Do you just want people to tell you it’s okay or do you want help coming up with alternatives?

My two kids are double your kids' ages and are allowed 3 hours a day, but the time spent "creating" rather than "consuming" doesn't count. So if they are writing code, or making a movie, or playing with Garage Band and making music that doesn't count.

I've been letting our 3.5 year old watch an hour plus of 123 Andres (local DC kids musician) on you tube through apple TV every day. She's up dancing and singing and picking up some Spanish - probably not much better than watching TV but I tell myself that it is. I also feel like she acts up less when we turn that off than other regular TV shows like Daniel Tiger. I like the audiobooks recommendation too, any suggestions for what books / series are good for preschoolers?

It doesn’t seem like enough if you are going to be working full time and your husband is out of the house. I would just let them binge on Odd Squad 7 hours/day.

Girl this is a crisis and the rules are out the window.

At that age, they may be old enough to enjoy some screen time that is slightly better than just watching cartoons.

Zoom with friends
Dance or yoga or exercise video
Drawing tutorials
Lego or magnatile creation videos


Just very slightly better than watching cartoons could be read-aloud books on apps like Epic or recorded book readings on YouTube

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

+1 The AAP recommendations and the WHO recs are both based on the fact that we simply don't know what the impact is of screen time on child development. The studies are universally inconclusive. But we definitely know what the impact of poverty is on kids. We definitely know what the impact of parental mental health is on kids. It is bizarre to me how often screen time is discussed and measured in a vacuum without any consideration for how screen time helps overburdened parents survive.

When my FIL died last year, we spent two weeks with our in-laws, helping with his final days, planning the funeral, and helping my MIL. There were so many days where our daughter just wound up watching hours of television so we could meet with the funeral director or take a nap after an emotionally draining day. Some of it was "good" children's programming but some of it wasn't -- she definitely watched hours of Sofia the First which is questionable at best. We obviously rolled it back when we returned to our lives, but I would say for a good six weeks she was still watching more TV than any pediatrician would recommend. We were burned out and mourning and there were just a lot of days where we couldn't do it.

I felt super guilty about it at the time and for weeks after, but then I mentioned it to our pediatrician who put it in perspective. If watching an extra hour of tv makes it possible for you to be present and engaged with your kid afterwards, it's worth it. Is it a longterm solution? No, of course not. But it's a tool you can use to get you through a crisis. A death in the family, a pandemic, school closures, mental health difficulties -- these are crises. Do what you need to do, and when you are ready, start making plans for how you will recalibrate once the crisis passes. It doesn't make you a bad parent. You are managing a crisis. The fact that you are even worrying about screen time indicates that you have your kids' best interests in mind. Cut yourself a break.

Anonymous wrote:
It’s fine but there are two rules:

1. Don’t sit too close to the screen.

2. Watch from a list curated by you.

I wrote this. PP's idea of audiobooks is great!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

+1. I know how hard it is too but four hours a day is too much.

You're trying to work and pay Bill's. It's fine.

I think it's fine.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

I think there is a difference between silly tv shows and educational screen time. So I would just be sure some of that 4 hours is educational or Facetime with relatives. Have the 7 year old practice reading to the 5 year old.

Do what you have to to keep your sanity. Others have mentioned ways to keep it from getting too negative for the kids (breaking it up a little, restricting what they can watch, etc.) which is probably good. But zero judgment here.

My husband and I are both working from home and sharing parenting duties for our 2-year-old. He has a regular 9-5 (normally in office) but I am a freelancer and my work ebbs and flows a lot, and it's gotten worse since the pandemic started. During weeks when I have a ton of work to do, I just recognize that I'm going to have to let our kid watch more TV than I normally would. Then when it's quieter, I'll plan more activities for us to do and can sometimes go for a full week with hardly any TV at all except yoga videos and screen time with grandparents.

You might not be able to swing this if your work is more consistently hectic, but I have found it really helps me get over my guilt from the days where she just gets planted in front of a Daniel Tiger marathon for two straight hours. Even if you can't do this during the week, maybe you can approach one of the weekend days this way or set aside times during weekdays where there is no screens at all, just so everyone gets a chance to reset and reconnect.