be an idiot to put that at risk.

OP, as I'm approaching my 40s something that seemed totally crazy and unimaginable actually seems more like a constant threat and possibility that you need to actively avoid:

some opportunities that my husband and I have faced where attractions could have grown if we weren't careful

work travel. HUGE ONE. my husband works in a big travel field, and I'm convinced half of his coworkers cheat during travel.

work, happy hours and dinner. Feelings and attraction grow.

fellow parents --- you end up spending SO MUCH time with the parents of your kids friends when they are little, feelings and attractions grow.

Can someone explain how it's possible to get affair offers at work without reciprocating? Seems very unlikely

For people who aren't looking at all or at least giving off vibes that they are looking, seems hard to bumble into an offer for an affair

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has the opportunity. It’s called “Ashley Madison”. Take your pick of the lowlife, immoral whores on there.

When they got hacked it was shown to be mostly men on there..

Some of the messages men got were fake I think

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

LOL, definitely not. I'm just shocked at the outward in your face approach that these women were taking. Didn't realize this was so common!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

NP, so they/she “rubbed” her “tits” on you in broad daylight in a daycare classroom in the middle of busy pickup? Come on.

are you talking about hugging?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?

NP, so they/she “rubbed” her “tits” on you in broad daylight in a daycare classroom in the middle of busy pickup? Come on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in day care, I had numerous affair opportunities because I did the after-work pickup and I would talk to the moms who were picking up their kids. Often I’d be with the mom for some time if her kid and mine had a play date. These moms came on to me, I didn’t come on to them.

Really? Are you sure these moms came on to you or were they just being friendly? I just find it hard to believe that you've had multiple moms at the daycare come on to you. 'm a very friendly person and I can see why someone who isn't used to interacting with this type of personality, would misinterpret my genuine interest in talking and joking around with someone of the opposite sex as being flirtatious.

Yes, I am sure they came on to me. For example, do you rub your tits on guys you are “just being friendly” with?