Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 14:16     Subject: hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.


+1. Give them back now. I had a friend do that except she first said I could keep then, then changed her mind about having another kid and later asked for them back. It was totally a hassle and an awkward position to be in since I had already passed on some things to non-local family. If your friend is telling you now that she wants them back, just put them aside and give them back the next time you see her.


Now THIS is obnoxious - coming back later to ask for stuff back. That would really bother me. At least in this case, she told you pretty quickly.


Np not obnoxious. She probably was just asking if the pp still had them before they got new


Original PP here. No, she was asking for those specific items back. It's actually worse than I originally wrote - they were bigger items (winter coat, etc.) not garments you'd have multiple of. She gave them to me and specifically said I could keep them as they were "one and done", then maybe a year later asked for one thing back to give to a friend. I offered everything back at that time and she said "no need, I only need X item, you keep the rest." Then maybe 2 years later changed her mind and asked for everything else since "haha, obviously I'm going to need it again." Well sorry lady, that ship has sailed and those items are long gone. I gave back what I had and put exactly zero effort into hunting down things that I had given to other people. Then the pandemic hit and I didn't hear from her again, thankfully. It was really something.


Yeah, I mean this is insane but goes under the category of people are super weird about stuff. This is like people who try to sell IKEA furniture for 80% of the new price because it’s “already assembled.” People are just nutty. Do your best to accommodate and then move on. And now you know not to accept any more helpful gifts from that person.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 13:58     Subject: hand me downs again
It’s not obnoxious but just give the favorites back with thanks. NBD.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 13:23     Subject: hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.


+1. Give them back now. I had a friend do that except she first said I could keep then, then changed her mind about having another kid and later asked for them back. It was totally a hassle and an awkward position to be in since I had already passed on some things to non-local family. If your friend is telling you now that she wants them back, just put them aside and give them back the next time you see her.


Now THIS is obnoxious - coming back later to ask for stuff back. That would really bother me. At least in this case, she told you pretty quickly.


Np not obnoxious. She probably was just asking if the pp still had them before they got new


Original PP here. No, she was asking for those specific items back. It's actually worse than I originally wrote - they were bigger items (winter coat, etc.) not garments you'd have multiple of. She gave them to me and specifically said I could keep them as they were "one and done", then maybe a year later asked for one thing back to give to a friend. I offered everything back at that time and she said "no need, I only need X item, you keep the rest." Then maybe 2 years later changed her mind and asked for everything else since "haha, obviously I'm going to need it again." Well sorry lady, that ship has sailed and those items are long gone. I gave back what I had and put exactly zero effort into hunting down things that I had given to other people. Then the pandemic hit and I didn't hear from her again, thankfully. It was really something.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 13:02     Subject: hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:That's totally normal. I'd just put them aside in a brown paper bag labeled "Give to Monica!" and not even use them on my babies.


Agreed, except do this now and drop it off at her house or the next time you see her.

Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 13:01     Subject: Re:hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s weird... baby clothes can be sentimental and maybe she’s planning to have another child? If you’re worried about mixing them up with other clothes, maybe ask if you can label the tags or something. And just make sure it’s not the end of the world if one gets ruined by a blowout and doesn’t make it back despite your best effort. She’s had a baby too - I’m sure she would understand that you can’t always plan for everything! (Though if there are items she would be too upset to lose, then I agree, don’t even use those).


I completely agree, that’s why it’s ridiculous to lend out baby clothes that are sentimental to you. Maybe the pink onesie you used to bring your daughter home from the hospital is super special to you, but for anyone else, it will get lost in a sea of pink.

It’s definitely weird to give other people hand-me-downs that you have a strong emotional attachment to. It’s ridiculous to expect other people to remember which pieces came from you and return them to you. Also, what happens if their baby has a blowout in it? Do you still want it back if ours stained. You need to decide what’s sentimental and what you want to give away.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2020 12:52     Subject: hand me downs again
That's weird. Don't give hand-me-down's expecting them back. I say just tell her to keep the favorites.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:48     Subject: Re:hand me downs again
I don’t think it’s weird... baby clothes can be sentimental and maybe she’s planning to have another child? If you’re worried about mixing them up with other clothes, maybe ask if you can label the tags or something. And just make sure it’s not the end of the world if one gets ruined by a blowout and doesn’t make it back despite your best effort. She’s had a baby too - I’m sure she would understand that you can’t always plan for everything! (Though if there are items she would be too upset to lose, then I agree, don’t even use those).
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:47     Subject: hand me downs again
Too much work. I give stuff away that I don't expect back and my friends are the same. I had one baby girl. Gave away her 0-12 month stuff to several friends. When I had another baby girl 3 years later many of my things came back with additions of their clothes. And stuff that's in good condition will go to same friends or someone else and never come back this way. I kept a couple favorite outfits from the first kid so expected nothing to come back.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:46     Subject: hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.


+1. Give them back now. I had a friend do that except she first said I could keep then, then changed her mind about having another kid and later asked for them back. It was totally a hassle and an awkward position to be in since I had already passed on some things to non-local family. If your friend is telling you now that she wants them back, just put them aside and give them back the next time you see her.


Now THIS is obnoxious - coming back later to ask for stuff back. That would really bother me. At least in this case, she told you pretty quickly.


Np not obnoxious. She probably was just asking if the pp still had them before they got new
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:45     Subject: hand me downs again
I’ve had two girls in a row. In the beginning I could remember who gave me what. But now 5 years later? No way. There are sooo many boxes of clothes.

I am peeved sometimes by people who borrow and don’t give back though. Like I gave someone a travel stroller for a trip and a halo for the newborn phase and neither returned to me. I specifically said borrow too.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:43     Subject: hand me downs again
Give them back now. Unsorted. Too much work. I understand what they’re doing and it’s thoughtful but way too complicated.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 18:41     Subject: hand me downs again
I’d give the favorites back now.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 17:25     Subject: hand me downs again
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.


+1. Give them back now. I had a friend do that except she first said I could keep then, then changed her mind about having another kid and later asked for them back. It was totally a hassle and an awkward position to be in since I had already passed on some things to non-local family. If your friend is telling you now that she wants them back, just put them aside and give them back the next time you see her.


Now THIS is obnoxious - coming back later to ask for stuff back. That would really bother me. At least in this case, she told you pretty quickly.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 16:17     Subject: hand me downs again
It's strange. +1 to giving the favorites back now. I got hand me down clothes from 2 friends plus some baby clothes as gifts and I can't remember which is from who anymore. Also, clothes can stain or get ripped.

I've borrowed and lent some baby gear (like a bassinet and a stroller) from friends, which is easier to keep track of and give back. Clothes, not so much.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 14:47     Subject: hand me downs again
That's totally normal. I'd just put them aside in a brown paper bag labeled "Give to Monica!" and not even use them on my babies.