Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I’ve expressed my concerns about health and tried leading my example. I have not said “I am no longer attracted to you.” If the tables were turned, would he be a giant ass for pointing out my 50 point weight gain? If he told me he was no longer attracted to me because I had let myself go, I would be crushed.

Yes, you WOULD be crushed (so would I). But although I think men would be a little hurt, they wouldn't be crushed, and would be more motivated to lose the weight.

Men and women ARE different.

Yup. This would work on a guy:

"You are a disgusting fatbody! Your ass looks like 250lbs of chewed bubble gum! You repulse your wife, and you repulse me! Now drop and give me twenty!"

OP, when I told my DH I felt much less attracted to him for other reasons he was crushed. How sensitive is your DH? I agree with the PP who said you should tell him if it could deeply damage the marriage. Three years is a long time.

I think it's awful if you sit him down and say you're unattracted to him. That being said, if this is gonna end up leading to resentment and then divorce, then it's better to give him the option now.

I would start by maybe doing a family challenge of no sodas in the house or something. Then if you're always stocked on beer, don't be. That alone can put on a LOT of weight. Added weight can cause depression and make it easier to gain more weight, and sometimes, when you feel bad physically, you'll feel bad about yourself and stop realizing that you need care. I'm a self-saboteur. I realized it in one of my relationships, if I'm loved and things are good, I have to push the limits so the other person leaves, maybe he is too?I've never met a fat person who became fat because they love food so much. There's always an underlying issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL! Basically this same post EXACTLY was made by a man talking about his wife a month or two ago and people crucified him, saying it's his own fault for making her depressed or not helping out enough and that's why she gained weight. Unbelievable double standard.

This. Virtually everyone on the mans thread said it was the mans fault that his wife was overweight and that the man caused the wife to be depressed and eat.

That is absolutely not true.

his body his choice and fat is beautiful! He is plus size and you have no right to body shame him.

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I’ve expressed my concerns about health and tried leading my example. I have not said “I am no longer attracted to you.” If the tables were turned, would he be a giant ass for pointing out my 50 point weight gain? If he told me he was no longer attracted to me because I had let myself go, I would be crushed.

Yes, you WOULD be crushed (so would I). But although I think men would be a little hurt, they wouldn't be crushed, and would be more motivated to lose the weight.

Men and women ARE different.