Anonymous wrote:The five year old child has serious problems.

Agree and I’d never have my kid around him again.

Anonymous wrote:When we were little, my cousin (boy) woudl ask me (girl) to show him my private parts if he showed me his. No touching and I don’t remember if we did show... I remember playing “doctor” with my neighbor girl. We were giving each other shots on our butts... I don’t think it was sexual

So, you’d be ok with your three year old daughter playing doctor like this with another kid? What if he then stuck his finger in her butthole? Still ok? What about her vagina? Where’s your line?

I ask because your scenario is “milder” than what OP posted about, so it’s not helpful OP’s issue unless we know where you draw the line.

The five year old child has serious problems.

By age 3 or definitely by age 5, kids should have had the private parts talk right? Don't touch anyone else's privates and don't touch or show yours in front of others is basic parenting 101

I’d be livid that that kid was close enough to my kid to stick a finger up his butt. But I guess you don’t care about that part?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play regularly with our neighbor's kids. For the most part they all get along very well. Today their often wild, probably undiagnosed ADHD, 5 year old son pulled down my 3 year old son's pants and appeared to try and stick his finger up his butt. My son was clearly upset, both sets of parents were around and separated the kids, 5 year old got a time out.

I asked my son later about it and he confirmed that the little boy did put his finger in his bottom. I talked about inappropriate touching with my son, but don't know what to do now. Is this normal? Is this boy being abused? Do I talk to the parents? Should I bring it up with him to see what he says about it? Should I not let them play together? Help, I'm totally freaked out!

Definitely don't let them play together. And don't leave your son alone with the adult neighbors either. Wait a few days and see if your son is ok. Don't freak out in front of him bc he'll take his cues from you but don't dismiss his feelings either.

This. Absolutely do NOT allow your child to be victimized again by the older boy. Just think how we’d be even MORE outraged if your three year old was a girl. Yes, your child was raped, OP. There’s nothing “normal” about rape. NOTHING. And just to say the obvious, your child was not his first victim.

When we were little, my cousin (boy) woudl ask me (girl) to show him my private parts if he showed me his. No touching and I don’t remember if we did show... I remember playing “doctor” with my neighbor girl. We were giving each other shots on our butts... I don’t think it was sexual

The fact that people jump right to sexual abuse is crazy. 5 year olds think butts are funny. Butts have holes in them. Kids try to stick things -- especially fingers -- in holes. If he tried to stick his penis in your son's butt, I would obviously be very concerned. But a finger? And in front of a bunch of people as part of a game? That is not indicative of sexual abuse.

I would follow your son's lead. If he's happy to play with the kid again, let him. Just supervise. If he's not, don't push it until he is. Don't traumatize your kid, but make it clear you're taking his upset/concern seriously. If this was a one time event where parents jumped in immediately... the chances are your son will forget about it by next week unless you make it a huge deal.

Playing doctor. Rectal temperature taking.