Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Doing all the mundane things together” IS a part of long-term relationships and marriage - that thought isn’t unique to your ex-BF. I don’t know, maybe you just haven’t met the right guy. But it’s unclear what you’re looking for — it sounds like you want exclusivity and monogamy without intertwining lives? But “hook-up guy” wasn’t able to offer you even that.

Is it though? Why is that? Why can’t I have a LT partner who keeps their own house, finances, etc and I keep mine? Why do I need to see someone everyday? I would rather have quality time vs quantity. That’s not to say, you can’t help each other out, but I have no desire to have someone give their input on my living space, other mundane aspects of life.

You can, and some people do. But that cuts off the possibility of dating men who want to get married and have children.

Obviously. I don’t want kids.

You also have to recognize that with LTRs there will always be some mundane stuff, even if you live apart most of the time. What happens if one of you needs surgery? Gets ill and needs to be driven to the Dr? Part of being in a long term partnership is taking care of each other when needed, and also when its not needed. It's being able to rely on someone, and being reliable for them. It's not exciting all the time.

You don't say how old you are, but you sound immature at worst, or perhaps you are very young.

Medical issues are different than taking out the trash or washing the dishes.

We clearly have different life priorities. Mine are different, for some reason you think that is immaturity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Doing all the mundane things together” IS a part of long-term relationships and marriage - that thought isn’t unique to your ex-BF. I don’t know, maybe you just haven’t met the right guy. But it’s unclear what you’re looking for — it sounds like you want exclusivity and monogamy without intertwining lives? But “hook-up guy” wasn’t able to offer you even that.

Is it though? Why is that? Why can’t I have a LT partner who keeps their own house, finances, etc and I keep mine? Why do I need to see someone everyday? I would rather have quality time vs quantity. That’s not to say, you can’t help each other out, but I have no desire to have someone give their input on my living space, other mundane aspects of life.

You can, and some people do. But that cuts off the possibility of dating men who want to get married and have children.

Obviously. I don’t want kids.

You also have to recognize that with LTRs there will always be some mundane stuff, even if you live apart most of the time. What happens if one of you needs surgery? Gets ill and needs to be driven to the Dr? Part of being in a long term partnership is taking care of each other when needed, and also when its not needed. It's being able to rely on someone, and being reliable for them. It's not exciting all the time.

You don't say how old you are, but you sound immature at worst, or perhaps you are very young.

Did you also post about wanting to date older divorced guys on the other thread?

It sounds like you need a hobby. Get out of your head for a bit...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hookup definitely isn’t married.

I feel like he is hard to read sometimes, but maybe that is my insecurity. All and all, he is a pretty straight forward guy and I don’t feel would respond/hangout because he was worried he might hurt my feelings. He is just different in a very interesting way. We are also very similar. I know when I like someone, even if we are in fact dating, it takes me a while to get comfortable and express that.

All of this is nonsense and gibberish. Shoot your shot or shut up and live with regret.

For rizzeal.

Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about 51 year old men?

Great call!
Thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Doing all the mundane things together” IS a part of long-term relationships and marriage - that thought isn’t unique to your ex-BF. I don’t know, maybe you just haven’t met the right guy. But it’s unclear what you’re looking for — it sounds like you want exclusivity and monogamy without intertwining lives? But “hook-up guy” wasn’t able to offer you even that.

Is it though? Why is that? Why can’t I have a LT partner who keeps their own house, finances, etc and I keep mine? Why do I need to see someone everyday? I would rather have quality time vs quantity. That’s not to say, you can’t help each other out, but I have no desire to have someone give their input on my living space, other mundane aspects of life.

This is not usually how it works. You are looking for a unicorn. When people want a long term partner, it is usually the whole thing--living together and doing the mundane stuff. Most people do not want what you want.

I do, but I am divorced (and a woman and I have kids). If I did not have kids though, I would want the traditional LT (living together but not marriage).

You just have to accept you are probably not going to get what you want. If you do not want what goes into an LT, you are probably off the table for most people. You will have to settle for a series of longish-term hookups but not an actual LT relationship.

You may have more luck with divorced men who never want to marry again.

Its been a couple of years, move on. It sounds like desperation because you have zero prospects.

OP, it sounds like hookup guy wasn't that into you. Hence, he was a hookup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Doing all the mundane things together” IS a part of long-term relationships and marriage - that thought isn’t unique to your ex-BF. I don’t know, maybe you just haven’t met the right guy. But it’s unclear what you’re looking for — it sounds like you want exclusivity and monogamy without intertwining lives? But “hook-up guy” wasn’t able to offer you even that.

Is it though? Why is that? Why can’t I have a LT partner who keeps their own house, finances, etc and I keep mine? Why do I need to see someone everyday? I would rather have quality time vs quantity. That’s not to say, you can’t help each other out, but I have no desire to have someone give their input on my living space, other mundane aspects of life.

You can, and some people do. But that cuts off the possibility of dating men who want to get married and have children.

Obviously. I don’t want kids.

OP cannot communicate clearly here. I doubt she can communicate clearly with dating partners...

How do you feel about 51 year old men?