Is it sexist to refuse to date or marry someone of a particular sex?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to answer your question - its racism.

So now I'm a racist because I am not attracted to people of a different race. OK, you folks have gone off the deep end. This is getting ridiculous.

You're not attracted to one single person of a certain race? Hah. Yes, you are racist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to answer your question - its racism.

So now I'm a racist because I am not attracted to people of a different race. OK, you folks have gone off the deep end. This is getting ridiculous.

Yeah that is a little crazy. I am not at all attracted to asian guys. I'm not racist and can be friends with anyone.

Anonymous wrote:No. Racism is to deny civil liberties, constitutional rights, human rights, educational opportunities, govt and NGO programs, job opportunities, housing opportunities and protection of law and order.

I do not care if others don't want to date or marry my children.

So people who call black people the N word aren't racist?

I think there’s a big difference between not finding ANYONE of a particular race other than your own attractive enough to casually date and preferring to marry someone from your own religion or ethnic group —particularly if your group is a minority (Jewish, AA, etc).

No. Racism is to deny civil liberties, constitutional rights, human rights, educational opportunities, govt and NGO programs, job opportunities, housing opportunities and protection of law and order.

I do not care if others don't want to date or marry my children.

Anonymous wrote:Just being honest, the Indian kids at my DD’s high school only sat with one another at school. They spoke in Hindu to each other. They weren’t allowed to hang around with “other” kids outside of school, let alone date them.

Your ignorance is showing. Hindu is a religion and a person who follows Hinduism. The language that some Indians speak is Hindi. There are many Indian languages and I can assure you that most of the kids are not speaking their mother tongue outside of their home and outside of their family group.

There are no Indian kids at your daughter's school. They are Indian Americans. The reason that they are not hanging out with other kids is that they are focussed academically. They do hang out with kids from other races who are into academics, scholastic endeavors or EC activities. My Indian-American HS kid has a close group of kids who are from all colors and (gasp!) all political leanings - but they all are good well behaved kids and come from families that prioritize learning. All are liked very much by the teachers.

Trust me, if any Indian-American kids do not hang out with some kids, it is less to do with their race and more to do with their character.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more to do with culture than racism - hard to have a relationship when you have completely different values and attitudes as someone.

Values and attitudes are not the same as religious beliefs or practices. There are a lot of people that identify as Catholic or Jewish that are not and have never been practicing, and still use it as an exclusion criteria even though their daily lives are no different than anyone who does not identify as such.

That may be so, but nonetheless their upbringing, even if not religious, may still have informed their values and attitudes. I find I have a lot more in common with secular Jews (I am Jewish) than with secular Christians. I never knew many Jews growing up other than my family; I had no Jewish friends until college. It was amazing how fast I clicked with other Jews in college and after, even before I knew they were Jewish. Of course I had many good friends who weren't Jewish -- my best friend since high school is not Jewish -- but of all the friends I've made as an adult, it is striking that 9 times out of 10, those with whom I felt instantly comfortable were Jewish. There are exceptions, of course.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to answer your question - its racism.

So now I'm a racist because I am not attracted to people of a different race. OK, you folks have gone off the deep end. This is getting ridiculous.

It’s racism if you refuse to consider a person’s qualities because of the color of their skin alone. You can’t honestly say that all people of any one skin color are unattractive to you. Everyone looks different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to answer your question - its racism.

So now I'm a racist because I am not attracted to people of a different race. OK, you folks have gone off the deep end. This is getting ridiculous.

I do agree it is ridiculous. I think sometimes it comes down to personal preference.

My boyfriend has a young man working for him. T. is white. T. only dates AA women. Is T racist because he prefers AA women and does not date white women?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to answer your question - its racism.

So now I'm a racist because I am not attracted to people of a different race. OK, you folks have gone off the deep end. This is getting ridiculous.

What are the traits they all share that you find unattractive?

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the reason why. Restricting yourself because you think another race is less than or unworthy of you is bigoted. But, restricting yourself because you want to be able to connect based on shared experiences is not bigoted, restrictive, but not bigoted. Intent matters in this case.

Agree. Intentions matter. Choosing a marriage partner is a huge life choice. Race shapes the experiences that people have in this country. There’s a big difference between “I want to marry someone who will understand my cultural traditions and values” and “people of x race are all ugly/stupid/not marriageable.”

Refusing to date a different race? Yes, that's racist. Culture? That gets more complicated.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more to do with culture than racism - hard to have a relationship when you have completely different values and attitudes as someone.

Values and attitudes are not the same as religious beliefs or practices. There are a lot of people that identify as Catholic or Jewish that are not and have never been practicing, and still use it as an exclusion criteria even though their daily lives are no different than anyone who does not identify as such.

Anonymous wrote:I want my sons to marry Jewish women. I don’t care if they are black, brown or purple.

I respect people of faith.