Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tired of the constant stupid bickering between them and purposeful antagonizing. When are they mature enough to realize that if they cooperate with one another and stop getting on my nerves over stupid stuff both of their lives are so much easier and they get more of what they want?! Seriously, guys, if you just take turns on the electronics and let me do my work without constantly having to step in and mediate, I'll forget all about the time limits and you'll have hours. Instead, we're setting timers for taking turns and then I'm going to take it away from them.

Typical example: 12 year old will insist it's his turn to play with the xyz and then hang onto it without playing with it just so the 9 year old can't have it, just because it's his turn. Leaving the 9 year old to cry inconsolably. So fine, 12 year old, waste your turn for the joy of antagonizing your brother, then 9 year old gets his turn and then both of you must go outside and no one gets any more turns.

Have you tried coaching on conflict resolution? Asking, not prescribing... I realize every relationship is different. When mine get in this situation often they pull out a timer and can at least agree on turns that way. It’s hard — you have to make your expectations for the house environment heard if their conflicts are detracting from peace.

Anonymous wrote:So tired of the constant stupid bickering between them and purposeful antagonizing. When are they mature enough to realize that if they cooperate with one another and stop getting on my nerves over stupid stuff both of their lives are so much easier and they get more of what they want?! Seriously, guys, if you just take turns on the electronics and let me do my work without constantly having to step in and mediate, I'll forget all about the time limits and you'll have hours. Instead, we're setting timers for taking turns and then I'm going to take it away from them.

Typical example: 12 year old will insist it's his turn to play with the xyz and then hang onto it without playing with it just so the 9 year old can't have it, just because it's his turn. Leaving the 9 year old to cry inconsolably. So fine, 12 year old, waste your turn for the joy of antagonizing your brother, then 9 year old gets his turn and then both of you must go outside and no one gets any more turns.

Anonymous wrote:Lol, maybe never. My husband and his brother get on each other’s nerves after 15 minutes, and my sister and I haven’t seen each other in 3 years because it’s always a fight—we alternate holidays with my parents since we both have to fly in.

Sorry, OP...that’s the risk of siblings.

Anonymous wrote:If they fight over turns, no one gets The Thing. Basically remove yourself from policing it. If they continue to bicker, they both go spend time alone in their rooms with NO electronics, because you have to work.

I do try to be mindful if the older one is bullying the little one, but I try not to step in. If someone is crying, everyone loses the item. This helps entice the older one to keep the younger one happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the younger sibling is so so annoying - older sister here.

Because the older sibling is so bossy and likes to be a bully at times - younger sister here.

Anonymous wrote:Because the younger sibling is so so annoying - older sister here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them deal with it. Who cares.

OP here. I guess I have a hard time just letting it all go because the older one is smarter/more experienced than the younger one so he has the upper hand always and it doesn't seem fair. If they were equally matched, then sure, go ahead and battle it out, but they aren't. Plus, all that crying and whining gets on my nerves and makes it hard to do my job. Also, I just want them to realize that being nice to each other pays off more than being jerks - seems like a good life lesson that I am clearly not imparting well.