Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 15:41     Subject: Re:Is this a Midwesterner thing?
It's not so much where you were raised but who raised you. What OP is describing is just poor manners and self-centeredness.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 15:13     Subject: Re:Is this a Midwesterner thing?
It’s personal. I’ve lived in very region of the country.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 15:07     Subject: Re:Is this a Midwesterner thing?
There is a definite Midwesterner way of starting or ending a conversation, but those are different matters.


hey, I want to know
np here
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:08     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
You just described my aunt to a T. And it's hard to describe that she's actually a nice person, but then also....this.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:01     Subject: Re:Is this a Midwesterner thing?
Nope. Not a Midwesterner thing. There is a definite Midwesterner way of starting or ending a conversation, but those are different matters.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:57     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
I have had this problem with people from: Indiana, Maryland, Toronto, and China.

Never a problem with Africans and people from Ohio....

SO, it is just a person problem, not a location problem
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:55     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
Anonymous wrote:I have a very good friend who has a tendency many times not to ask reciprocal questions. For example, if you are texting each other and you ask how she is, she will give you a lot of detail in her response but about 70% of the time she doesn’t ask in turn how you are. I’ve never heard her ask other people about their job, although she loves to talk about her job and happily goes on at length if anyone asks about it. I’ve heard all about her kids’ school situation but she hasn’t asked what’s going on with mine (we live in different counties plus her kids go to private). I’ve asked how her extended family is doing in Covid times but she hasn’t asked about mine. And so on. At other times she will initiate a “how are you?” or sympathetically listen if I discuss something going in with me. We are in frequent contact and I know she cares about me and my family. She is a good person. But she has this kind of myopia and often just does not reciprocate or initiate or follow up.

She is from the Midwest. Is this a Midwest thing? Do midwesterners feel it’s nosy to initiate and if someone wants to share something they’ll proactively come out with it? My own feeling is that if someone doesn’t ask, they aren’t interested, and I’m used to having a more two-way dynamic when I’m communicating with someone. Thoughts?


No, of course not. What a weird assumption.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:35     Subject: Re:Is this a Midwesterner thing?
Anonymous wrote:I live in the Midwest now, grew up in the south, have also lived on both coasts. I don’t think this is a regional thing at all. It’s just a thing w people who are a) rude, b) incurious, and/or c) socially awkward/don’t understand basic social cues. Those people exist in every region but in my personal experience, people were most likely to be that way on the east coast.


I am from the Midwest and concur with this. I actually found people on the whole to be friendlier in the Chicago area than on either coast. My father-in-law is like this (NEVER asks a question, which comes off as super disinterested in others) and he lives in Seattle.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:53     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a Midwesterner and I do think this is a Midwestern thing. For me at least, I was taught to not be nosy and wait for someone to offer information. I really try to ask the right questions without seeming like a busybody but I do worry about walking that line.


I'm from DC and I was also taught this but I try to be cognizant of finding a balance.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:48     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
This is typical behavior of self-absorbed people everywhere. It has nothing to do with geography.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:31     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
My mid-western in-laws never ask me about my job, which I always assumed was either a mid-western thing or because they don’t know how to converse, which I also thought might be a mid-western thing.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:25     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
I find it's a DC area thing. I don't tend to see it in people.whonlibe outside this area, but I have had several relatives start to do this once they moved here. Didn't understand it until I moved here myself.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:20     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
No relation to where she lives.

However, there are some people who are raised in "children are to be seen not heard" and "don't ask questions, it's rude" families (which can happen anywhere) that are like this. Particularly women, I've noticed. They might have been raised in homes where girls were taught to not ask questions.

You can say something like, "you are a good listener and I really enjoy sharing information with you. Thank you for asking how my family is" next time she asks. Make her feel like it's okay.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:16     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, some hate talking about themselves but can lecture in and on about their office work or industry and can’t tell when people are desperate to leave the One-way “conversation”.

The art of conversation. Must not be so prevalent these days.

Haha, so true. I heard an ex boyfriend spend 45 minutes telling his mom about his job. There no way she understood, it was all technical and specific to the industry. He never asked about her anything.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:52     Subject: Is this a Midwesterner thing?
On the flip side, some hate talking about themselves but can lecture in and on about their office work or industry and can’t tell when people are desperate to leave the One-way “conversation”.

The art of conversation. Must not be so prevalent these days.