i did 3 IUIs at 41-42. BIG WASTE OF TIME. Had a beautiful DE baby at 44.

I think you should go to IVF or DE. If your provider thinks your chances with OE IVF, IUI makes no sense. I think you need to get another opinion.

It really depends on how much money you have to try multiple things and how important it is to you for the baby to have your genes. If you are ok with DE, just do it. If you are on the fence emotionally with DE, I would try regular IVF with PGS testing or natural cycle IVF over IUI.

Anonymous wrote:IUI at that age has about the same, if not better, success rate as IVF. I was the same age going though it. If it is important to your husband I would try a round (or two) of IUI then, if not successful, move to donor egg. You can be preparing for the donor egg cycle while doing IUI so you won’t lose much time.

Most people don’t know this, but it’s true.

I’m like the PP upthread. Via IVF I retrieved something like 80 eggs. Not a single blast to transfer. With IUI my body might have selected a good egg on its own.

IUI at that age has about the same, if not better, success rate as IVF. I was the same age going though it. If it is important to your husband I would try a round (or two) of IUI then, if not successful, move to donor egg. You can be preparing for the donor egg cycle while doing IUI so you won’t lose much time.

^ all of this

Anonymous wrote:Why would you consider IUI if you aren't considering IVF? That makes no sense to me. I think IUI is a waste of your time. Go straight to IVF, either OE or DE.

Totally agree. If your doctor thinks you have a 5% chance of getting pregnant with IVF, your chance of getting pregnant with IUI is going to be lower. I hope your doctor explained that, and think it’s very misleading if he or she told you IVF would be nearly impossible, but to go ahead with IUI If you want. It’s like saying your leg is broken and you need a cast, but if you want to try a Band-Aid first to see if it will help then go for it. I would go right to donor egg or embryo knowing this process and take the upwards of one year to prepare for.

Anonymous wrote:If she thinks it’s an egg quality issue, what’s her rationale for why an IUI would help?

This. IUi is a waste of time

Do natural Cycle IVF if you are willing to try for
6 more months

Anonymous wrote:45 and pregnant via donor egg. Please don't listen to the naysayers who say 45 is too old. Do what you think is best for you.

People are saying conceiving at 44 is difficult for IUI. Conceiving at 44 with donor eggs or embryos is a different story.

I’ve told my story on here before, but I got pregnant on my own very easily three times.

#1 @ 38: T21, terminated
#2 @ 39: amazing 5yo girl
#3 @ 40: T21 *again*, terminated

I then did four rounds of IVF. Got 60+ eggs. ZERO viable blasts.

Finally went with donor egg (Frozen cohort of 7 from World Egg Bank; got 3 embryos to blast.) Best decision ever. I have an incredible daughter who is now 1.5. She and her sister adore each other. I have no regrets, other than wishing I’d done it sooner—but then I wouldn’t have this incredible girl, so ultimately, it’s fine. The knowledge of the donor egg is still always with me, but I 100% feel like her mother. I have pangs that she doesn’t look like me or could have concerns/conflicted feelings about it as she gets older. But the benefits outweigh my concerns, and she’s a wonderful addition to our family.

Not too old! I had DE singleton at 43, and then DE twins from the same DE cycle at age 46. Younger kids are now 15 1/2, and I turned 62 last week. (and, Due to pandemic, I am starting my social security now--and guess what, the twins will also get some benefits while they are still in high school!)

I started TTC around age 35, had endometriosis and other unexplained infertility. With IVF, I also never got pg tho transferred probably 20 or more embryos. Finally got pg when we did immuno-suppression protocal

We had two donor egg pregnancies at 42 and 44. Given that you just had a successful pregnancy and tour numbers still look good, I’d try a round or two of IUI before proceeding to DE. You can start looking at donors in the meanwhile just in case things don’t work out. My only caution would be the higher risk of Downs Syndrome at your age. If this concerns you, you might go straight to DE.

How badly do you want a second child?

Realistically it will probably take donor egg to have one. Having used a sperm donor, I will say this: You will love a donor-conceived child with your whole heart just as you do your first. But the donor will never not be there. I think this becomes even more true when your first child is not donor-conceived. It will be firmly woven into your family story and a difference between your children even if you love them 100% equally. So you just want to be really thoughtful before choosing this path to add a second child. I don't say this to in any way discourage donor egg. I think it's amazing. Just to note that switching to donor egg for a second child may be a different calculus than donor egg for a first and only child.

If you like the idea of a second child, but don't feel like your family will be incomplete if you end up with an only, then you could just let fate decide - which is essentially what IUI at 44 is.

Anonymous wrote:45 and pregnant via donor egg. Please don't listen to the naysayers who say 45 is too old. Do what you think is best for you.

+1
I had my first and only at age 45 with donor egg. So what feels right for you.

Why would you consider IUI if you aren't considering IVF? That makes no sense to me. I think IUI is a waste of your time. Go straight to IVF, either OE or DE.

45 and pregnant via donor egg. Please don't listen to the naysayers who say 45 is too old. Do what you think is best for you.