Anonymous wrote:From a mom who nursed all four of her kids: I don’t think it matters one bit and wish I’d been able to let go of the idea that I absolutely had to breastfeed. My kids are now 7, 9, 12 and 14 and I’m not currently breastfeeding them, and it turns out they’re doing just fine. It’s not my milk that makes me their mother.

+1,000,000

Oh my gosh, please do not sweat it! I was insane about breastmilk with my first. It made me crazy always calculating how many Oz getting up in the middle of the night, etc. whatever you feed your baby, will be fine. Please don’t stress about this. Give the formula and know that your baby will sleep through the night faster than a breastfed baby would.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.

I know exactly how you feel. I had kids around the same time as my sister and SIL. Both of them had freezers overflowing with thousands of ounces of extra breast milk. I, on the other hand, couldn’t pump all 20 oz of milk my LO needed for daycare each day. In was really overwhelmed with breast feeding the first time around, and made a lot of mistakes, like missing hunger cues if baby had just eaten, but was still hungry. The second time around, I told myself that I’d do everything right. I drink more than 100 oz of water, eat a giant bowl of oatmeal with breakfast, and never go more than 3 hours without nursing or pumping. Baby can’t even clear his throat without me trying to shove a boob in his mouth. And while my supply is slightly better, I’m still getting just enough to get by. It was so hard for me to accept that I needed to supplement, but out of all her cousins who only ever had breast milk, my DD is the healthiest and most advanced developmentally. I think a supply is one of the few tangible and quantifiable pieces of motherhood, so it’s hard to see someone pumping 70 oz a day, and wonder why you’re not doing the same, when you’re doing everything right.

I will say, baby and I were SO much happier when I gave up on trying to up my supply, and just added more formula.

Yes, thanks for this - it's hard to not compare yourself. I must also add, it is maddening to Google anything about low supply. I'm glad you PPs are willing to share your real experiences, because all the websites with breast feeding advice are like "low supply is all in your head!" It's like these people are all in cahoots to make you feel insane.

-OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.

What regrets do you have? It sounds like you were doing the best you could

This is OP. The regret basically stems from ignorance during the time I should have been establishing supply. Those first few days home I let a couple of loooong stretches of time pass without nursing.

The nurses in hospital had us supplement with some formula to help her gain a bit of weight back, and sent us home with the formula. On two occasions I went like 9-12 hours without nursing and DH gave her formula instead. The hospital gave us a book to log the first 10 days of feedings, otherwise I would probably not remember. I had an unplanned C-section with a complication and was kind of a mess and on painkillers. Breast feeding didn't mean much to me at first - I just figured formula was so much easier amidst the chaos. After the first few days, I nursed her more regularly but honestly it was often every 3ish hours...she didn't do much cluster feeding, probably because I was unaware of her cues.

Baby and I had a hard time nursing the next couple of weeks and I did some pumping to give her milk, but we eventually got the hang of it. However, my supply was always a struggle, and I've tried everything to amp it up. Now, I love nursing her but she's rarely satisfied by it unless it's like first thing in the morning when I have enough milk. Otherwise she's eating her fist after nursing. If I go somewhere with her, I always need to bring a bottle of pumped milk or formula, as I don't have enough to nurse her until she's full and it would result in a very unhappy baby. It's just a lot of extra drama with feeding that maybe I could have avoided if I'd gotten off to a good start, kept her close and fed often (and if I still had low supply I'd know I tried my best). I'll get over it...just having a stressful time and wanted to get it all off my chest.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to send made bottles, or can you just send a can of formula and some empty bottles? That’s what we used to do. If you can, just think of it as just having made your life easier in the mornings. Deal with the breastfeeding at home. I also had supply issues and honestly it was so much easier when I switched over to formula entirely.

I was thinking I'd send pre bottled breast milk and formula so I would know how much of each she was having each day. But yes, good point, I could opt for can of formula and bottles instead and let them do it.

-OP

Anonymous wrote:I was in a very similar boat, OP. I am also in public health and work on breastfeeding issues, so I know quite a bit about the benefits. You know what? Your kid already has them all. You did it! Keep breastfeeding when you can if it brings you pleasure, but essentially now it is for the cuddles. Oh, and that kid who I stated supplementing at 3 months? He’s now sprawled across the couch, all 6 foot 1 of him, healthy as a horse and smart as a whip. You done good. Now just enjoy your baby!

Can you tell me more about this? I think you are probably talking about the immunity boost...it only takes 3 months of breastfeeding?

-OP

It. is. Fine! I promise! Anyone that judges you is an asshole. You are doing great.

Do you have to send made bottles, or can you just send a can of formula and some empty bottles? That’s what we used to do. If you can, just think of it as just having made your life easier in the mornings. Deal with the breastfeeding at home. I also had supply issues and honestly it was so much easier when I switched over to formula entirely.

I was in a very similar boat, OP. I am also in public health and work on breastfeeding issues, so I know quite a bit about the benefits. You know what? Your kid already has them all. You did it! Keep breastfeeding when you can if it brings you pleasure, but essentially now it is for the cuddles. Oh, and that kid who I stated supplementing at 3 months? He’s now sprawled across the couch, all 6 foot 1 of him, healthy as a horse and smart as a whip. You done good. Now just enjoy your baby!

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.

What regrets do you have? It sounds like you were doing the best you could

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.

I know exactly how you feel. I had kids around the same time as my sister and SIL. Both of them had freezers overflowing with thousands of ounces of extra breast milk. I, on the other hand, couldn’t pump all 20 oz of milk my LO needed for daycare each day. In was really overwhelmed with breast feeding the first time around, and made a lot of mistakes, like missing hunger cues if baby had just eaten, but was still hungry. The second time around, I told myself that I’d do everything right. I drink more than 100 oz of water, eat a giant bowl of oatmeal with breakfast, and never go more than 3 hours without nursing or pumping. Baby can’t even clear his throat without me trying to shove a boob in his mouth. And while my supply is slightly better, I’m still getting just enough to get by. It was so hard for me to accept that I needed to supplement, but out of all her cousins who only ever had breast milk, my DD is the healthiest and most advanced developmentally. I think a supply is one of the few tangible and quantifiable pieces of motherhood, so it’s hard to see someone pumping 70 oz a day, and wonder why you’re not doing the same, when you’re doing everything right.

I will say, baby and I were SO much happier when I gave up on trying to up my supply, and just added more formula.

My youngest is 3 and honest toGod I can’t remember which of my kids had formula and which only breast milk. Seriously - it feels like a big deal but the baby will be fine either way! Best of luck.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.

No one knows what they’re doing. It’s okay to feel disappointment. You have the right attitude though by keeping it in perspective and moving on.

Anonymous wrote:The benefits of breastfeeding are from the presence of breast milk, not the absence of formula. Fed is best!

I kinda want to embroider that first sentence on a throw pillow!

-OP

Thank you, PPs. I’m reading these replies and they really mean a lot. I have some regrets over not doing more to bolster my supply in the earliest days and weeks...didn’t really know what I was doing. I just have to move on and enjoy my baby and feed her without all this drama.