OP os not saying she plans to tell BFF’s husband to be - she is saying she wants to advise BFF not to tell but is seeking input on whether that is the right decision.

I’m in the camp that spouses should be able to share everything about themselves, but I recognize this isn’t always possible.

Anonymous wrote:I would never be involved with any guy who wasn’t completely 100% pro choice. So I would tell, because I know my spouse would be supportive. But it’s her life and her call.

Same here. I could not be with a religious or conservative man - it wouldn’t work.

If he’s ever in a doctor’s appt with her when she has to go through her history, he’s going to find out. Better to be upfront about it.

I would never be involved with any guy who wasn’t completely 100% pro choice. So I would tell, because I know my spouse would be supportive. But it’s her life and her call.

I think it's ok to offer your opinion. And to say, "I support you in whatever you do."

This is a tough one. I don't personally think it's any of his business what happened 17 years ago, long before she met him. But if there is any chance at all that he might find out, like if it could result in complications for a pregnancy down the line, it's probably better to tell him. If he has strong negative feelings about people who have had abortions, that might be something she'd want to know.

If she wants to disclose this to her husband, do not get in the way. It’s her burden to carry and either share or keep to herself.

Don’t interfere.

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know whether a woman I was seriously dating had had an abortion, even if she had had it over a decade ago.

It wouldn't be your $%#ing business.

Anonymous wrote:Was it his baby? Why would he care?

Wow. Just wow.

I would want to know whether a woman I was seriously dating had had an abortion, even if she had had it over a decade ago.

Support your friend in making whatever decisions are right for her.

Period.

In other words- butt out.

1. Mind your own f'ing business.
2. If he dumps her because of this he's an a-hole and good riddance.

Firstly, I wouldn't marry a guy who would judge me negatively for having gotten an abortion.

Secondly, I would tell him simply because ... that's just me.

Thirdly, if your friend doesn't think her fiance will take it as "I'm sorry you were in a position to have to make that decision" then she shouldn't be marrying him, but that's not your place.

Fourthly, stay out of it. If she decides to bury this secret OR tell him, you should just be supportive of her.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not your story to tell. It’s hers.

This.

This is someone writing fan fiction who hasn't thought it through very well. Bored DCUMers

Was it his baby? Why would he care?