Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:40     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Are you an exception? What happened to your classmates?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:40     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for doing this AMA.

How does what we're going through now compare to what you remember of living through years of war? Both in terms of day to day life - but also how you feel and cope emotionally?

Are you surprised how much we all seem to be falling apart, even with our relative (and pretty robust) comfort here?


There are a very few similarities in my opinion. We still have food (the only food we had was given to us through humanitarian aid. I remember eating cookies from 1963). We have running water, we have electricity, we have internet, we are able to drive around freely and go take walks in the woods, we are able to communicate with your loved ones even though it may not be in person. No one is shooting at us constantly. I can't tell you how many times I was chased by a sniper. Things may not be comfortable right now, but they are far from being tragic. Of course, I'm not including the people who have lost their jobs and face evictions in this generalization. They are really struggling.

I cope by telling myself that this will be over one day and we will be able to go back to normal. You'll be surprised how fast we will forget this ever happened.

I cope by reciting every night (to myself) all of the things that are still going well in my life.


Thank you for your answer - and, just, holy sht. I have a friend who is also a refugee from Bosnia and I feel like such a soft marshmallow every time she tells me any detail about what her life was like then. Soft and weak, and grateful.

Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:37     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
My husband was a war refugee. He was brought to a foster home and sent to school in his new country after a year of missed education in his native land. His teacher thought he was cognitively deficient, when actually his cultural references were just too different.

He went on to get an MD and a PhD.

I moved a lot as a child to various countries because of my father’s job. There were no international schools in most of them, so I had to scramble to learn the language, and master different curriculae. Did you know math is taught VERY differently from country to country? That was my hardest challenge. I too became a scientist, but to this day I don’t really like math.


Math was my hardest challenge as well. That's why I took remedial math in college to get caught up. I have a hard time showing my 11 year old how to do math because they teach it so differently here. Luckily, math comes naturally to him.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:37     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
OP, thank you for doing this thread. Like a PP, I also visited Bosnia after the war and found the country to be beautiful and the people warm and welcoming.

What were the education levels of your parents? I would expect that that impacted the kind and amount of books in your home, yes?

Did your friends have a similar experience with a lot of reading? Where are they now in life?

How did your parents cope emotionally with the situation and what did they convey to you about it?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:35     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Generally what happened to people your age? Do most of them have a college degree?


No, of course not. I think our response to think will be far more important than what is going on now in terms of education. A lot of the youth fled the country after the war looking for some normalcy and better opportunities. I personally was not able to leave Sarajevo during the war because it was under siege the whole time. Just like in normal times, some kids had the advantage of natural curiosity and the ability to go to college and others did not.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:34     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the levity. As a person who has also experienced great tragedy in my life, it is hard to read the endless sadness from people who think the world is ending. No, it's not great but life could be SO MUCH WORSE.


Exactly! i realize no one wants to hear that when they are going through something hard, but it really is true.


Agreed! And I will always empathize with someone suffering because pain is not a contest, but it is helpful to consider that things can be worse.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:32     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:I visited BiH after the war. Such a beautiful country, and the people were so warm and welcoming.


Thank you for saying that. We have a great sense of community, I think.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:31     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the levity. As a person who has also experienced great tragedy in my life, it is hard to read the endless sadness from people who think the world is ending. No, it's not great but life could be SO MUCH WORSE.


Exactly! i realize no one wants to hear that when they are going through something hard, but it really is true.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:30     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for doing this AMA.

How does what we're going through now compare to what you remember of living through years of war? Both in terms of day to day life - but also how you feel and cope emotionally?

Are you surprised how much we all seem to be falling apart, even with our relative (and pretty robust) comfort here?


There are a very few similarities in my opinion. We still have food (the only food we had was given to us through humanitarian aid. I remember eating cookies from 1963). We have running water, we have electricity, we have internet, we are able to drive around freely and go take walks in the woods, we are able to communicate with your loved ones even though it may not be in person. No one is shooting at us constantly. I can't tell you how many times I was chased by a sniper. Things may not be comfortable right now, but they are far from being tragic. Of course, I'm not including the people who have lost their jobs and face evictions in this generalization. They are really struggling.

I cope by telling myself that this will be over one day and we will be able to go back to normal. You'll be surprised how fast we will forget this ever happened.

I cope by reciting every night (to myself) all of the things that are still going well in my life.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:29     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Unfortunately though, today our kids have technology so reading to escape isn’t happening.

My mother was not allowed an education beyond elementary school. She left home at 14, went to a nursing school. She started with basic nursing, then midwife, then public health. Received a Bachelors and Masters and then applied for a work visa in the US. Came here by herself in the 60s with no family support and knowing no one.

I definitely think those living in other non 1st world countries have much more grit and determination along with much better coping skills. I feel like I have a good amount from being raised by my mom (though not as much as her) but it is even less so now with my kids.

Living with the comforts of a first world country just doesn’t make the same types of citizens. There is no perfect place and with advantages comes disadvantages.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:29     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for reminding everyone here that MANY people have it much worse. Our kids will be fine!


+1 I think this is my favorite AMA.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:28     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.

My husband was a war refugee. He was brought to a foster home and sent to school in his new country after a year of missed education in his native land. His teacher thought he was cognitively deficient, when actually his cultural references were just too different.

He went on to get an MD and a PhD.

I moved a lot as a child to various countries because of my father’s job. There were no international schools in most of them, so I had to scramble to learn the language, and master different curriculae. Did you know math is taught VERY differently from country to country? That was my hardest challenge. I too became a scientist, but to this day I don’t really like math.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:28     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Happy for you, op. Thank you for sharing.


Keep your kids reading, anything and everything. They will learn and grow. This will just be a blip. Best wishes to all the teachers and parents out there.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:26     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Not a similar story but I come from outside the US and the major panic has been eye opening. I can relate to freaking out because of the impact it has on finances for some people. But the “my child is now suicidal,” “how will my child ever recover academically?” is striking. I’m not talking about the parents whose kids have special needs and need OT and other services. I’m talking about parents of Gen ed/AAP kids who are freaking out about college and their kids losing an edge. I guess it’s all anxiety and people feel they can’t control things. But things could be so much worse with a pandemic. Kids are resilient if we convey to them they are resilient and not fragile snowflakes who will crumble with any hardship.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 10:26     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Generally what happened to people your age? Do most of them have a college degree?