I think I understand, OP. You used to be able to recharge by having time alone at home. I love time alone at home - it is such bliss. My DH works from home, and my son does distance learning, so it is now super rare. However...my DH is also an introvert and we are very comfortable leaving each other alone so I don’t feel like you do. But if I wasn’t able to go full introvert in my husband’s company it would be terrible.

How about a space of your own that replicates that feeling of being home alone? A room of one’s own, a wise woman once said? A she-shed in the yard?

Anonymous wrote:

I think the real issue here is her dh is a lazy smelly slob who isn't cleaning up after himself.

Yeah, I kinda feel like this might be OP's real issue, and the introversion is just a more "elevated" justification for her feelings.

No the real issue is she is mental and should seek help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he needs a dedicated work space.
Dedicated work hours where he is in the work area to give the illusion that he is not just in common areas asking for others to be quiet
Respect if she needs a few hours with him not next to her and leave her be.

This is crazy. She’s not there 90% of the day he is working. If someone told me not to work somewhere in my own house with no one else there (example: my bed) I would laugh in their face.

When you put it like that...

Anonymous wrote:I think he needs a dedicated work space.
Dedicated work hours where he is in the work area to give the illusion that he is not just in common areas asking for others to be quiet
Respect if she needs a few hours with him not next to her and leave her be.

This is crazy. She’s not there 90% of the day he is working. If someone told me not to work somewhere in my own house with no one else there (example: my bed) I would laugh in their face.

I think this is about needs not being met and if therapy didn't make him see that his wife is an introvert who needs time to herself to reenergize i don't see how anything we say will change a thing.
He doesn't want to get it. Maybe she is asking too much but i don't think wanting an hour or 2 a week is too much to be honest with you.

I think he needs a dedicated work space.
Dedicated work hours where he is in the work area to give the illusion that he is not just in common areas asking for others to be quiet
Respect if she needs a few hours with him not next to her and leave her be.

I think the real issue here is her dh is a lazy smelly slob who isn't cleaning up after himself.

Yeah, I kinda feel like this might be OP's real issue, and the introversion is just a more "elevated" justification for her feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the real issue here is her dh is a lazy smelly slob who isn't cleaning up after himself.

I mean. I am a woman and I work from home sometimes unshowered (I brush my teeth though) in a tshirt and shorts unless I have a Zoom call. Who cares what someone looks like or is doing when they work from gimme in their own house and OP ISN’T EVEN THERE? If my DH tried to say anything to me about that I’d tell him to STFU.

Really. Dude is home working all day and then wants to hang out at night. If it were the opposite -- gone all day and then ignored her when he got home -- everyone would be telling her she should divorce him.

Who is attracted to someone laying around like that all day? I like dh clean and not nasty

Anonymous wrote:I think the real issue here is her dh is a lazy smelly slob who isn't cleaning up after himself.

I mean. I am a woman and I work from home sometimes unshowered (I brush my teeth though) in a tshirt and shorts unless I have a Zoom call. Who cares what someone looks like or is doing when they work from gimme in their own house and OP ISN’T EVEN THERE? If my DH tried to say anything to me about that I’d tell him to STFU.

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine the savagery on here if this had been a DH posting this?

Lol.

I don’t get why you can’t take the same time off work that you would usually take and go do something for yourself. Go to Target, go to a coffee shop, go for a walk, get your nails done. This thing about him always being at home (yeah, it IS his home too) is petty.

Kids are in school, DH is doing pickup and working from home earning money, and you get to go to your office every day to escape?! Sounds like you have a pretty darn good deal there. Others would kill to be in your situation.

If therapy didn't help him understand, nothing will.
Have him work in the basement and stay out of the way until after work.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you have never read a book in bed while he watched tv or you watched bravo on one tv while he watched something on a different tv. I mean, never?? If you are wanting to be alone every night after the kids go to bed then that is a problem. But once a week or so should be fine. Or just let him pout. It’s not your job to manage his feelings. How frequently were you taking days off and leaving early before?

This. A day a week or so us fine to do your own thing at night. Let him pout.

Your dh sucks for not trying to understand

I think the real issue here is her dh is a lazy smelly slob who isn't cleaning up after himself.