Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:33
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?
OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!
Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?
He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.
absolutely not. Tell him to save his allowance and get it himself. Or he can wait till his bday or xmas.
That's what we do for our 15 yr old. He gets $40/month for allowance, but he has bought his own phone, laptop, computer, airpods, etc... We don't buy him super expensive gifts for bday or xmas. Instead, what we would spend on an expensive gift, we give him cash throughout the year in the form of his allowance so he can learn to manage his money. He's pretty good at it. Between a few jobs he got paid for and all his bday/xmas money, he has saved over $4000, even with buying himself those expensive things. He's also learning how to invest the money in the stock market.
Also, he has a cheap phone plan, and he has to pay for the data himself. He uses at wifi at home.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:31
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?
OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!
Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?
He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.
absolutely not. Tell him to save his allowance and get it himself. Or he can wait till his bday or xmas.
That's what we do for our 15 yr old. He gets $40/month for allowance, but he has bought his own phone, laptop, computer, airpods, etc... We don't buy him super expensive gifts for bday or xmas. Instead, what we would spend on an expensive gift, we give him cash throughout the year in the form of his allowance so he can learn to manage his money. He's pretty good at it. Between a few jobs he got paid for and all his bday/xmas money, he has saved over $4000, even with buying himself those expensive things. He's also learning how to invest the money in the stock market.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:25
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:$30 a month is nothing. How old is he?
Again. Rich people issues. Most families do not give their kids that much. Blows your mind, right?
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:13
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If this were another time, I'd suggest taking him to volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen. It's not so easy to ask for expensive wants when coming face to face with people who struggle to attain what they need to survive.
Perhaps a documentary? You could try Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things or Living On One Dollar.
It seems like he's hyperfocusing on his little world rather seeing what the rest of the world is going through. This could be a good teachable moment.
Poor people are not props for you to use to teach your entitled child about privilege.
No kidding.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:11
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
$30 a month is nothing. How old is he?
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:02
Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
I am sitting in my office right now. My 17 year old is in the copy room doing mind numbingly dull clerical work in exchange for the princely sum of $10/hr. I think she is lucky and very privileged to have a mother who owns her own business and can employ her this summer. There is not a chance I would buy her a $200 anything because her friends have them. If she wants to spend $200 on something, that is 20 hours of work and she can decide whether or not her desired item is wroth it.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 14:00
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
I did too, and we were poor. I wanted what my friends had. Sad thing is my sweet mom would bust ass to get me most of what I wanted
Anonymous
06/29/2020 13:51
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?
OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!
Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?
He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.
$30 a month isn't even $10 a week. What is he expected to spend the allowance on? That's not even lunch out once a week, or (pre pandemic) one movie out with friends a week, or barely one coffee drink a week. At a minimum, I'd up the allowance - there's that guideline of a dollar a week per year of age, so at least I'd give him $15 a week, or $60 a month.
You know that some families can't afford that, right? OP is probably giving him as much as she is able to. When I was 15 I certainly didn't have lunch out once a week, or a weekly movie, or coffee drink. I don't see these as a necessity. He can save his allowance for things that are important to him.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 13:44
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Most phone plans are unlimited but he can use WiFi.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 13:37
Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
I mean sure - let him use his allowance on whatever he wants. I don't see the issue.
As long as he's not asking YOU to buy it.
As long as he's not asking YOU to buy it.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 13:34
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Shoes, AirPods, phone plans with a lot of data, a car, Xbox, basement room renovation,
It never seems to end. He works a little bit but between COVID and family vacations- not much. And that’s his walking around money-
He gets an allowance ($30/mo)
Should we let him spend it on whatever he wants? He’s home all the time now and wearing me down.
Please advise
If you give him an allowance, he should be allowed to spend it on whatever he wants. That's how kids learn to budget, make good spending choices, etc.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 12:16
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Where has he got his attitude about entitlement and materialism from?
Anonymous
06/29/2020 12:16
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
First, I wouldn't buy him anything that would strain the family budget.
Second, he should already be allowed to use his allowance for whatever he wants. That's what an allowance is for!
Third, I would normally suggest he find a little job for himself to earn his own spending money, but because of the pandemic, pay him to work for you around the house. You must have list of projects or task or chores that need to be done.
Second, he should already be allowed to use his allowance for whatever he wants. That's what an allowance is for!
Third, I would normally suggest he find a little job for himself to earn his own spending money, but because of the pandemic, pay him to work for you around the house. You must have list of projects or task or chores that need to be done.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 12:15
Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:Shoes, AirPods, phone plans with a lot of data, a car, Xbox, basement room renovation,
It never seems to end. He works a little bit but between COVID and family vacations- not much. And that’s his walking around money-
He gets an allowance ($30/mo)
Should we let him spend it on whatever he wants? He’s home all the time now and wearing me down.
Please advise
You mean the allowance? What is he allowed to do with it currently? Isn't the basic idea to teach about saving for things you want and deciding what your priorities are among the things you do want? Guessing if he wants a car he is 16 or close to it, $30 a month isn't going to do it, but thinking the financial education (and maybe the allowance, or pay for extra chores) need to move ahead a bit.
Anonymous
06/29/2020 12:12
Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Pp here. I misread your post. He should be spending his own money on big ticket items. Or he can ask for them for Christmas