My niece went away to college 13 miles from home and lived there. Best of both worlds

I work in higher ed enrollment and this statement is so DMV. The vast majority of students stay within 100 miles from home because of cost and comfort. Just going away is a big deal. Most Kids didn’t go to sleep away camp or travel so it’s very foreign and uncomfortable for families to not be within a days round trip drive.

My DS went to Mason and lived on campus because he wanted a campus experience but has a chronic disease that is sometimes difficult to control. We had hoped he would be able to go further afield for college, but his senior year was rough, healthwise, and when it was time to make the decision that April, we all agreed that having him close to home and his medical team would be best.

This was a hard decision -- not because there is anything wrong with Mason but because it was really disappointing to DS that his condition had to dictate something so big in his life. I think before this he held onto some hope that somehow his condition would just go away and his life could go back to "normal." It was when he really faced the fact that his entire life would be affected by his condition. And of course watching him come to grips with this truth was heartbreaking for DH and me.

Because this was a painful experience for our family, it's not something we talked about much. I'm sure there are people we know who think it is crazy that DS lived at Mason, when he could easily have lived at home for much less money; or who were shocked that a good student like DS did not end up at a higher ranked school.

You don't know why people make the decisions that they do, but when you aren't privy to the details it's nice to extend the benefit of the doubt and assume there's a good reason.

My DH went to a local college and had to live at home. He now realizes how much he missed out on, not really joining in to the residential community. He insists that even if our kids decide on a school close to home they will live on campus.

I'd be happy for them to explore farther afield (as long as it fits our very) but my senior decided on his own that he wants to be a max 4-5 hr drive. So, everywhere he's applying fits that. Fortunately, plenty of options in this area within a reasonable drive.

FWIW, in college I was 3 hrs from home and my sister was 8 hrs away. We both came home the same amount. After school she ended up living near my parents while I followed a job across the country.

I went to college 30 min from home and lived in dorm. It just worked out that way. Best school for me happened to be 30 min. from my house. You still meet interesting people from all over the world. You are still in the college bubble. I would have gone to a school up to 7 hours away, but this was my first choice school.

I always wonder why people think about or care at all what strangers and other people decide to do


Just because you didnt get a chance to go far away doesnt mean everone else wants what you wanted.

I am assuming that you are an adult and can move far away from your parents?

At least they're living on campus. That still counts as away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are happy with who they are and where they're at. [b]That's the goal. You weren't OP so it was good for you to go away and explore.

I know a family who has a son at Georgetown who was living on campus (until the spring obviously). The mom even works in Georgetown, although not at the University. She never saw her son, even in happenstance, except one or two times in over 3 years. It is possible to live nearby and have it seem like a totally different world.

Whatever works!

Being limited to a 2 hour radius does not mean someone is “unhappy with who they are.”

Sure, but plenty of kids LIKE being close to family and home. I think the point is that these kids know that they don’t want to go super far away, they know that they’ll be happier staying close to family/home, and don’t feel the need to buy-in to the whole “go far away for college!!” phenomena. And that is 1000% OK.

Because she *gasp* wanted to stay close to home! She wanted to, for example, be able to come home on a Saturday afternoon in October and see her little sister off to her first homecoming. I don’t think there’s a thing in the world wrong with that. The on-campus residential experience still provided her with countless opportunities to expand her horizons and try new things; I disagree that you have to go across the country to do this.

Anonymous wrote:I love how you think merit aid at OOS schools is easy to get. Sure you can get it but a top OOS school is coming in at around 70k a year.

Again, not talking about “top” schools here.

Also, I’m curious whether your view of where children should live is the same for an 18 year old as for a 21 year old. If a college graduate gets a job in their hometown, do you think they should live at home to save money? Many people would say no for the same reason they would say no to a college freshman living at home: because they have the money and they value the independence and experience of living alone.

My parents said I could only apply to in state schools, even private in state, but no out of state. Received merit aid at an in state private.

Because the DC area is not an impoverished backwater that kids need to escape from. If a nearby school is a good fit, they don’t need to fly far away in order to get a great education. Maybe if you live in small town USA you choose a local school in order to save money, but in big metropolitan areas that’s not the only reason to choose a local school.

I love how you think merit aid at OOS schools is easy to get. Sure you can get it but a top OOS school is coming in at around 70k a year.

There are so many college opportunities near DC. Just within the metro area we have some of the best schools in the country (JHU, Georgetown), a top ranked public (UMD), and some great LAC options. If you open it up to three hours away which is a pretty normal distance from home for most kids in the rest of the country (even ones going to their state school), you have hundreds of options including two ivies. We happen to live in the heart of higher education. I think a lot of kids find schools they love nearby without even considering location.