Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 10:06     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He apparently thought I was ignoring him today when he asked me something - I vaguely remember him asking me something, but I was in the middle of work calls and had a very busy day. Then we were driving around doing errands and he asked if I was alright. I told him I felt panicked (it was a very hectic day). He started yelling and cursing at me. We haven't spoken since. Should I even apologize to smooth things over? I feel like he owes me an apology. I didn't intentionally ignore him.


There is a third option where you can initiate a discussion with him to find out what was going on. Perhaps during this discussion he will realize what he did was wrong and he will apologize. It's a lot better than both of you stewing on the issue and not talking to each other.


I’m not stewing. I’m honestly scared to approach him for fear of being cursed out again.


You said he's not normally like this and presumably an otherwise reasonable person so why do you assume he's going to be like this when you talk to him? Take some time in the evening and discuss it. This clearly wasn't his best moment and if he's a normal person he will probably realize it when you discuss it with him.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 10:02     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
DH here. Do not blindly apologize to him. You need to talk like grown mature people. Tell him "Joe, we need to discuss what happened in the car." If you find out you done him wrong, then apologize but not until then. Either way, yelling at spouse is not acceptable so he owes you one too. that much is given.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:59     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am the wife and have yelled at DH in the car. I’m a SAHM and he works and often ignores us. Not my proudest moments but I have yelled at him in the car out of frustration. It is usually after being frustrated for several days and I explode. He doesn’t even realize I am upset until I yell.



I’m curious about this. How would he know you were upset otherwise? Do you use your words, or just immediately go to yelling?
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:58     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:This makes zero sense. He freaked out for no reason? You were running errands together but then you say you were alone?


In the middle of errands, after I parked, he left in an Uber. At which point I was alone, and continued to do errands. Sorry I wasn’t more clear in my OP. I was kind of shook up, and TBH, still very much am.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:52     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:I feel like there's more to the situation, OP.

I'm not saying that you're not telling the truth, but we need a little more detail and context, because without knowing the "what" he was trying to talk to you about, and how serious it was, it's very hard to determine what happens next.

I understand that you were inundated with work & panicked (been there, done that!) however, were you being present for him and did he feel that you were minimizing whatever he was trying to convey to you?

Let me make myself clear... there's absolutely ZERO excuse for the cursing and yelling, but it would be nice to know what he was so frustrated about?


No, I was not being present for him. I was working. I work full-time.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:52     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:I apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong sometimes.
9.99999 times out of 10 it prompts my spouse to immediately apologize also.
Back to speaking back to loving caring sharing smiling etc.
Being right is nowhere near as satisfying as being happy.


I'm curious about this. If you are always the apologize initiator, over time, don't you start to feel some hurt/resentment?
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:51     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:I am the wife and have yelled at DH in the car. I’m a SAHM and he works and often ignores us. Not my proudest moments but I have yelled at him in the car out of frustration. It is usually after being frustrated for several days and I explode. He doesn’t even realize I am upset until I yell.


My bad for working to pay the bills. It must be nice to have food and shelter and everything else you have without having to worry about deadlines or outside pressure or getting laid off. I would love that option.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:49     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He apparently thought I was ignoring him today when he asked me something - I vaguely remember him asking me something, but I was in the middle of work calls and had a very busy day. Then we were driving around doing errands and he asked if I was alright. I told him I felt panicked (it was a very hectic day). He started yelling and cursing at me. We haven't spoken since. Should I even apologize to smooth things over? I feel like he owes me an apology. I didn't intentionally ignore him.


There is a third option where you can initiate a discussion with him to find out what was going on. Perhaps during this discussion he will realize what he did was wrong and he will apologize. It's a lot better than both of you stewing on the issue and not talking to each other.


I’m not stewing. I’m honestly scared to approach him for fear of being cursed out again.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:49     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He was wrong.

Is this an isolated incident or does he act like this alot?


Not a lot, no. I wouldn't necessarily say it's an isolated incident, but I didn't even see it coming. One minute, I thought things were fine, except for the fact that I felt stressed over an incredibly busy day, the next thing I know he started yelling and cursing. I did make the mistake of texting him to tell him I picked up groceries - I picked up a few things he had mentioned we were running low on as a truce. His text response sounded sarcastic, but I didn't react or reply.


Things don't usually happen that way. Are you sure you are not missing something else?


No, I’m not sure. But how am I supposed to figure it out with him cursing and yelling at me while I’m driving. I should mention we were on 295 in rush hour. At some point, some idiot that was driving like a bat out of hell cut me off at the same time he was yelling at me. I almost rammed into him.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:40     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:I am the wife and have yelled at DH in the car. I’m a SAHM and he works and often ignores us. Not my proudest moments but I have yelled at him in the car out of frustration. It is usually after being frustrated for several days and I explode. He doesn’t even realize I am upset until I yell.


poor guy, bad wife
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:40     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He was wrong.

Is this an isolated incident or does he act like this alot?


Not a lot, no. I wouldn't necessarily say it's an isolated incident, but I didn't even see it coming. One minute, I thought things were fine, except for the fact that I felt stressed over an incredibly busy day, the next thing I know he started yelling and cursing. I did make the mistake of texting him to tell him I picked up groceries - I picked up a few things he had mentioned we were running low on as a truce. His text response sounded sarcastic, but I didn't react or reply.


Things don't usually happen that way. Are you sure you are not missing something else?
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:39     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
I am the wife and have yelled at DH in the car. I’m a SAHM and he works and often ignores us. Not my proudest moments but I have yelled at him in the car out of frustration. It is usually after being frustrated for several days and I explode. He doesn’t even realize I am upset until I yell.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 09:37     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
Anonymous wrote:He apparently thought I was ignoring him today when he asked me something - I vaguely remember him asking me something, but I was in the middle of work calls and had a very busy day. Then we were driving around doing errands and he asked if I was alright. I told him I felt panicked (it was a very hectic day). He started yelling and cursing at me. We haven't spoken since. Should I even apologize to smooth things over? I feel like he owes me an apology. I didn't intentionally ignore him.


There is a third option where you can initiate a discussion with him to find out what was going on. Perhaps during this discussion he will realize what he did was wrong and he will apologize. It's a lot better than both of you stewing on the issue and not talking to each other.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 07:32     Subject: Re:DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
This makes zero sense. He freaked out for no reason? You were running errands together but then you say you were alone?
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 06:05     Subject: DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving
I apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong sometimes.
9.99999 times out of 10 it prompts my spouse to immediately apologize also.
Back to speaking back to loving caring sharing smiling etc.
Being right is nowhere near as satisfying as being happy.