I used to get very upset when my girlfriend/wife cried. Eventually I realized I was being manipulated. We aren't very close anymore, although we are still married. She doesn't cry anymore either, partly due to medication and partly because she doesn't care about me very much anymore. It's not a good situation.

Totally depends on why she is crying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I cry, my husband gets angry and tells me why I shouldn’t be crying. Whenever I get emotional about something he gets angry.

Yep, husband responds like this to our little kids too.

Wow. Not ok!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of monsters are some of you all married to? Crying happens when people are hurt, sad, angry, grieving, in pain or overcome with joy. Tears are just one facet in a normal, healthy range of emotions. A normal response to tears is empathy and a shoulder to cry on.

I think a lot of people, especially boys/men, are taught that crying is bad or a sign of weakness. Most people were punished, taunted, or criticized for crying as children. When you’ve internalized that crying is bad, it makes you feel very uncomfortable when other people cry.

I teach my kids that it is healthy to have a range of emotions and my dh does, too. We both grew up in homes where emotions were either deeply repressed or volatile, explosive and disproportionate. We continually work on being emotionally healthy and we discuss our feelings openly. When my kids cry, we comfort them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband becomes noticeably uncomfortable, but he does his best lol. He absolutely cares, he just doesn't know what to do. Luckily neither of us are big criers.

+1

I am a DH. I feels sad when my DW cries and try to fix the boo boo but she just mostly wants comfort. I am uncomfortable when she cries as I don't have much experience comforting anyone when they cry. Most men don't hang out with people who cry and thus, we don't know what to do and are generally uncomfortable.

Don't you have kids? How do you comfort them when they cry? Hug them? Murmur comforting words?

Anonymous wrote:What kind of monsters are some of you all married to? Crying happens when people are hurt, sad, angry, grieving, in pain or overcome with joy. Tears are just one facet in a normal, healthy range of emotions. A normal response to tears is empathy and a shoulder to cry on.

I think a lot of people, especially boys/men, are taught that crying is bad or a sign of weakness. Most people were punished, taunted, or criticized for crying as children. When you’ve internalized that crying is bad, it makes you feel very uncomfortable when other people cry.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of monsters are some of you all married to? Crying happens when people are hurt, sad, angry, grieving, in pain or overcome with joy. Tears are just one facet in a normal, healthy range of emotions. A normal response to tears is empathy and a shoulder to cry on.

Unfortunately, there are many monsters out there.

Anonymous wrote:When I cry, my husband gets angry and tells me why I shouldn’t be crying. Whenever I get emotional about something he gets angry.

Yep, husband responds like this to our little kids too.

I cry a lot and at this point my husband does not care at all if I'm crying. In fact, I believe he finds it annoying. Then again, at this point my husband doesn't like me very much. Which is why I sometimes cry.

I feel bad for her when she cries that she's upset about something but I'm not sure I would classify it as painful or something that makes me want to cry. Often times she gets herself worked up somewhat irrationally over a series of increasingly unlikely to occur events so we just talk it through and she will usually realize her perception of an event is unlikely. For example, she's worried we will go bankrupt if she loses her job which isn't even remotely grounded in reality. After talking through the actual numbers she felt better.

What kind of monsters are some of you all married to? Crying happens when people are hurt, sad, angry, grieving, in pain or overcome with joy. Tears are just one facet in a normal, healthy range of emotions. A normal response to tears is empathy and a shoulder to cry on.

My husband gets annoyed and tells me to grow a thicker skin. I try really hard to not show emotions around him anymore, though I never cried around him much anyway.

Anonymous wrote:I have never cried in front of my DH. Together nearly 25 years.

I guess you're fortunate that you've never suffered or that you only suffered when he wasn't home.

I have never cried in front of my DH. Together nearly 25 years.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very upset when I cry. I don't cry that often and he loves me and is upset when I'm in pain. I feel very sad and upset when he is in pain too.

This. I rarely cry because I’ve had a lot of trauma and my mom would punish me for crying. Being able to cry in front of my DH is a big sign that I trust him, but I tend to express stress or sadness in other ways like jaw clenching or stomach pain.