Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't enjoy being with your husband its not a good relationship to bring children into - speaking from experience.

Why are you inventing weird relationship scenarios for OP? Sounds like projection.

Agree. OP don’t listen to this. Timed sex gets tiresome for many people.

Yeah, IUI doesn’t damage the cervix. Not sure where you got that from since I don’t even think it’s a common myth but it’s not true. IVF is much more invasive although still low risk.

Since you’re 34 and have proven fertility, an IUI with clomid seems like a reasonable place to start. That said, if you want multiple additional children, IVF to attempt to bank embryos isn’t a bad idea either. An RE can look at your specific test results and give you good info.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have unexplained secondary infertility. I am 34. We usually had sex 4-5 times a month, and amping it up is taking a toll on us. Should we do IUI? I’m worried about the supposed damage to my cervix? This would be our second and last child.

OP here - many people are misunderstanding. Our usual is 4-5x a month. But I’ve been tracking my cycle and been doing it every day or every other day during the week of ovulation. It’s getting rote because it’s not spontaneous.

You do realize the normal is very low? Is your DH happy with that? Honestly work on whatever is holding you back in bed before you have another kid. I bet you'd get pregnant faster if you worked on that first.

Did OP ask for advice on her sex life? No. Quit the weird sex shaming.

OP, how are you tracking your cycle? If you are not using ovulation sticks/kit, try that. Just counting days or going by EWCM doesn't always work. If you are already using an ovulation kit, and you have timed the sex around it at least 3 or 4 months in a row, you may want to see a reproductive endocrinologist in case anything medical is going on.

How long did it take you to conceive your first kid?

Thanks to you and the other helpful posters. Yes, I’ve been using the Clearblue ovulation predictor system (which tells you high/peak/low days of fertility). We got pg on month 2 for #1. We’ve started the RE process and waiting for initial test results. I believe Clomid + IUI is usually the first step, but somebody was saying IUI damages the cervix and makes pregnancy difficult, which is why I was wondering if we should go straight to IVF...

I have never heard of IUI damaging the cervix, if that’s your only concern.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't enjoy being with your husband its not a good relationship to bring children into - speaking from experience.

Why are you inventing weird relationship scenarios for OP? Sounds like projection.

If you don't enjoy being with your husband its not a good relationship to bring children into - speaking from experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have unexplained secondary infertility. I am 34. We usually had sex 4-5 times a month, and amping it up is taking a toll on us. Should we do IUI? I’m worried about the supposed damage to my cervix? This would be our second and last child.

OP here - many people are misunderstanding. Our usual is 4-5x a month. But I’ve been tracking my cycle and been doing it every day or every other day during the week of ovulation. It’s getting rote because it’s not spontaneous.

You do realize the normal is very low? Is your DH happy with that? Honestly work on whatever is holding you back in bed before you have another kid. I bet you'd get pregnant faster if you worked on that first.

Did OP ask for advice on her sex life? No. Quit the weird sex shaming.

OP, how are you tracking your cycle? If you are not using ovulation sticks/kit, try that. Just counting days or going by EWCM doesn't always work. If you are already using an ovulation kit, and you have timed the sex around it at least 3 or 4 months in a row, you may want to see a reproductive endocrinologist in case anything medical is going on.

How long did it take you to conceive your first kid?

Thanks to you and the other helpful posters. Yes, I’ve been using the Clearblue ovulation predictor system (which tells you high/peak/low days of fertility). We got pg on month 2 for #1. We’ve started the RE process and waiting for initial test results. I believe Clomid + IUI is usually the first step, but somebody was saying IUI damages the cervix and makes pregnancy difficult, which is why I was wondering if we should go straight to IVF...

Same op. We have sex daily during the fertile period (using test strips) and its just so much work! Lol. It takes the spontaneity out of sex. We were used to having sex 2x a week, but it was really good.

I did a medicated IUI previously and it was about $1500 (that was with insurance covering testing). We’re trying to avoid that. Ugh

I really want my May baby and I’m hoping this month will be our month!

OP, I feel for you. We had a long period of waiting for our first one (2 years of trying naturally, then 2 years of advanced treatments). It is really hard to have sex (let alone fully enjoy it!) when consciously or subconsciously we are trying to get pregnant. But why do you think IUI would damage your cervix? (I’ve not heard such a story - I had three rounds before stepping up to IVF) If you have the possibility, it may be good to have the medical support as you are considering it - they would check and monitor different things and do IUI at a better timing than we might be able to do ourselves, and they can also prescribe medications that could help achieve/sustain the pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have unexplained secondary infertility. I am 34. We usually had sex 4-5 times a month, and amping it up is taking a toll on us. Should we do IUI? I’m worried about the supposed damage to my cervix? This would be our second and last child.

OP here - many people are misunderstanding. Our usual is 4-5x a month. But I’ve been tracking my cycle and been doing it every day or every other day during the week of ovulation. It’s getting rote because it’s not spontaneous.

You do realize the normal is very low? Is your DH happy with that? Honestly work on whatever is holding you back in bed before you have another kid. I bet you'd get pregnant faster if you worked on that first.

Did OP ask for advice on her sex life? No. Quit the weird sex shaming.

OP, how are you tracking your cycle? If you are not using ovulation sticks/kit, try that. Just counting days or going by EWCM doesn't always work. If you are already using an ovulation kit, and you have timed the sex around it at least 3 or 4 months in a row, you may want to see a reproductive endocrinologist in case anything medical is going on.

How long did it take you to conceive your first kid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have unexplained secondary infertility. I am 34. We usually had sex 4-5 times a month, and amping it up is taking a toll on us. Should we do IUI? I’m worried about the supposed damage to my cervix? This would be our second and last child.

OP here - many people are misunderstanding. Our usual is 4-5x a month. But I’ve been tracking my cycle and been doing it every day or every other day during the week of ovulation. It’s getting rote because it’s not spontaneous.

You do realize the normal is very low? Is your DH happy with that? Honestly work on whatever is holding you back in bed before you have another kid. I bet you'd get pregnant faster if you worked on that first.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have unexplained secondary infertility. I am 34. We usually had sex 4-5 times a month, and amping it up is taking a toll on us. Should we do IUI? I’m worried about the supposed damage to my cervix? This would be our second and last child.

OP here - many people are misunderstanding. Our usual is 4-5x a month. But I’ve been tracking my cycle and been doing it every day or every other day during the week of ovulation. It’s getting rote because it’s not spontaneous.

I imagine 4-5 times per month could be enough if it’s timed correctly, like every other day between days 10-18 or something like that.

Unless the 4-5 times per month are all during the days you are ovulating, you are not doing everything you can to conceive naturally. I would not even say you're trying, if you're only having sex like once during your fertile days.

Use an ovulation monitor or use basal body temp and time your intercourse. If that doesn't work for 3 months, try an unmedicated IUI.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses. Yes, we are trying and my ovulation and DH’s sperm are fine.

I don’t mind being pg during Covid. I have childcare and can wfh and reduce exposure pretty easily. Ideally, I want my child to have a sibling who’s not too far in age.

Who is your childcare? Does he or she live with you and never leave your house? If not, you have that exposure. Plus, you have exposure by going to the doctor and hospital. Why not just keep having sex, but more frequently. You are only 34 and you have had one baby already.

She probably knows all that. Back off.