I’m surprised no one mentioned teaching consent. You can’t teach it in the moment but you can rely on it then. We talk about consent all day with my super touchy 4 year old. This looks like lots of talk about bodies ... eg “only you can know if you are still hungry, it’s your body.” Or “I see you are trying to help your sister over the stair, that is really thoughtful but she is in charge of her own body and id she needs help she will ask.” No shame and no blaming. When she says no hugs or no kisses we stop. Her dad and I do “tickle hugs” which she thinks are hilarious... he comes in and hugs me all sweet and then tickles me. Sometimes I let him. Sometimes I say no before he starts. Sometimes he starts and I then ask him to stop. We normalize boundaries for all bodies. All this to say, when she gets up in my space sometimes now I can say calmly and without incident either “hey I know you’ve been working hard on paying attention to your body” or “sweetheart I’d like you to stop touching my face right now.” If she gets grumpy about it and I am ok with the touching I might say “you can’t put your hands in my armpit right now but can I put my arm around you instead?”

We also bought her a weighted blanket which helps at story time/bedtime.

Defiantly hurting the baby needs to end. Tell her because she is too rough she is not to touch the baby without asking first. No more access to the baby unless you are available to directly supervise. You know now that getting in the baby's face quickly escalates to hurting the baby. Rather than ask her to get out of his face, pick her up and move her out of arms reach while telling her no.

Anonymous wrote:If my kid does this (rarely but sometimes) or if she is super wiggly when I'm reading I just stop reading. It works because she loves being read to. Same age.
We also have a 10 month old. If she is hurting the baby I walk away with the baby.

But on the flip side, we give a lot of positive attention to her. I actively and loudly tell the baby to "wait" while tending to the oldest. And lots of one one one mom or dad time. It really really cuts down into he negative attention seeking behavior.
How old is the baby? Took about 6 months for my oldest to realize the baby didn't take her place and it got much better after.

Baby is 7 months.