Ignore, ignore, ignore

This would absolutely kill me as well, OP. I’d probably act like I didn’t hear it if I could... or say something like “I‘ll keep passing this around the table” or “I’m setting the kids up right now”. I could see my FIL trying to do this type of thing. Ugh

Anonymous wrote:Are you the only person he does this to?

I was wondering the same thing...

1) Pretend you didn't hear him
2) Oh, you were talking to me?
3) In a minute.... (continue your activities)
4) (Say DH's name) - your Dad needs a hand

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are in a bubble with my inlaws. It’s FIL. He’s mid 60’s and perfectly capable of serving himself and waiting his turn. He also has a wife capable of waiting on him if that’s their thing.

I just need a response to make him stop asking me. I don’t care if he asks someone else.

“Oh sure! I’ll get it in just a second!” Then finish up what you’re doing, get the kids their food and forget.

The key is to always say “Yes! absolutely, I’m happy to. Just a sec.” Then strategically forget.

Ugh! Just spoon some f$cking potatoes on the guy’s plate and be done with it.

Am I an insane person? Because more and more I’m finding that you all make no sense to me whatsoever. This post and your follow up commentary has taken more time than an entire lifetime of plopping down an extra helping of food on a relative’s plate when he asks for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are in a bubble with my inlaws. It’s FIL. He’s mid 60’s and perfectly capable of serving himself and waiting his turn. He also has a wife capable of waiting on him if that’s their thing.

I just need a response to make him stop asking me. I don’t care if he asks someone else.

Why not try the nice way and just serve him. It won't kill you.

Nor will it kill FIL to stop with this Men Should Be Served nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are in a bubble with my inlaws. It’s FIL. He’s mid 60’s and perfectly capable of serving himself and waiting his turn. He also has a wife capable of waiting on him if that’s their thing.

I just need a response to make him stop asking me. I don’t care if he asks someone else.

Why not try the nice way and just serve him. It won't kill you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, come ON. Punt it to your husband, each and every time.

"Jim, your dad wants a plate."

If he persists, that's the opening for "I'm off duty at the moment" big smile.

Well done, pp!

The first is what I would do every time. But we also make plates for older relatives (even 60 year olds) and when food is passed down the table I usually offer to serve all around me anyway. Just our family style.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe posters haven’t suggested he be tested for ADHD.

If he has any type of issues, he should ask his wife or his son for specific assistance. The world does not owe him a plate, and OP does not need to Donna Reed her way through life to please him.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe posters haven’t suggested he be tested for ADHD.

OP here. Interesting. His executive functioning is high (was an executive, still meticulous about home maintenance and bills, etc.)

Could it be anxiety? My non professional opinion is that he has untreated anxiety, but it didn’t occur to me that this was related.

Is it possible he wants to make sure he doesn't over serve himself (and not leave enough for others, etc?)

I can’t believe posters haven’t suggested he be tested for ADHD.

OK, so I wouldn't actually do this, but wouldn't it be funny to escalate every time, with funny inflections and faces:

Uhhhhhhh..noooooooo (Valley Girl)

Nope! (Cheerfully, like Olaf when asked if he'd ever had experience with heat)

Whyever would you ask little ol me such a hateful thing? (Scarlett O'Hara)

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, come ON. Punt it to your husband, each and every time.

"Jim, your dad wants a plate."

If he persists, that's the opening for "I'm off duty at the moment" big smile.

Well done, pp!