Anonymous wrote:i would not be ok with this.

+1

And I have to say, staring down the road to divorce/co-parenting myself, this is extremely discouraging. I can absolutely see my STBXH doing the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ugh, I would hate that. Not only the boyfriend but the hotel in pandemic times. Your ex has a high risk tolerance, doesn’t she?
Sorry, OP, I would just refuse point blank.

She has done this before with another ex bf and his 2 kids, all 6 of them in one room. Pretty awkward and inconvenient.

Another thing that bothered me a little is that this new bf is in US since last 3 years and became a US citizen recently. His ex wife and kids are in Middle East so he has no accountability to behave properly in US. May be I am overthinking this but the thought of it scares me too.

I seriously doubt this guy is divorced.

Anonymous wrote:
Ugh, I would hate that. Not only the boyfriend but the hotel in pandemic times. Your ex has a high risk tolerance, doesn’t she?
Sorry, OP, I would just refuse point blank.

She has done this before with another ex bf and his 2 kids, all 6 of them in one room. Pretty awkward and inconvenient.

Another thing that bothered me a little is that this new bf is in US since last 3 years and became a US citizen recently. His ex wife and kids are in Middle East so he has no accountability to behave properly in US. May be I am overthinking this but the thought of it scares me too.

It shows poor judgement on your ex’s behalf, but I’m not sure there’s anything you can do to stop it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

So you have evidence to corroborate that, right?

OP, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be taking the kids. Does she have low self esteem? I would try to reason with her again and offer to keep the kids. But it sounds like this man is already around your children, unfortunately.

Yes, she could have a low self esteem. She’s been like this in all of her relationships that I know of. One of her biggest insecurities is not finding a man and being alone. She has also mentioned to my 8 yo daughter that “no one wants to be alone”. I don’t think kids should be told such a thing that being a relationship is a must needed regardless of how it is.

He has been around a couple of times before for small amount of time such as dinners or parties but straight being with kids for 5-6 days is an overload for a person that they don’t know very well.

I hope she listens to you and understands that it's better to leave the kids with you if she goes on this trip. I understand wanting to have someone in your life, but I agree that it's too soon to subject the kids to this.

My mom used to do this to me and my sister when we were young. She dated a guy for years (he actually lived with us) who didn't like us at all. We just tagged along whereever they went. I really liked when she would leave us with our grandmother.

Ugh, I would hate that. Not only the boyfriend but the hotel in pandemic times. Your ex has a high risk tolerance, doesn’t she?
Sorry, OP, I would just refuse point blank.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

So you have evidence to corroborate that, right?

OP, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be taking the kids. Does she have low self esteem? I would try to reason with her again and offer to keep the kids. But it sounds like this man is already around your children, unfortunately.

Yes, she could have a low self esteem. She’s been like this in all of her relationships that I know of. One of her biggest insecurities is not finding a man and being alone. She has also mentioned to my 8 yo daughter that “no one wants to be alone”. I don’t think kids should be told such a thing that being a relationship is a must needed regardless of how it is.

He has been around a couple of times before for small amount of time such as dinners or parties but straight being with kids for 5-6 days is an overload for a person that they don’t know very well.

The kids' discomfort is what makes the difference. I personally would go nuclear over the molestation possibility. Molesters are very skillful at positioning themselves into relationships that create these kinds of opportunities. No, no, no! I would do whatever it took to prevent her from taking them, relationship be damned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

So you have evidence to corroborate that, right?

OP, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be taking the kids. Does she have low self esteem? I would try to reason with her again and offer to keep the kids. But it sounds like this man is already around your children, unfortunately.

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

My ex took my kids away for the weekend to some
Tiny house place with some new whore he met on bumble 8 days prior. Her three kids went too.

The kids hate her and don’t respect him. We were separated not divorced yet so our divorce agreement didn’t speak to it as we didn’t have one.

They should not be meeting people either if you are dating until you are practically engaged. They don’t needs a revolving door. It confuses them , and exposes them to repeated loss

Op here! Yes, she doesn’t have any concern about sexual abuse etc for the kids. She doesn’t think that her bf is like that she knew for 4-5 months. In my opinion, no one knows what could happen beforehand and that’s why as a parent we have to do the right thing to protect our kids.

She did acknowledge last year in writing that it was wrong for her to take kids on a beach trip with her previous bf but doing that again now so I don’t get it.

I could talk to the lawyer, but Ofcourse that could turn things ugly. I always try to improve on our relationship as a co-parent for kids best interest but she does whatever she pleases.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your separation agreement cover overnight trips?

+1 if it does not, you have no say. It doesn’t matter what you find appropriate.

Unfortunately this! People should get this in writing when they get divorced. DH and I have both discussed this in the context of friends/acquaintances who are divorced and dealing with these issues and we are in full agreement. But unfortunately a lot of people get blinded by “love” and don’t put the kids’ needs first when they find a new partner about whom they are really excited.

Talk to your attorney and ask what options might be available. I would.