Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:59
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Upon consideration, I think I will just omit pronouns and use the proper noun. I think the partner is pronoun borders on cultural appropriation And it just feels wrong to use it
How is it cultural appropriation?
It's African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) and as far as I can tell SO is not AA and neither are DD and I. If you must know it's a variation of the "them" pronouns - dey/dem/demselfs
SO speaks with a blacent, and it feels like vocal blackface to me. I don't know maybe dey're code switching. I don't know enough of SO's history. Don't want to bring it up to DD, just want to be supportive.
Yikes.
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:57
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Just say hi "first name" will "you" do such and such. Or refer to them as my daughter's partner 'first name last name." How many people refer to others by their pronouns when they are right in front of you anyhow? I tend to call people "first name".
That's what's always made me want to eye roll.
OTOH, OP's DD is likely to be insulted on the partner's behalf if the pronouns are not used per requirement when partner is not around.
At the same time, aren't pronouns by definition supposed to be generic and not the equivalent (nearly) of proper names? Aren't designer pronouns kind of an oxymoron?
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:53
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Make sure you require an equally cringeworthy set of pronouns be used to refer to you by that person.
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:49
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Just say hi "first name" will "you" do such and such. Or refer to them as my daughter's partner 'first name last name." How many people refer to others by their pronouns when they are right in front of you anyhow? I tend to call people "first name".
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:23
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:It is rude for the partner to require the whole world to use made up words and new speech patterns just to feel validated. What if everyone did this?
Luckily we don't need to worry about absurd hypotheticals that will never happen.
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:21
Subject: Re:Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:A coworker of my DDs uses a pronoun that’s not he, she, or they (I have never met the person, and can’t remember what my DD said the pronoun was) but the coworker doesn’t want to be called “they” even as part of a group. So if DD wants to refer to a group of coworkers, she can’t say “they went on break at 5pm” even if she’s talking about 5 different people. She’s never used the wrong pronoun to refer to the individual, but has tripped up a couple times in the group they. To me this seems harder to overcome than the individual pronouns.
It’s an insane level of narcissism to dictate the word used to describe you when you’re not even there.
Anonymous
08/18/2020 15:19
Subject: Re:Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
A coworker of my DDs uses a pronoun that’s not he, she, or they (I have never met the person, and can’t remember what my DD said the pronoun was) but the coworker doesn’t want to be called “they” even as part of a group. So if DD wants to refer to a group of coworkers, she can’t say “they went on break at 5pm” even if she’s talking about 5 different people. She’s never used the wrong pronoun to refer to the individual, but has tripped up a couple times in the group they. To me this seems harder to overcome than the individual pronouns.
Anonymous
08/18/2020 14:32
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Upon consideration, I think I will just omit pronouns and use the proper noun. I think the partner is pronoun borders on cultural appropriation And it just feels wrong to use it
How is it cultural appropriation?
It's African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) and as far as I can tell SO is not AA and neither are DD and I. If you must know it's a variation of the "them" pronouns - dey/dem/demselfs
SO speaks with a blacent, and it feels like vocal blackface to me. I don't know maybe dey're code switching. I don't know enough of SO's history. Don't want to bring it up to DD, just want to be supportive.
Is your DD dating Rachel Dolezal?
Anonymous
08/18/2020 14:29
Subject: Re:Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If someone asks you to use specific terminology to refer to them, then yes of course it is rude not to.
Completely disagree. I'm not maintaining a dictionary of terms for each person I meet. If a trans person asked me to refer to them as he or she, I would, but made up words? No way.
Right, because you meet soo many non-cis or trans individuals that you need a whole dictionary to keep them straight.
Just own the transphobia, k?
Anonymous
08/18/2020 14:26
Subject: Re:Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:If someone asks you to use specific terminology to refer to them, then yes of course it is rude not to.
Completely disagree. I'm not maintaining a dictionary of terms for each person I meet. If a trans person asked me to refer to them as he or she, I would, but made up words? No way.
Anonymous
08/17/2020 14:05
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Upon consideration, I think I will just omit pronouns and use the proper noun. I think the partner is pronoun borders on cultural appropriation And it just feels wrong to use it
How is it cultural appropriation?
It's African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) and as far as I can tell SO is not AA and neither are DD and I. If you must know it's a variation of the "them" pronouns - dey/dem/demselfs
SO speaks with a blacent, and it feels like vocal blackface to me. I don't know maybe dey're code switching. I don't know enough of SO's history. Don't want to bring it up to DD, just want to be supportive.
Anonymous
08/17/2020 13:15
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
It doesn’t stop. Language evolves. I’m 45 and it annoys me sometimes because I don’t want to hold all this new stuff in my head. Not enough room. Lol. But I adore my kids and their friends. I’ll call them what ever they want.
Anonymous
08/17/2020 12:57
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I find made-up pronouns very precious and annoying, but you still need to call someone what they ask to be called.
Where does this stop, though? What if I prefer to be called Princess Bananahammock? (No really, where does it stop?)
What difference does it make? If someone introduces themselves a certain way, you address them as such. Isn’t that the rule we’re taught as children when we want to be polite?
Anonymous
08/17/2020 07:53
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
Anonymous wrote:I find made-up pronouns very precious and annoying, but you still need to call someone what they ask to be called.
Where does this stop, though? What if I prefer to be called Princess Bananahammock? (No really, where does it stop?)
Anonymous
08/17/2020 07:52
Subject: Is it rude to use They and not made up pronoun
It's totally obnoxious but you'll get labeled a zoomer