Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:150K people in this country have died due to covid, and we are worried about this??????

Np: Are we only allowed to think/care/discuss COVID? Life goes on and questions/thoughts/needs arise - eating, drinking, sleeping COVID and only COVID cannot be good for one’s mental health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has probably been discussed before but I can't locate any threads on the topic.

What's the general wisdom on gift giving to a niece/nephew/dear friend's child who is an only child, when you have multiple children? My situation is that I have three children and multiple important people in my life who are parents of only children. These friends and family gift each of our kids generously but not extravagantly - we're talking $30-50 per gift per kid - for bdays and holidays and special events. When it comes to their child's birthday or special event, should I gift them similarly, or do a bigger gift, since they've spent 3x the amount on my family throughout the year?

If I were to triple the amount spent on my kids, I'd be doing a $150 gift for each the only children. Which I'm fine with financially, but don't know if it's awkward to give such a large gift... as a parent of an only child, would you prefer your child to receive something equal to the amount you spend total on my kids, or something equivalent to what you spent on just ONE of my kids? I am fine either way, but don't want to come off as "tit for tat" with giving an extravagant gift, or cheap, by giving a "regular" gift.

Also, everyone in my scenario is in a similar-ish financial situation... comfortable and not depending on these gifts or struggling to make the gifts happen.

I honestly would rather forego the gift giving and have suggested it, but others want to keep the tradition going.

Thanks for your feedback.

my thoughts exactly

OP, honestly, this is not even a blimp. Give whatever you want. The economy is tanking, over 150,000 dead from a pandemic, children can't go to school, millions unemployed and,. Lucky you, have only to worry about how much to pay for a gift!

Anonymous wrote:I have an only and my brother has 3 kids. Not gonna lie, I get annoyed when I spend money on all his 3 kids for Easter, Christmas and birthdays and he spends the equivalent of one kid on my kid.
So lets say the average gift price is $20. I am spending $180 a year on his kids. He is spending $60 on mine.
Maybe I seem greedy, but its annoying to me.

Anonymous wrote:I have an only and my sister has three kids. It would never occur to me that my kid should get a bigger gift because there’s only one of him. Gifts are for a person, not for a family.

Anonymous wrote: I have a 5 year old only. First, absolutely only the amount you spend on other kids. It would be incredibly unfair to everyone for one kid to get a $150 gift and the others get $50 gifts. It's not about fairness to the parents for spending, it's about fairness between the kids. They don't understand overall spending, they just see the difference in gifts and that looks like preferential treatment.

Second, and let me say this loudly for the people in the back, it is HARD not to spoil an only when you are comfortably middle class. Our only is the only grandchild on one side and the only grandchild of that sex on the other. This kid blinks at a toy and there is a line of well meaning grandparents and aunts and uncles lining up to buy it for them. You can't hide it when they're talking about it on a Facetime call, and it makes it really difficult to teach them not to be greedy and entitled (which is a normal development stage for all kids, not an only child exclusive) when they say "boo" and an Amazon package arrives two days later. So for me at least, my only needs LESS stuff than the other cousins because they get 99% of what they want unless I specifically jump in and say "thank you, but please don't buy that just because my kid asked for it."

Anonymous wrote:This has probably been discussed before but I can't locate any threads on the topic.

What's the general wisdom on gift giving to a niece/nephew/dear friend's child who is an only child, when you have multiple children? My situation is that I have three children and multiple important people in my life who are parents of only children. These friends and family gift each of our kids generously but not extravagantly - we're talking $30-50 per gift per kid - for bdays and holidays and special events. When it comes to their child's birthday or special event, should I gift them similarly, or do a bigger gift, since they've spent 3x the amount on my family throughout the year?

If I were to triple the amount spent on my kids, I'd be doing a $150 gift for each the only children. Which I'm fine with financially, but don't know if it's awkward to give such a large gift... as a parent of an only child, would you prefer your child to receive something equal to the amount you spend total on my kids, or something equivalent to what you spent on just ONE of my kids? I am fine either way, but don't want to come off as "tit for tat" with giving an extravagant gift, or cheap, by giving a "regular" gift.

Also, everyone in my scenario is in a similar-ish financial situation... comfortable and not depending on these gifts or struggling to make the gifts happen.

I honestly would rather forego the gift giving and have suggested it, but others want to keep the tradition going.

Thanks for your feedback.

Anonymous wrote:Please don't give my child 3x the amount of gift that his cousins get! It is not good for him.