Are all the hours during the week or will it bleed into weekends? Also, will your spouse help out with social stuff?

I have a normal 40 hr per week job, 3 kids 6 and under and DH works all the time. I do all the social planning and coordination, a lot with the other mothers. We have a great network/community and pre-Covid had packed weekends with several social activities. DH usually only attended 1 or 2 of these activities because he typically works 8-12 hrs on weekends, so needs chunks of time to work. I think if you have a job where you contain your work to weekends you could maintain a social life, but you will need to figure out who does the “planning.”

I usually see friends 2-3 times a month for dinner, a monthly moms group, plus usually 2 monthly committee meetings (not really "social" but sorta). Plus family get togethers with in laws/ extended family, etc. at least 2-3 times/month.

Falling asleep during Outlander. That's a good summary of my "social life."

Party after work with our neighbors who have kids that are a similar age

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol social life.

Ha! This.

+1. With kids you get demanding job or great social life. Not both

We have friends and see family but all social events revolve around kids, anything I do not with kids is for work. (I am happy with job as my choice on the spectrum.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP - and no social life (law firm partner). How many hours a week? If you work more than 60, no. How much travel involved?

What’s an AP? Isn’t that an affair? Or is au pair?

60-75 hrs a week and 25 percent travel

I would never take that job with little kids if you want any kind of work life balance. I had a job like that, switched to something closer to 40hr/Wk and am SO much happier

Pre-Covid, I would go out with friends for dinner or drinks one night a week. Always after bedtime (kids go down at 6 and 7, so I would leave after the 6. My husband would do the 7). One night a week we have a babysitter for date night. One night a week I'd go to a workout class/or on Saturday morning. The issue isn't working, but having a partner who you share the load with. If I really wanted to go to something at 5, my husband will gladly pick up from daycare, make dinner, and put them both to bed. I would return the favor by doing the same for him, but we don't keep track since that feels less like a partnership and more like score keeping. On weekends we each get an hour for working out, and then one morning to sleep in till 9. If I wanted to use my sleep in time (~3 hours) to go out with a friend during the day on Saturday, I could do that but would try and go during the kid nap/quiet time window. I have a friend whose husband has not yet put their kids to bed independently. If you have a man child for a spouse, you will be exhausted with a FT job. You also won't be able to see as many people for play dates, you only have two weekend days and most working moms I know like to have some weekend time at home to prep for the week. Post Covid, I'm effing tired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP - and no social life (law firm partner). How many hours a week? If you work more than 60, no. How much travel involved?

What’s an AP? Isn’t that an affair? Or is au pair?

60-75 hrs a week and 25 percent travel

Ha! If I were having an affair I would have a social life. I have an au pair, my schedule is about 80 hours a week, in normal times 30 percent travel. Having an au pair means I can take my kid with me on trips, which has worked out well.

FT WOHM with 4yo and infant When things are normal (pre-COVID)? No social life. My closest friends are all out of state, so I text them frequently, bit we are unable to get together due to distance. We end up at a birthday party for one of 4yo DD's friends about once every 2 months.
It is depressing, and I hate it, even though I am very much an introvert.

We do boardgames nights after bedtime (I am the first in my friend group to have a kid, so our friends are nice and come to us most of the time). We also have a great babysitter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP - and no social life (law firm partner). How many hours a week? If you work more than 60, no. How much travel involved?

What’s an AP? Isn’t that an affair? Or is au pair?

60-75 hrs a week and 25 percent travel

Travel is when things return to normal. ***Not in this moment but the expectation is I will travel

NP I have always been FT WOHM but I would never take a role like that. Not because of a lack of social life but because I would miss my kids!

I don’t want to use this moment as a good example. But working part time pre covid, I do a girls night about once a week with friends, a few play dates with friends and their kids, and group fitness with friends 3 days a week so I would miss that social interaction. I would be Working from Home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP - and no social life (law firm partner). How many hours a week? If you work more than 60, no. How much travel involved?

What’s an AP? Isn’t that an affair? Or is au pair?

60-75 hrs a week and 25 percent travel

Travel is when things return to normal. ***Not in this moment but the expectation is I will travel

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP - and no social life (law firm partner). How many hours a week? If you work more than 60, no. How much travel involved?

What’s an AP? Isn’t that an affair? Or is au pair?

60-75 hrs a week and 25 percent travel

I don’t understand the question.



Jokes aside..,My social life consists entirely of texting. By the time we’ve done all the commuting and end of day stuff with kid, I’m spent. I work Sundays and Saturdays I stick close to home. I guess I’m making a choice to rest more often than go see friends. We don’t live close enough to anyone for casual get togethers.