I am 3 months postpartum and social distancing and I just took some time last weekend to paint my nails, put on a mask, olaplex. I felt so much better afterwards!

you won't turn into a hideous troll just because you have a baby! I've had two, and I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight and body after each. Don't really remember how long it took -- probably 6-8 months. I breast fed both for a year and the weight came off very fast. I was also good about doing Pilates (but not really any other exercise). My hair and skin were the same afterward and my clothes fit pretty much the same. Don't think about it too much--just concentrate on doing what you need to do to get through your pregnancy and the baby stage, and things will eventually come together.

Anonymous wrote:I know this is less effective if you have to spell this out for your husband but for me it was him. Around 4 weeks or so he just would not be able to keep his hands off me And sex was SUPER enthusiastic...he was just so so so into me. He always is but postpartum there was always a crazy spike in passion. He basically talked me into being happy with my body, or sexed me back into being happy with my body, or at least accepting of haha

This sounds wonderful! Congrats!

I know this is less effective if you have to spell this out for your husband but for me it was him. Around 4 weeks or so he just would not be able to keep his hands off me And sex was SUPER enthusiastic...he was just so so so into me. He always is but postpartum there was always a crazy spike in passion. He basically talked me into being happy with my body, or sexed me back into being happy with my body, or at least accepting of haha

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree that a good bra is a GAME CHANGER. Your body will be different. Even when I was my pre-pregnancy size again, my shape was different so lots of the clothes I owned looked bad, I needed a different cut of jeans, etc. High waist compression leggings are life. So are spanx.

This might sound weird but I look "like a mom" now and I always thought my mom was absultely beautiful and smelled so nice. I loved watching her get ready to go on dates with my dad, smelling her perfume, her skin was so soft when she hugged me. I tell myself no matter what my perception of myself is, my daughter will have similar memories with me and it lifts me up. My husband also genuinely finds me attractive still which helps.

I would pin this post if I could. Practical (good bras!) but so emotionally perfect. I still think my elderly mom is beautiful and soft. Hope I know you, PP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me it wasn't about my body at all but my hair and just generally not looking polished or put together. After my second birth when I felt like I had more of a handle on things and wasn't just hit by a truck I put more effort in. Quick shocker rinse every morning and night, put on real clothes (I actually threw out my nasty sweatpants so I wouldn't be tempted!), two minute makeup routine etc.

I won't lie, your hair will be weird for a while. Do what you can

It helps a lot to get good haircuts on a regular basis. Find a stylist you like.

OR- ugh it's really not the cut just the extreme postpartum hair loss and weird regrowth. Back to back pregnancies, half my hair is like four inches long and frizzy curly, the rest is long and straight. I wear a lot of headbands!

I went pixie. It’s such a relief to not worry about hair.

Having a baby makes me feel beautiful & empowered like some sort of goddess. Like I created and sustained life and that’s a magical beautiful thing! Flowy dresses help too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me it wasn't about my body at all but my hair and just generally not looking polished or put together. After my second birth when I felt like I had more of a handle on things and wasn't just hit by a truck I put more effort in. Quick shocker rinse every morning and night, put on real clothes (I actually threw out my nasty sweatpants so I wouldn't be tempted!), two minute makeup routine etc.

I won't lie, your hair will be weird for a while. Do what you can

It helps a lot to get good haircuts on a regular basis. Find a stylist you like.

OR- ugh it's really not the cut just the extreme postpartum hair loss and weird regrowth. Back to back pregnancies, half my hair is like four inches long and frizzy curly, the rest is long and straight. I wear a lot of headbands!

Yes, but it took a while. My pregnancy did a number on my skin. Microdermabrasion facials helped get rid of the acne scarring. I lost the baby weight with time. It took about 9 months, but my body shape changed. You may need new clothes. I got some help from Trunk Club in picking a few outfits that I felt really good in.

Yes, it's possible. I went out to dinner with my husband for our anniversary about 6 weeks after giving birth and remember feeling pretty gorgeous, especially because breastfeeding gave me substantial cleavage in a dress that in normal times I don't exactly overflow.

Agree with suggestions to do your hair, get dressed, and put on makeup if that's your thing. This is also a good way to delineate between daytime and nighttime during those months when you are on an endless 3-hour cycle of feeding and sleeping with the baby.

But in the end, I think it was more important for me to feel human than to feel pretty. Feeling pretty helped, but what helped more was reading, talking to friends about non-baby stuff, seeing a therapist, and spending bits of time on work (even though I was on leave -- it genuinely helped me to use my brain a bit and feel productive). This was much more important.

Plus, as a new mom you will get a pass on your appearance for a while. No one will expect you to try at all, and when you do, they will lavish you with praise. This gets harder when your kid is older and more active, and you realize you have to wear clothes you can chase a toddler in, or can always sit down on the ground in. I found that stage much more challenging in terms of feeling sexy or pretty, because having young kids is such a "mom" stage. But the early days, when you've still got some of the pregnancy curves and your boobs are huge (if you breastfeed) and people kind of dote on you? Not that bad, honestly.