Anonymous
Post 10/19/2020 15:51     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
My family has had one fortunate outcome of the "T" phenomenon. In 2016 and every Thanksgiving previous, SIL had insisted on a strict "no politics" discussion because she and BIL and BIL's family were conservative. But the red hat cult has shocked them so deeply that they are now the biggest anti-T people we know. Holidays together are a hoot now because we're not tiptoeing around discussing current events anymore!
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2020 13:56     Subject: Re:Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
jsmith123 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Make a strict rule - no politics or the get together is over. You may have to walk out the first time to get your resolve across. But stick to your plan as things are not going to be over for months.

My sister and I had to make this deal and we abide by it.


Yes, this.

But do it in a caring way.

When I was in this spot with my father, I sat down with him and basically just said something like: "I hardly get to see you. I don't want the times we spend together to be spent like this."


I think this is good advice. My parents are okay but some of their siblings have political leanings that are diametrically opposed to ours. It is tough. Before we see them I have a mental list of "safe" topics and so I keep changing the subject. I also go to the bathroom a lot if I need to leave the room to cut off a conversation "oops, all that coffee this morning, I'll be right back!"


We've got 2 in my family. My sister and I (1) make bets about who will start it first; (2) get caught up on our People mag reading so that we can overtly redirect the conversation. We're not even subtle about it.




It's so politically toxic right now that my sister and I have said NO POLITICS at family get togethers...and we ALL VOTE THE SAME. There are so many different shades of politics right now and both parties have extremes. For many people unfortunately, it's really emotional.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2020 16:03     Subject: Re:Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:
jsmith123 wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Make a strict rule - no politics or the get together is over. You may have to walk out the first time to get your resolve across. But stick to your plan as things are not going to be over for months.

My sister and I had to make this deal and we abide by it.


Yes, this.

But do it in a caring way.

When I was in this spot with my father, I sat down with him and basically just said something like: "I hardly get to see you. I don't want the times we spend together to be spent like this."


I think this is good advice. My parents are okay but some of their siblings have political leanings that are diametrically opposed to ours. It is tough. Before we see them I have a mental list of "safe" topics and so I keep changing the subject. I also go to the bathroom a lot if I need to leave the room to cut off a conversation "oops, all that coffee this morning, I'll be right back!"


We've got 2 in my family. My sister and I (1) make bets about who will start it first; (2) get caught up on our People mag reading so that we can overtly redirect the conversation. We're not even subtle about it.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2020 15:01     Subject: Re:Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
My Mom is like this. We've stopped talking. We text. She still sends me articles or asks me loaded questions to try and bait me.

I've tried all of the suggestions on this thread. None of them worked. I hope they work for you!
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2020 19:32     Subject: Re:Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:I don’t maintain relationships with racists, but my kids are Black and it’s my job to protect them.

It’s everyone’s job to protect them. I’m sorry so many of us are failing. OP should speak up when she hears racism or sexism come from her family. White people have an absolute duty to do this.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2020 19:12     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:Election years are always difficult. Do not engage. Change the subject. Decrease interactions if they cant talk about anything besides politics.


This is how I handle this. My father and FIL are both like this. FIL will move to the different subject. Father will just stop talking and avoid us.

Do NOT try to debate these people.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2020 15:45     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
I refuse to talk about politics when I visit my family. It’s not why I’m there and will say that if asked directly for my opinion. If they want to discuss it with each other in front of me, I enjoy my food and drink, or help mom with clear the dishes, etc., all with a pleasant look on my face. They have gotten the message and rarely do it any more.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2020 11:08     Subject: Re:Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
I don’t maintain relationships with racists, but my kids are Black and it’s my job to protect them.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2020 10:58     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:Hang up the phone on him.


This is what I had to do with my mom. I would say, "If you keep talking politics I'm hanging up." Then I did it. That's what it took for her to finally get it.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2020 13:36     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
This is my brother. Both my kids birthdays ended with him getting my dad in a tizzy about politics. Again my brother is a Trump supporter. He is the a hole in chief so all of his followers are running with that. It sucks. First time I gave him the benefit of the doubt, second time, that’s it. Not sure the next time I’ll have him over.

Also alcohol has a lot to do with this. Once he’s had a drink, just ignore whatever he says. “Uh huh, yeah...”
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2020 21:45     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
I basically just nod. I don't care to argue.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2020 21:28     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:"...once my father married my now stepmother 15 years ago"

Why is this relevant? You lost credibility with me just by immediately blaming and pointing fingers at SM.

Doesn't your father have a brain of his own? Is he so easily swayed that your SM is completely responsible for his political mindset? Is she forcing him to sit in front of the TV, with toothpicks in his eyes?

Aside from his own personal views, maybe there are others in your father's life who have had just as much influence on his opinions - coworkers, friends, neighbors.

This isn't just about politics. I think you are just looking for a good excuse to cut your father (and his horrid wife) out of your life.


No, I get it. She was the source. I know people this happened to. No one turns into this kind of monster without help, but it probably allowed him to flesh out some latent racism, or whatever without guilt.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2020 21:26     Subject: Dealing with parents who are vocal about different political views
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Two things, tell her if she wants women's bodies regulated by the government she should be out in the streets protesting that men at age 12 should get vasectomies, they can be reversed right? Second thing, tell her to start saving because her health insurance is about to triple at min.


I am a life long dem but the ACA that Obama crafted screwed us all. Prices have skyrocketed because of it. Ask your employer, check your premium increases.

Do you UNDERSTAND why? Really?