I"m actually more amazed at all the women that let their minds go when they have children -- stop paying attention to the news, stopping learning new things, spend too much time gossipping and don't talk about anything except baby poop. I wish there was less judgement of people's bodies and more acknowledgement of all the other unhealthy and sad ways we change when we have children -- that are also preventable.

Anonymous wrote:Why is the relative talking about other family members—good or bad? Just change the subject.

Hmm. I am guessing others are bringing up the weight in a negative way and the relative is trying to cut that crap off.

So you title is a question, but you asnwered it yourself?

Why is the relative talking about other family members—good or bad? Just change the subject.

Well, clearly it is an excuse. Just having kids does not mean you will be overweight years into the future, as we have many examples of women who are not. But all of us tell ourselves some kind of stories — why we’re not more successful, happier, thinner, richer, etc. Of course it’s just a story, but we all do it in some way. It’s much more satisfying to actually feel in control of your life. But you can’t and shouldn’t tell them that.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking a question that you can answer? Also, who cares? They're fat, and they're making excuses because women like you are dying to be jerks about it.

This! OP is a bitch, no more, no less.

I don’t know OP. I think we all have very different metabolisms and I wouldn’t be comfortable saying « it was doable for me so... ».. I am 110/5´5 with 2 young kids and I def paid a lot of attention to weight gain during pregnancy, and had a goal to exercise and progressively lose all the pregnancy weight in the year for sûre.

But I have always been blessed with a reasonable metabolism. And I saw what happened when I was sleep deprived. My second child didn’t sleep well until he has 8-9 months old. I weighed less when he was 2 months old than when he was 9. I was not eating more, but the lack of sleep prevented more from mois any weight and made me gain some more..

Anyway: you never know, give other people grace and space

I’ve had 6. I’ve lost the weight and I feel my workouts are better now so I’m in better shape. But pregnancies changed my body...hips and ribs and stretched out skin so my body isn’t the same even with losing weight.

Anonymous wrote:Who needs a sub-19 BMI???

Old women without real accomplishments.

Who needs a sub-19 BMI???

Anonymous wrote:Do you know what the word matronly means, OP?

In what context?

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the same poster who is shocked, SHOCKED, that the overweight women she judges aren’t tripping over themselves for her diet advice??

Actually, I’m not the same poster. I don’t expect that people ask me about how to lose weight, nor do I tell people how to lose weight. I think everyone knows what to do.

Why do you care so much about others people’s body? Get a life!

You all go to you know where with your healthy habits! I have healthy habits and rarely ate process food growing up and I still don't, I outran most boys, no health problems at all and I still wasn't as skinny or in shape as my skinnier friends. First time we all got bananas, I got diarrhea and blew up like a balloon. My friend were fine. I don't eat more than they do, I do walk more steps a day, but I'm still the bigger friend.

OP is being bitchy but I do think that often what happens is that women diet/exercise to a weight that is not really sustainable for them, especially around the time they are getting married. Then they have kids, plus they get a few years older, and never return to their pre-baby weight. The issue is not that they are carrying "baby weight" from a child who was born many years ago, nor is it that they are particularly overweight (maybe 10 pounds or so but I don't consider that overweight personally). It's that they are now at what is a normal and sustainable weight for them, eating a normal amount (not dieting aggressively because they can't sustain that and also do everything they need to do) and not exercising obsessively because they don't have the time. I think often women also don't have the same drive to get down to that previous weight because they are no longer dating or trying to look good in wedding photos.

Basically, I think a lot of women in their 20s and 30s engage in disordered eating and over-exercising, and then have to return to something more normal after kids because Who. Has. The. Time. (or energy).

We should stop expecting women at any age to all be size 2s. It is not realistic and thinness is not the definition of beauty.

Sending love to all my gorgeous, normal sized, mamas out there.