Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:54     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:There are a few things that are weird here. Why do you know what their household income is? Why do you think are SO open about picking up free lunches etc? BTW, buying clothes from Goodwill type places doesn’t bother me.


I don’t think they are very open about it. They don’t have many friends and I don’t think they share this information with anyone else.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:53     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing bad about rich people getting clothes from goodwill or Salvation Army. It’s wise and great for the environment. Save the money for experiences and college rather than things.


HA I had a really big argument with a friend about this once. There is absolutely something wrong with a rich person buying up everything at goodwill.


NP. Disagree. Those places are not meant to help the poor. They're a business trying to make money. I just want the items I donate to be reused.

Getting free clothes and food from churches or soup kitchens is disgusting. Not the same as paying for them at Goodwill.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:53     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.



Are you her financial advisor? Her accountant? Because unless you are intricately involved with their finances, you have no idea.


Nope, I do know. I know where she and DH work and exactly what they make. They do not have student loans or poor relatives or anything else. She shares pretty much everything with me. I do know what her husband can be an absolute prick and he is really controlling about finances and has no self awareness that would show him how crazy this whole thing is. I think she has Stockholm syndrome.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:51     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
There are a few things that are weird here. Why do you know what their household income is? Why do you think are SO open about picking up free lunches etc? BTW, buying clothes from Goodwill type places doesn’t bother me.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:50     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.


Why are you still friends with them????

Seriously. Why?


She did really help me get through a hard part of my life and our kids do like playing together.



So your friend sounds like a good, but an imperfect person, and you sound like you aren't.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:49     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing bad about rich people getting clothes from goodwill or Salvation Army. It’s wise and great for the environment. Save the money for experiences and college rather than things.


HA I had a really big argument with a friend about this once. There is absolutely something wrong with a rich person buying up everything at goodwill.


I doubt they are buying up everything at goodwill.

Re-using stuff is actually the first and most important of the 3 R's of environmentalism.

BTW Goodwill and the Salvation Army get much of their operating budget from the sales at their stores and also toss a lot of what is donated to them because they can't move everything that comes in so most likely this couple is a net benefit to these charities and the environment.

Now if they were insinuating themselves into a place like a Wider Circle that collects professional stuff to help low income people get back on their feet that would be another story.


OP here and I agree with this. I really don’t have as much of an issue with the clothes thing and I shop at goodwill myself sometimes. Most of my furniture is either inherited or thrifted. It’s fine. People buy so much crap in this country and it is terrible for the environment. There is plenty enough for all to recycle. It’s the food thing that I find gross.



So stop hanging out with her and you and your children spend time with the superior beings enjoying cuisine from all over the world that you paid for.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:49     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.


Why are you still friends with them????

Seriously. Why?


She did really help me get through a hard part of my life and our kids do like playing together.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:48     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.



Are you her financial advisor? Her accountant? Because unless you are intricately involved with their finances, you have no idea.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:47     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing bad about rich people getting clothes from goodwill or Salvation Army. It’s wise and great for the environment. Save the money for experiences and college rather than things.


HA I had a really big argument with a friend about this once. There is absolutely something wrong with a rich person buying up everything at goodwill.


I doubt they are buying up everything at goodwill.

Re-using stuff is actually the first and most important of the 3 R's of environmentalism.

BTW Goodwill and the Salvation Army get much of their operating budget from the sales at their stores and also toss a lot of what is donated to them because they can't move everything that comes in so most likely this couple is a net benefit to these charities and the environment.

Now if they were insinuating themselves into a place like a Wider Circle that collects professional stuff to help low income people get back on their feet that would be another story.


OP here and I agree with this. I really don’t have as much of an issue with the clothes thing and I shop at goodwill myself sometimes. Most of my furniture is either inherited or thrifted. It’s fine. People buy so much crap in this country and it is terrible for the environment. There is plenty enough for all to recycle. It’s the food thing that I find gross.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:47     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:Start donating healthier food so actual poor people don’t have to make the same bad food choices as your rich friend.


Now you know darn well OP doesn't care about that. She only cares about being the superior person to her friend.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:46     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing bad about rich people getting clothes from goodwill or Salvation Army. It’s wise and great for the environment. Save the money for experiences and college rather than things.


HA I had a really big argument with a friend about this once. There is absolutely something wrong with a rich person buying up everything at goodwill.


I doubt they are buying up everything at goodwill.

Re-using stuff is actually the first and most important of the 3 R's of environmentalism.

BTW Goodwill and the Salvation Army get much of their operating budget from the sales at their stores and also toss a lot of what is donated to them because they can't move everything that comes in so most likely this couple is a net benefit to these charities and the environment.

Now if they were insinuating themselves into a place like a Wider Circle that collects professional stuff to help low income people get back on their feet that would be another story.



+100
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:45     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


This. It also sounds like your friend and her DH maybe grew up poor. When you come from poverty, it can be a hard mindset to change.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:45     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.


Why are you still friends with them????

Seriously. Why?
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:44     Subject: Re:Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like mental illness to me also. Does your friend have access to money or is her DH controlling the finances?


Agree with these 2 PPs. If it were me, I wouldn't do things with them that involve food because I think it sets a terrible example for your own kids. No inviting them over to eat, no traveling with them.


Doing nothing that involves food really does limit options.. It’s easy to say because food is always in the background of our lives but harder to implement in real life. I understand not hosting this family for dinner, but are you really never going to eat snacks at a park together? Being this intentional about avoiding food is too much work. Better to drop this family and find normal people to hang out with.

Anonymous
Post 08/12/2020 10:44     Subject: Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change


OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.