She's an employee, not an indentured servant. You can't control what someone else does outside of work hours. It's completely absurd to expect to someone to not see their friends and family for months and months indefinitely. Your only option is find someone who is financially desperate enough that they will accept accept 24/7 isolation as a condition of their employment. And yes, in such a situation, you should pay the nanny for the hours that you expect them to be in isolation.

You need to find a nanny who, at least, says she’s on the same page regarding COVID protocols as you are.

I'm surprised all of you think a live-in nanny situation is a total solution. I mean, the live-in nanny is still free to.... visit her sister when she isn't working?

Sorry OP. Your nanny is a free person who is engaging in perfectly legal activity. If you aren't comfortable with it, you can find a new nanny or do what millions of others are doing, taking care of their kids while working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a live-in nanny, and pay her to quarantine with you.

This is the only real solution, but you have to have separate space for her.

Not necessarily. I’m willing to have a private bedroom in the same area as the family and share a bath, but I expect an increase in pay for my flexibility.

Tough OP. Our weekly live-in housekeeper/cook moved in during the lockdown. We gave her the option to leave with full pay for 3 months plus 3 weeks paid vacation if she did not want to shelter with us. She was due to travel to her home country for 3 weeks just as the lockdown hit but she had to cancel the trip. She decided to stay and work and take her vacation after the lockdown which we then thought might be a couple of months.
As things started ease she wanted to start going home every weekend again where she has a landlady whose family, she says, visits regularly, visit a friend with a new baby, her family etc. She insisted she would be be careful but after listing all the things she wanted to do I just was not comfortable but I could not stop her so I said as much and that unfortunately it would be best if we parted ways under the same terms we had suggested before the lockdown. The thought of worrying about what she was up to while away was just too stressful but I didn’t feel right imposing my risk comfort on her.
After about a week she said she would like to take her 3 weeks of vacation and return afterwards. It could have been her way of saying she could not accept my terms of SIP any longer but needed a while to look for another more flexible position or she really does want to come back. I told her to call me to discuss before she comes back.
She’s been gone 1.5 weeks and I’m pretty sure I will not have her back at this point with the way things are trending with the virus.
Just too risky for us.
We will have to wait until after the virus is under control to get another housekeeper.

I haven’t cooked or done housework for as long as I can remember so it’s hard but I don’t work so I’m just about coping.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a risk you take, you can’t control your nanny. My friend’s entire family is currently stricken with covid including her two feverish babies thanks to the nanny. Turns out the nanny over the weekend attended the funeral of a covid victim and then came back to work sick. Infected the entire family even though she was wearing a mask.

Oh my God. Did your friend know the nanny was going to this funeral? My God, how could the nanny have been so stupid?! (And I am a nanny!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are so lucky. Our nanny’s father is a doctor and she is far more careful than we are. She maintains very strict social distancing and isolation when she isn’t with us. And she made it clear she expects us to do the same (we do).

We had a long talk about it in the beginning of the pandemic and will have another as things open up. It has to be a consensus.

Seems the two bolded ideas don't jive.

NP here and it does “jive” for me. While we are all cautious, our nanny goes above and beyond to keep DS safe. While DH and I will move the stroller as far right as possible on the sidewalk when walkers are approaching our nanny will actually ask people to please step back.

And everyone complies? What would she do if they kept walking (as they have EVERY right to do?)

Everyone complies! You don’t know our nanny!

Anonymous wrote:Get a live-in nanny, and pay her to quarantine with you.

This is the only real solution, but you have to have separate space for her.

Are you or your children high risk? Do you regularly come in contact with high risk people that you need to protect? If not, I don't see the big deal if she's wearing a mask and not, as you say, "being an idiot and going to parties." In a couple of weeks, things will open up again legally and you won't have any real reason to ask her not to see people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a risk you take, you can’t control your nanny. My friend’s entire family is currently stricken with covid including her two feverish babies thanks to the nanny. Turns out the nanny over the weekend attended the funeral of a covid victim and then came back to work sick. Infected the entire family even though she was wearing a mask.

I am not sure this is real. And if it is, that’s still different from small gatherings of asymptomatic people.

When would you be comfortable with your nanny seeing her family? That’s the problem - it’s a risk but you can’t expect to avoid seeing them for 18 months or however long a vaccine takes (or never). Seems like now is as good a time as any to accept this. And re-assess as needed if there is a second wave in the fall/winter.

It’s absolutely real. I check in with my friend everyday to make sure she is ok. I wish I was making it up. Everything is a risk unless you completely isolate yourself. If you need childcare a nanny is less risk than a group setting. It’s good to have open communication with your nanny to see where she is at. My friend’s situation has not deterred me from keeping on my own nanny.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a risk you take, you can’t control your nanny. My friend’s entire family is currently stricken with covid including her two feverish babies thanks to the nanny. Turns out the nanny over the weekend attended the funeral of a covid victim and then came back to work sick. Infected the entire family even though she was wearing a mask.

I am not sure this is real. And if it is, that’s still different from small gatherings of asymptomatic people.

When would you be comfortable with your nanny seeing her family? That’s the problem - it’s a risk but you can’t expect to avoid seeing them for 18 months or however long a vaccine takes (or never). Seems like now is as good a time as any to accept this. And re-assess as needed if there is a second wave in the fall/winter.

Get a live-in nanny, and pay her to quarantine with you.

It’s a risk you take, you can’t control your nanny. My friend’s entire family is currently stricken with covid including her two feverish babies thanks to the nanny. Turns out the nanny over the weekend attended the funeral of a covid victim and then came back to work sick. Infected the entire family even though she was wearing a mask.

Anonymous wrote:They will be unwilling to be controlled. They may stay silent, as you read your rules to them, but they will not agree that this is something you have power over.

Exactly. You May control only your own behavior.

Anonymous wrote:Would you allow your nanny to dictate what she was comfortable with you doing, if the situation was reversed? I think you're probably going to have to step back here unless you want to pay her to stay in isolation 24/7. Having a non live-in nanny is a risk you've chosen to take. That risk comes with the reality that your nanny is a free human being and she may do things in her off time that you wouldn't do. If you don't like that risk, you can fire her and hire someone new, but the reality remains that you can't control people outside of your household, and any employee you hire will have the freedom to do as they please in their off time.

This.