Together 20 years, if it’s me, I ca by sleep and I don’t want to wake my partner with tossing and turning. My partner would be in the bathroom and would be coming back shortly

What is the correct answer OP?

For us, I am always so tired I would probably think to worry, then fall back asleep while wondering where he was/if I should get up. As I am a light sleeper I'd then probably wake up a few mins later and get up to make sure he is ok at that time. I usually hear if he gets up or is complaining (occasional allergies or heartburn/gas for him). I'd also be worried/make sure the kids were all ok in case he was helping them. I would think nothing nefarious.

I check on him. He’s almost always downstairs playing a video game (or working) and lost track of time. But he needs that reminder to go to bed, because missing sleep isn’t good, either.

I would fall asleep, but I'd be alert enough to notice if he didn't come back. Happened a couple of years ago and he'd passed out. Took him to the ER.

Even if I woke up I might not notice. I try to keep my eyes shut to go to the bathroom, I don't like to be touching when sleeping, so ...

Anonymous wrote:Unusual for him, so likely he’s in the bathroom.

Married for 25 years. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up and wondered where he was.

I, on the other hand, often flee if he’s snoring and/or I have insomnia. He does not awaken so doesn’t check on me until the next morning. He knows I’m in the basement flopped on the couch.

Yep, this is me about 4 nights a week. I am sure he has never looked for me, nor has he ever asked in the morning how I slept.

Within normal for him so I wouldn't think anything of it. Very rare for me and would mean I was ill, so he might wait a few minutes but then come and check.

We agreed to wake each other if one of us or one of the kids is sick. Otherwise, he assumes I am reading on the couch cuz I can’t sleep and I assume he is in the bathroom. For awhile when we had eldercare responsibilities, we would both be awake at odd hours handling those matters.

I might look for him

Very unlikely DH wouldn't be in bed beside me at 3am. I would think he was in the bathroom, if he wasn't.

I’d definitely check on him because he sleeps like a log. I, on the other hand, wake up every two hours or so. Sigh.

Go back to sleep. He's on the couch downstairs sleeping or reading if he can't sleep.
If it's 4:30 am then he's running or lifting weights in the basement

We have our own rooms on separate sides of the house so we wouldn't know if one was or wasn't asleep.

Unusual for him, so likely he’s in the bathroom.

Married for 25 years. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up and wondered where he was.

I, on the other hand, often flee if he’s snoring and/or I have insomnia. He does not awaken so doesn’t check on me until the next morning. He knows I’m in the basement flopped on the couch.

^^^ Forgot to add, neither one of us are getting up to go look for the other.