Having done the male dominated business travel scene and been relentlessly hit on by married men who are all still married years later.....my take is that either very few affairs are discovered or if they are people work through it.

The infidelity rate is about the same as the divorce rate and not every divorce is from infidelity

Define come out?
MEaning the spouse never learns of it or it ends in divorce?

A spouse may know and just not let on the know or get a divorced or tell teir friends.


I am in my 30s I can think of 3 or 4 couples who have had affairs 2 are divorced and remaired, one has stayed togther.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think cheating is way more common than long term affairs. I know a lot of people who hooked up while on business trips, and it’s less likely to get discovered because it’s a one time thing.

This exactly. When people say only 20% of people have affairs, I believe it. But cheating, ONS, business and conference hookups? That happens in most marriages at some point.

This. I'll never forget being a naive little 20 something on her first business trip , being propositioned by her very married colleague. Put me off, but also taught me a very important lesson.

Op, yes. Unless you’re CIA level secret agent, affairs come out. Maybe it is t until way, way after the fact because so and so saw DH at XYZ on March 21, 2019.

DW’s remember every date that their DH had a “boys night” or worked late, etc.

...but you really hit the jackpot when AP2 steals your DH from AP2 and they take it upon themselves to have you resolve that little love triangle. Yea, that’s the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know 4 of my close friends cheated, one got caught, assume the other 3 didn't. All still married.

Agree its more of a 40s or 50s thing

You should consider finding friends who value stuff like their word, loyalty, etc.

The person is obviously a cheating sh@tbag too. You are the same as the company you keep.

Whores are friends with whores. They love to trade d@ck stories.

Anonymous wrote:

I know 4 of my close friends cheated, one got caught, assume the other 3 didn't. All still married.

Agree its more of a 40s or 50s thing

You should consider finding friends who value stuff like their word, loyalty, etc.

The person is obviously a cheating sh@tbag too. You are the same as the company you keep.

Anonymous wrote:I think cheating is way more common than long term affairs. I know a lot of people who hooked up while on business trips, and it’s less likely to get discovered because it’s a one time thing.

This exactly. When people say only 20% of people have affairs, I believe it. But cheating, ONS, business and conference hookups? That happens in most marriages at some point.

I think cheating is way more common than long term affairs. I know a lot of people who hooked up while on business trips, and it’s less likely to get discovered because it’s a one time thing.

We’ve been married 35 years and very few our friends over all those years have gotten divorced. Has there been cheating? Probably. Is every marriage happy? Unlikely. I have seen a lot of divorces among people 40-50 so I assume affairs were part of the problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

Honey you’re in your 30s. No affairs since college is nothing, truly. You are about to see some wild stuff go down in the next two decades.

this

I know 4 of my close friends cheated, one got caught, assume the other 3 didn't. All still married.

Agree its more of a 40s or 50s thing

You should consider finding friends who value stuff like their word, loyalty, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my thirties, so maybe I’m too young, but there have been no affairs in my social circle since college. I do know of some affairs, but it seems reading this forum, it’s super common. Do most affairs never come out then? Or is the spouse is tight lipped when they find out they’re partner cheated?

Honey you’re in your 30s. No affairs since college is nothing, truly. You are about to see some wild stuff go down in the next two decades.

Yes. I'm 55. Just wait.

My kids are in high school. The number of affairs and divorces of which I am aware were few when the kids were very young, then ramped up at warp speed for parents of kids in middle school. Now, about half of my kids’ friends are of broken marriages.

I’m waiting until her birthday to tell her husband. So pretty soon!

Anonymous wrote:I know 4 of my close friends cheated, one got caught, assume the other 3 didn't. All still married.

Agree its more of a 40s or 50s thing

You hang out with some losers