Anonymous
08/01/2020 11:52
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No.
Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk
We walked in the rain this morning. Quit making excuses.
I am 100% aware that it is a lame excuse. My issue is making the psychological leap to actually doing. In particular, I have a real hang up about exercising outside in the rain because that is how I was hit by the car. I’m not afraid of getting wet. I am afraid of another distracted driver being unable to brake in time. It as something I’ve done some therapy about but I haven’t overcome that mental barrier yet.
NP, I don't blame you. A couple of years ago I was running in a light rain, slipped on some mud while running downhill, and broke an ankle. Took months to recover to the point I could run again. I still avoid running in the rain now too. But could you at least go out for a brisk walk on a trail, away from cars? Anything to get outside, just to break through the mental block.
Anonymous
08/01/2020 09:57
Subject: Re:Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here - I miss working out together with my spouse. Prior to kids we did a few half marathons together and would play tennis and stuff like that. Now we can't do that since one of us has to be home with the kids. When we are on vacation we will go running together and that is always nice! Also I am a runner and he only runs with me because I make him. He is a biker and likes to lift weights. I hate lifting weights. We do like the same sports though so we will do tennis or golf or something like that.
This is us except I am the biker and DH is the runner. We got a bike trailer for our bikes so we can ride together with the kids. We do really long walks together with the kids, and we generally work out at the same time (after kids go to bed I bike (indoors) while he runs). Then we stretch together and decompress. It’s not the same but it’s the “working out together” we can do for now.
Op here - I can’t wait to do this! We have a newborn who can’t go in a trailer or bike seat yet so we haven’t done this. Hopefully we can do this soon and go biking together!
Anonymous
08/01/2020 09:48
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No.
Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk
We walked in the rain this morning. Quit making excuses.
I am 100% aware that it is a lame excuse. My issue is making the psychological leap to actually doing. In particular, I have a real hang up about exercising outside in the rain because that is how I was hit by the car. I’m not afraid of getting wet. I am afraid of another distracted driver being unable to brake in time. It as something I’ve done some therapy about but I haven’t overcome that mental barrier yet.
Anonymous
08/01/2020 09:29
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
No. DH is very tall and in good shape (and if he gained 15 pounds you wouldn't even notice). Am am short, and have gained 30 pounds over 23 years and 3 children. Being short, those 30 pounds are even worse - I am probably considered obese
Anonymous
08/01/2020 09:04
Subject: Re:Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Anonymous wrote:OP here - I miss working out together with my spouse. Prior to kids we did a few half marathons together and would play tennis and stuff like that. Now we can't do that since one of us has to be home with the kids. When we are on vacation we will go running together and that is always nice! Also I am a runner and he only runs with me because I make him. He is a biker and likes to lift weights. I hate lifting weights. We do like the same sports though so we will do tennis or golf or something like that.
This is us except I am the biker and DH is the runner. We got a bike trailer for our bikes so we can ride together with the kids. We do really long walks together with the kids, and we generally work out at the same time (after kids go to bed I bike (indoors) while he runs). Then we stretch together and decompress. It’s not the same but it’s the “working out together” we can do for now.
Anonymous
08/01/2020 09:00
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
I work out more but DH is in better shape. We both have always enjoyed work out and working out together. Small kids have derailed that for awhile but we still do what we can together.
Anonymous
08/01/2020 08:56
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Anonymous wrote:No.
Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk
We walked in the rain this morning. Quit making excuses.
Anonymous
08/01/2020 08:54
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Yes we have same high level and interest in fitness and eating healthy. It is our hobby/passion/lifestyle that we really enjoy. We are at the same fitness level now as we were when we first married. Thankfully we added a home gym a couple of years ago. Married 23 years.
Anonymous
07/31/2020 13:48
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
We're both slim, but with different fitness levels.
DH has always been the sporty type (never set foot in a gym, but maintains a 6-pack by being active). He used to run half marathons. I have asthma and tend to be more sedentary. Before we got married I know he was wistful for a more active partner, and I used to worry about being able to keep up with him. 14 years and 2 kids later, I think we're doing fine, since we manage to have fun together, like biking, canoeing, yoga at home, etc. He can bike way faster than me, but will either wait or ride loops around me so at least we're doing it together.
DH has always been the sporty type (never set foot in a gym, but maintains a 6-pack by being active). He used to run half marathons. I have asthma and tend to be more sedentary. Before we got married I know he was wistful for a more active partner, and I used to worry about being able to keep up with him. 14 years and 2 kids later, I think we're doing fine, since we manage to have fun together, like biking, canoeing, yoga at home, etc. He can bike way faster than me, but will either wait or ride loops around me so at least we're doing it together.
Anonymous
07/31/2020 12:45
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
We ebb and flow. Pre covid I was at the gym 4x a week. Now I'm pregnant with HG so can't do anything and hubby has been running 5x a week during this pandemic. He's trained for a marathon before which required me to step back and give him more time (we have small kids) and I've had crappy mental health stints where hubby realizes it's more important for me to ge try work out time in.
Anonymous
07/31/2020 11:31
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Yes, we are both 58 and train together for triathlons. It is our passion. We also ski in winter. Since we both spend so much time on our fitness activities it would not have made sense for us to marry someone who was not on the same path. Our 18 year old son is also a triathlete and he often serves as a pacer for us.
Anonymous
07/31/2020 10:54
Subject: Re:Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
We are both physically fit and workout regularly. However, for me, working out is 40 mins cardio in the morning and walking 3 miles after dinner. I also take fitness, dance, and yoga throughout the year (obviously, didn't happened this year). Dh is much much more fit and athletic (i.e. 10 mile runs in the morning, 1 hr+ of regular weight training).
Anonymous
07/31/2020 10:27
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
No.
Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk
Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk
Anonymous
07/31/2020 10:18
Subject: Re:Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
OP here - I miss working out together with my spouse. Prior to kids we did a few half marathons together and would play tennis and stuff like that. Now we can't do that since one of us has to be home with the kids. When we are on vacation we will go running together and that is always nice! Also I am a runner and he only runs with me because I make him. He is a biker and likes to lift weights. I hate lifting weights. We do like the same sports though so we will do tennis or golf or something like that.
Anonymous
07/31/2020 10:15
Subject: Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
Generally, with the recognized differences in men and women. That said, when we first met, one of our regular dates was going to the gym.