I was not at all popular as a kid, but my DD, now 10, is. She's a people person and always has been. She's always delighted to talk to someone and have someone talk to her, whereas as a kid, there were a lot of time where being around peopel tired me out and I just didn't want to talk. Classic introvert and extrovert. I think people pick up on that genuine delight to be around somebody -- and it is genuine and she's very accepting of a lot of different personalities, except mean people. They actually intimidate her, so I wouldn't say she's perfectly confidental all the time. But she does have good people skills -- I've seen her connect two kids who don't know each other so they all play together so smoothly I am amazed. As an adult, I can barely do it. She's the type who gets picked to show the new kid around, or partnered with a shy kid who needs a little encouragement, according to her teachers. Judging by who says hi to her when I see her in school, she's pretty well-liked.

I think she'd make a good counselor or therapist as a adult. She says she's thinking of being a teacher. I can see that too.

Charm.

Anonymous wrote:Having an open mind, and not being racist helps. Realizing that one has privilege and acknowledgement of the same is an indicator of popularity

Unfortunately I don’t think any of this is accurate.

And why is this in Family Relationships?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach high school. Money and personality are big factors. For girls looks help, for boys being funny or athletic. All have confidence.

All PROJECT confidence.

Agree, it's more often projecting confidence than having confidence. Also, a willingness to take more risks. Next come money, power and looks.

PP you are quoting. I also think funny kids, not ones who are constantly on or trying out comedy routines but if you are told "you are funny" a lot, people tend to gravitate towards that. Not mean spirit humor either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach high school. Money and personality are big factors. For girls looks help, for boys being funny or athletic. All have confidence.

All PROJECT confidence.

Agree, it's more often projecting confidence than having confidence. Also, a willingness to take more risks. Next come money, power and looks.

PP here but also if you have evidence they keyed your car file a police report.

Anonymous wrote:In the school I teach the popular teachers are the really mean ones who have no problem making snarky comments as well as things such as keying the cars or unplugging the computer systems of those teachers outside their circle of friends. Obviously these things were done pre- Covid.
They know the principal has their back no matter what.
I’m not a troll and I’m not exaggerating.

Hahahahah are you serious? You need to find a new school. I have never worked with people who act like the teenagers they teach.

In the school I teach the popular teachers are the really mean ones who have no problem making snarky comments as well as things such as keying the cars or unplugging the computer systems of those teachers outside their circle of friends. Obviously these things were done pre- Covid.
They know the principal has their back no matter what.
I’m not a troll and I’m not exaggerating.

They usually make fun at themselves and give credit to others. But, the fun is not mean spirited.

You could always read the book: https://www.amazon.com/Popular-Finding-Happiness-Success-Relationships/dp/039956375X/

The desire to popular, charisma and social sophistication.

Anonymous wrote:Their own imaginations; or the imaginations of those who give them that label.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Popular-elitist/mean/feared, or popular-well-liked?

I'm popular and I think it's because I'm confident and comfortable in my own skin, to a degree where I can be a bit generous and bring people into conversations or situations if I see they look shy or nervous or feel excluded. Because I'm not overly worried about whether people like me, I'll take a chance to make a joke, try a new line of thought, be vulnerable.

Most people like me. Some don't. And that's all the same to me. It truly doesn't bother me if I don't get included in everything, or if the conversation doesn't shift my way, or if someone talks about an event I didn't attend. I go with the swim, so I'm in the swim.

+1

This is me.

Confidence and power or the illusion of