Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly will not be giving her MIL any “World’s Best Grandma” mugs anytime soon.

If that’s what FIL wants, OP can give one to her MIL and also to her mom. It’s just an expression. I think Op is being too literal here. Unless all the other maternal grandmothers are in the room and being snubbed, I can’t see why op is offended. I’m sure the kids know that both their grandmas are the “best.”

Except that it appears that her mom isn’t Grandma, she’s Grandmom or Granny or something.

If her mom is there she can just say my kids are so lucky they have the best Granny and the best Grandma!

I’ll be an outlier. I think it’s super weird. It would irritate me but I don’t know how you address it without seeming petty.

OP here. It's done In a toast format, every.single.time. I feel funny raising my glass and nodding along and knowing my own mother is alive, well and also is a pretty kick @ss granny.

My MIL gave a toast at our child's christening to her OTHER son, the one who lives in her basement and isn't married. She made everyone raise their glasses and toast my husband's brother who was the best and her number one son. THis kind of behavior is bizarre. And anyone who intentionally stokes competition between family members needs to have their head examined. Not everything is a competition for God's sake. Chill out!

Given that OP titled this "FIL refers to wife...." I'm guessing this isn't her DH's mother. Perhaps (probably?) a somewhat recent marriage long after DH had moved out of the house. Guessing there are some raw wounds.

What protests and corona are not enough drama for you? Now you have to invent something that is actually pretty sweet? He is saying something nice about his wife. Trust me, it is not them, it is you!

I am trying my best to understand the problem with this loving supportive man.

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly will not be giving her MIL any “World’s Best Grandma” mugs anytime soon.

If that’s what FIL wants, OP can give one to her MIL and also to her mom. It’s just an expression. I think Op is being too literal here. Unless all the other maternal grandmothers are in the room and being snubbed, I can’t see why op is offended. I’m sure the kids know that both their grandmas are the “best.”

OP clearly will not be giving her MIL any “World’s Best Grandma” mugs anytime soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. At family events he makes a splash over wife and asks she be acknowledged as "the best grandma ever."

His grandkids have other maternal grandmothers, that go by slightly different yet highly similar names. I feel that if I were to say anything it would be noted that "oh he used her title, the other grandmothers so by these slightly different names."

It seems weird and offensive to me....should I chill out? How to handle?

What does the bolded mean? What is he asking for you to do? Unless he does outrageous things (which I doubt, or you would have said) I suspect you just don't like that he says this, but it is fine. So what? Your kids are not going to forget about your mom and they will likely have their favorites, regardless of what is said. At any rate, there doesn't even need to be just one 'best.' I tell both my kids that they are the best kids ever. As far as I'm concerned, they both share that title. I give one a hug and say, "You are the best!" and then I turn and give the other a hug and say the exact same thing.

This is the answer!

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a narcissist and your FIL is her enabler. Let him carry on, its clearly his life's work. When he dies everyone will ignore her as she won't have her cavalry any more.

It's not that serious.

Maybe he is trying to compliment her on being a good grandma. It’s not about the kids other grandmas, but merely a compliment from FIL to MIL. Why do you think it’s a comparison?

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the problem.

This. A million times this.

Op, you are way overreacting.

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. At family events he makes a splash over wife and asks she be acknowledged as "the best grandma ever."

His grandkids have other maternal grandmothers, that go by slightly different yet highly similar names. I feel that if I were to say anything it would be noted that "oh he used her title, the other grandmothers so by these slightly different names."

It seems weird and offensive to me....should I chill out? How to handle?

What does the bolded mean? What is he asking for you to do? Unless he does outrageous things (which I doubt, or you would have said) I suspect you just don't like that he says this, but it is fine. So what? Your kids are not going to forget about your mom and they will likely have their favorites, regardless of what is said. At any rate, there doesn't even need to be just one 'best.' I tell both my kids that they are the best kids ever. As far as I'm concerned, they both share that title. I give one a hug and say, "You are the best!" and then I turn and give the other a hug and say the exact same thing.

Meh. I would just smile and say “Hi Grandma!”

Let FIL go on and on about how she’s the best grandma EVER. If he asks you to call her that, you smile and say “okay, sure!” and keep calling we grandma. Done.