Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to us when we first got married with no kids. We got cats to fill the void of a miscarriage. When I finally did have a child, my sister came to show support and bond with us. She spent minutes inside the house before feeling short of breathe and spending most of the rest of her trip in her cat-free room. She told us later she nearly left that first night and stayed in a hotel. She never visited again until we moved..and the cats did not come with us! Allergies are real.

What did you do with them?

Made them someone else's responsibility, as usual. That's how it usually goes.

NP here. When I was a kid, my next door neighbor had two indoor/outdoor cats. The neighbor moved out of town and they asked us if we would take the cats. There was absolutely no problem. It was different for the cats at first, but pretty soon they were in our house relaxing in front of the fireplace.

My sister has cats. That’s cool. It’s her thing. But I have terrible cat allergies. So I don’t go to her house. She knows why - she has seen me in full on misery. Even if I take meds ahead of time. It is what it is. (She lives about 75-90 min from me.)

Anonymous wrote:Our 3 kids really want a cat. DH and I both like cats so we're on board with the idea. Trying to determine if SIL who is allergic will be upset about whether she can visit comfortably or will have to stay in a hotel. She is a plane ride away, not local. Thanks

I wouldn’t be *upset* with you per se, but I certainly would never come to visit. I can’t last 5 minutes in a car house even with allergy meds on board. So the relationship would change drastically if I used to come visit a couple times a year.

Buy the best air filter for your guest room that you can afford. And even the, don’t get offended if they never visit.

Even if she is local, this is your family decision. If this was someone who comes daily to your house then yes, that would be a consideration for me, but someone who visits couple times a year, no.

If you want to be super considerate, get a hypoallergenic cat or dog, but ultimately, it’s your family unit’s decision.

No I don’t. But then the person who got the dog should also not be upset when I can come help with the kids or whatever and don’t visit as often as I might because I have to stay in a hotel.

I'm allergic but I'm not upset that other people have pets. I don't expect anyone in my extended family to make decisions about their own pet ownership because of me. But depending on how much you're willing to accommodate me I may or may not come visit because of it. For example, my SIL has 2 dogs but she has no problem deep cleaning before we come and keeping the dogs in the garage or their bedroom when we're there. My best friend also has several dogs but even though she knows I'm very allergic and paid lip service to it didn't even try to stop her dogs from jumping on me. She always asks me to visit more but I don't because I was so miserable and drugged up on Benadryl the whole time.

How many days out of the year is she even staying at your house? I can't imagine not getting a pet, which we would enjoy all year, because of someone who visits once a year, or even less. As long as you aren't offended that she stays in a hotel, it's fine.