Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a father of a child who was diagnosed with autism and flat-out doesn't believe the diagnosis. I did plenty of research. There is not any clear scientific grounding for "high functioning autism". Autism in general seems like a subjective diagnostic junk heap of various different issues (from severe language problems to very vague personality characteristics). The subjectivity of the diagnosis was demonstrated to me in how my child was diagnosed, by a 20 minute interview full of subjective judgements conducted by someone who didn't know him at all.

I spend a lot of time with my child and am one of the world's leading experts on their personality and issues. (The other is my wife). Autism brings with a whole bunch of vague and general stereotypes about personality and needs that in many cases just do not fit my child. In many cases these are not helpful and just distract from a close analysis of what your child really needs and how they are functioning. If my child needs help I will provide it or get it, but I'm not interested in enlisting them in the autism industry.

If your kid was diagnosed in 20 minutes, then you are right to be skeptical. Best practice involves detailed testing, parent interviews and questionnaires, teacher questionnaires, child and a structured assessment that takes a lot more than 20 minutes. This is what my kid got.

"High Functioning Autism" is not a diagnosis. It's a term that many parents and some doctors use, but there is no formal definition, so of course there is no scientific basis for it and I'd be surprised if any doctor told you there is.

My kid doesn't fit the autism stereotype either and no medical professional or teacher ever thought she did.

You have a bunch of your own stereotypes about what the "autism industry" actually is.

Anonymous wrote:I am a father of a child who was diagnosed with autism and flat-out doesn't believe the diagnosis. I did plenty of research. There is not any clear scientific grounding for "high functioning autism". Autism in general seems like a subjective diagnostic junk heap of various different issues (from severe language problems to very vague personality characteristics). The subjectivity of the diagnosis was demonstrated to me in how my child was diagnosed, by a 20 minute interview full of subjective judgements conducted by someone who didn't know him at all.

I spend a lot of time with my child and am one of the world's leading experts on their personality and issues. (The other is my wife). Autism brings with a whole bunch of vague and general stereotypes about personality and needs that in many cases just do not fit my child. In many cases these are not helpful and just distract from a close analysis of what your child really needs and how they are functioning. If my child needs help I will provide it or get it, but I'm not interested in enlisting them in the autism industry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

Anonymous wrote:Diagnoses aren’t labels. Your iep designation is a label b/c that’s how the schools decided on how to sort kids. You often can’t get help for your kid without a diagnosis and their needs change over time.

Understanding how your brain is wired is part of who you are. An autism diagnosis doesn’t define who a person is any more than having brown eyes or being tall or short does.

Anonymous wrote:I am a father of a child who was diagnosed with autism and flat-out doesn't believe the diagnosis. I did plenty of research. There is not any clear scientific grounding for "high functioning autism". Autism in general seems like a subjective diagnostic junk heap of various different issues (from severe language problems to very vague personality characteristics). The subjectivity of the diagnosis was demonstrated to me in how my child was diagnosed, by a 20 minute interview full of subjective judgements conducted by someone who didn't know him at all.

I spend a lot of time with my child and am one of the world's leading experts on their personality and issues. (The other is my wife). Autism brings with a whole bunch of vague and general stereotypes about personality and needs that in many cases just do not fit my child. In many cases these are not helpful and just distract from a close analysis of what your child really needs and how they are functioning. If my child needs help I will provide it or get it, but I'm not interested in enlisting them in the autism industry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let your kid be your kid.
There are plenty of high functioning folks with Autism who have never been diagnosed, treated or fussed over. And they are living and functioning fully in the world today.

Exactly. I don't want my kid to think, I have Downs/Autism /ADHD, that's the way I am.

I want him to think "I have strengths and weaknesses. These are my strengths. These are my weaknesses. How can I be a productive member of society with the brain I've got?"

There's a certain victim mentality that kicks in on Instagram etc. Feel bad for me/my kid they're autistic. You don't need a label or to accept a label. You need to get the help you need. And what your kid needs.

Anonymous wrote:Let your kid be your kid.
There are plenty of high functioning folks with Autism who have never been diagnosed, treated or fussed over. And they are living and functioning fully in the world today.

Anonymous wrote:Child is almost 12. High functioning. Services (mostly ST) covered b/c of early diagnosis. I think it’s accurate. Spouse won’t agree to testing for differential diagnosis in any case.

What would you do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.