Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

This. Don't say anything judgy. Don't ask questions about their actions. Don't give advice. Don't explain why. Just "we're not ready yet".

Anonymous wrote:Could it be the way you're saying it? We allow TV, our friends don't, and it's never been an issue or even a topic of discussion. Saying, "we don't do TV" and moving on is not the same as saying "we don't do TV, it's so harmful for brain development and has been proven to do X and Y to kids, we really think it's important to maintain our kid's health" is basically saying, "we know you DGAF about your kid's development, but we really value ours".

Anonymous wrote:We have decided to continue social isolation as much as possible. It’s not hard for us since we have a great nanny (who lives alone and only sees us) and I have always worked from home. Without DH’s commute and the gyms closed, he’s also home more. We’re lucky, I know. It seems over the past week, I get a daily call from a friend asking if DS is going to return to a class or for a play date. The first couple times I told the truth and just said we were continuing with strict social distancing and have been met with nearly angry responses. I must be wording it wrong. Please tell me how to respond without eliciting defensive or angry mocking.

Same in normal times when the subject of TV comes up. We don’t let DS watch anything including when his classes went remote (which is why it came up) and not for play dates when we were having them.

Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have decided to continue social isolation as much as possible. It’s not hard for us since we have a great nanny (who lives alone and only sees us) and I have always worked from home. Without DH’s commute and the gyms closed, he’s also home more. We’re lucky, I know. It seems over the past week, I get a daily call from a friend asking if DS is going to return to a class or for a play date. The first couple times I told the truth and just said we were continuing with strict social distancing and have been met with nearly angry responses. I must be wording it wrong. Please tell me how to respond without eliciting defensive or angry mocking.

Same in normal times when the subject of TV comes up. We don’t let DS watch anything including when his classes went remote (which is why it came up) and not for play dates when we were having them.

Thanks.

Honestly - I think you just need to be comfortable with people strongly disagreeing with you and expressing that disagreement. If you're expecting people to just say "oh you're right that's great" then you're not being realistic. If people are saying "that's crazy!" then just say "well, to each his own" and change the subject.

There is no magical way to say something people disagree with and have them not disagree.

Now if people are really reacting with strong anger (yelling at you, cursing, calling you stupid) then your issue is that the people you're talking to are jerks, and you should downgrade those relationships accordingly. But I think this post would be very different if that's what was going on.

Just out of curiosity - were you fairly popular (or at least well liked) throughout middle and high school? I find this kind of attitude is common among adults who were always popular growing up. They just never got comfortable doing things and being judged negatively for them. While people who went through a period of everyone mocking them for whatever stupid stuff middle schoolers care about (myself included!) tend to be more comfortable being out of the mainstream as adults. It's a theory - could be wrong though, doesn't change my answer.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, come up with a couple of good lies. Friends and even random people on the internet who question your choices you made in the best interest of your family don't really deserve the truth.

Anonymous wrote:We have decided to continue social isolation as much as possible. It’s not hard for us since we have a great nanny (who lives alone and only sees us) and I have always worked from home. Without DH’s commute and the gyms closed, he’s also home more. We’re lucky, I know. It seems over the past week, I get a daily call from a friend asking if DS is going to return to a class or for a play date. The first couple times I told the truth and just said we were continuing with strict social distancing and have been met with nearly angry responses. I must be wording it wrong. Please tell me how to respond without eliciting defensive or angry mocking.

Same in normal times when the subject of TV comes up. We don’t let DS watch anything including when his classes went remote (which is why it came up) and not for play dates when we were having them.

Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:I would just say - “thanks so much for checking in - I hope you guys are doing great - we miss you. I’m still feeling nervous about things & we aren’t ready for get togethers yet, but I’ll call you when we are.”
If I had to guess, you’re probably coming off as holier than thou in your responses. So work on that if you can.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, come up with a couple of good lies. Friends and even random people on the internet who question your choices you made in the best interest of your family don't really deserve the truth.