Anonymous
05/25/2020 16:39
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Ugh, these folks are so jealous they can't help themselves. They would love to be an 8-10, even though many people on DCUM don't consider that "skinny," to them, that is definitely a "skinny bitch who can eat whatever she wants."
Some of my friends like to pick on me for what I order at restaurants. Meanwhile, they go out to eat 3 to 4 times more than I do any given month. I very, very rarely eat at a restaurant. So when I do, you bet I am going to enjoy steak, or a Mexican combo, or a wood-fired pizza.
What they also fail to notice is that I very rarely finish my entree. I have no qualms about asking for a to-go container. Or, if the food isn't outstanding, I have no qualms about leaving it behind. I'll see a burger and fries again, so I don't feel the need to eat all of it if I'm not that hungry or it's not that good.
Just keep doing what you are doing. Try a subject change, then directly tell them that you are happy for them, but you aren't interested in any advice. And if they still push, end the call or leave.
Some of my friends like to pick on me for what I order at restaurants. Meanwhile, they go out to eat 3 to 4 times more than I do any given month. I very, very rarely eat at a restaurant. So when I do, you bet I am going to enjoy steak, or a Mexican combo, or a wood-fired pizza.
What they also fail to notice is that I very rarely finish my entree. I have no qualms about asking for a to-go container. Or, if the food isn't outstanding, I have no qualms about leaving it behind. I'll see a burger and fries again, so I don't feel the need to eat all of it if I'm not that hungry or it's not that good.
Just keep doing what you are doing. Try a subject change, then directly tell them that you are happy for them, but you aren't interested in any advice. And if they still push, end the call or leave.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 22:59
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They are jealous of you, and are taking it out on your he taquitos.
Maybe some of that. But I think they're more just completely caught up in the ugliness that is program/recovery culture. Thinking about it makes me cringe every time someone rushes into a thread here to recommend AA and it's various branches. The program the program the program. I'm sorry OP, they sound especially enmeshed.
Equating WW with AA is pretty poor judgement. Alcoholism destroys families and kills people, hence the intensity of some people's participation in AA as a person rogram that they perceive as literally saving their lives, marriages, jobs.
WW does work but as a program doesn't expect (or deserve) the kind of intensity that many need to have to stick to AA. Weight issues are real and can be serious health problems but unlike alcoholism they do not put others--spouses, kids, coworkers, other drivers unwittingly on the road with a drunk driver--at ongoing risk of physical harm. See the difference? And why it's not a good comparison between a program that helps people lose weight and one that helps people fight a serious disease that can mean they harm others?
That said, I agree with OP that the focus on WW is way overdone with her relatives. OP, you can't change them but maybe in time if they get zero response they'll start dropping this with you. Of course never have any mealtime video chats again--did they suggest the "eating together" theme for the one you had? I'd start being too busy to do any chats at mealtimes and would confine those to times between meals. Always have a topic to turn to; when they start on WW, do acknowledge things ("I lost two pounds!" "Hey, good for you") but then move right on to something new to which they really have to respond, like, "Did you see (favorite show) last night? I thought of you when X said Y--remember when we..." Distract, deflect, change topics. Arguing with them will only make them worse so deprive them of oxygen by not engaging on the topic except to make short supportive "congrats."
.
It isn't poor judgment lol, just a difference in opinion. ("See the difference"? is pretty patronizing, btw. I'm not a child.) I'm very familiar with how alcoholism as well as weight/related issues impacts both individuals and families. Very. The fact that you used my post to post such a long, intense response defending AA just demonstrates my point. Members of these groups can be relentless, just like the people OP posted about. Probably best to avoid if they won't back off.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 22:21
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
OP, it is too much togetherness. People get on each other's nerves when there is too much togetherness. That's it, that's all. If this were a friend, you'd rethink the amount of time you're together. If the relationship was a strain, you would take that as an indication that you need some space from each other. That's your answer.
-and also, if it's still a problem, you still are having to put up with too much... say something. What would you say to a friend? You'd say how it's really becoming a strain and the two of you need to focus your talks on other things. Say it.
-and also, if it's still a problem, you still are having to put up with too much... say something. What would you say to a friend? You'd say how it's really becoming a strain and the two of you need to focus your talks on other things. Say it.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 22:02
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:Who wants to watch other people eat on Zoom are you kidding me. Gross
+1
LoL Troll score: 4 out of 10
First, no one does this. Secondly, I did WW years ago and I don't recall the term "on program" being used much. I think they use the word "plan" more. I do hear bodybuilders use the term, but I digress. Thirdly, no way are three life-long fatties this psyched up about WW during a quarantine.
On the off chance this is real, don't worry OP. They'll shut their pie holes (or should I say open them?) once WW goes out of business.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 17:57
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Who wants to watch other people eat on Zoom are you kidding me. Gross
Anonymous
05/24/2020 17:39
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:I personally think you contributed to the issue by going on zoom with a “treat” in front of them. You know they are on a diet and yet you flaunt heavy Mexican food and a Margarita in their face. That was pretty insensitive. Personally, since it’s working for them and you want to see them healthier and you presumably care about these ladies, I’d just ignore and nod my head.
Get over yourself.
They wanted the "dinner Zoom," and everyone got takeout. My food was in a container, and the margarita was even in an opaque cup. They ASKED what I was eating, and I simply said "taquitos and a marg," I didn't list the full she-bang.
I didn't ask what anyone else was eating, nor did I care. And yet be assured I got a blow by blow and a full analysis of who was eating once, and how many points they had saved up for it, and blah blah BLAH.
Asked and answered.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 17:32
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:I personally think you contributed to the issue by going on zoom with a “treat” in front of them. You know they are on a diet and yet you flaunt heavy Mexican food and a Margarita in their face. That was pretty insensitive. Personally, since it’s working for them and you want to see them healthier and you presumably care about these ladies, I’d just ignore and nod my head.
What? This is insane. Sounds like you deal with weight issues of your own?
Anonymous
05/24/2020 16:24
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
I get it OP, it’s like they are drinking the Kool-aid. These kinds of conversations will slow down, probably when one of them starts regaining. It’s difficult to have EVERY conversation about recipes, weight loss, etc.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 16:21
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:I personally think you contributed to the issue by going on zoom with a “treat” in front of them. You know they are on a diet and yet you flaunt heavy Mexican food and a Margarita in their face. That was pretty insensitive. Personally, since it’s working for them and you want to see them healthier and you presumably care about these ladies, I’d just ignore and nod my head.
This-they sound annoying but I have to wonder if you were instigating something by purposely eating heavy Mexican food on a Zoom call with them knowing this is who they are right now.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 16:04
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the subject change, followed by the direct and simple ask to leave you alone about weight-related issues.
If they persist:
"Yes, the nice thing about being and maintaining a healthy weight is that sometimes you can have taquitos, and it's no big deal."
"Yes, the nice thing about being and maintaining a healthy weight is that sometimes you can have brownies."
+1. And it if persists, hang up.
Anonymous
05/24/2020 15:57
Subject: 'On-program' relatives love to preach
I personally think you contributed to the issue by going on zoom with a “treat” in front of them. You know they are on a diet and yet you flaunt heavy Mexican food and a Margarita in their face. That was pretty insensitive. Personally, since it’s working for them and you want to see them healthier and you presumably care about these ladies, I’d just ignore and nod my head.