Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 15:30     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Anonymous wrote:My 4 year old, high function autism & highly chance of adhd,Alcan concentrate well on certain tasks for long time. He rarely gets angry/never hit, and he recovers from sadness/angry/upset in minutes by himself. He recovers by going up to his room to feel sad for minutes, or he does things to make himself happy in minutes. Therapist says those are good solid skills that he was naturally born with to cope with those negative emotions. He has his challenge which are he gets hyper (due to screentime, fun & silly games, playground etc) so easily, then he will does silly things or say silly words. He also gets emotional easily, but his emotions are come & go, no big deal. He does well in daycare settings. His OT therapist has been teaching him to do yoga poses to calm him down (due to his wiggling, not listening & impulsive behavior). He can be a calm boy all day, and he can be a roller coastal emotional boy sometimes. However, he is never aggressive, just his impulsive behavors sometimes gets to decide his emotions. His autism behavior is really mild.


There are some kids with autism and little behavior or aggression. Great for those kids. But unfortunately aggression does occur in adhd and autism but not ALL cases. It’s a percentage and lots of research on this. Like myself many of those parents are not just letting them get away with it as it’s neurological. I’m pp poster who does ABA 20 hours, there are consequences and swift. One have one my stepson with autism just like you described and he was always calm. Our son though is definitely aggressive and even bit as a child. The calm was was very creative. My son is not and more rigid analytical. Adhd and autism are not all the same. Just want to clear up that there is undisputed aggression in some kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 15:23     Subject: Re:If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
OP here. Thanks all for the helpful suggestions. Feel better that some parents have been thru such challenges and gotten thru this or found a diagnosis to understand why. We will try more time in and hugging instead of time outs to see if it works.

His behavior is only at home with us. No issues in preschool in the past or K this year. Overall, he is a really happy and smart kid expect for blowing up like this.

I will also schedule an appointment with his pediatrician to discuss issues and his thoughts about ADHD or underlying diagnosis to explain this.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 14:00     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
ADHD can definitely manifest as a lack of emotional regulation. My kid wasn't a hitter, but his emotional control is off for his age and always was. However, he can read for hours and is doing great with distance learning. His ADHD is definitely more of the heightened emotionality and impulsive reactions variety.

My son is almost 10 now, but it's taken me this long, and a significant amount of therapy to figure out how to discipline him effectively. I did read Kazdin when he was 5, and it was helpful, but a therapist is a good idea here. You can start with a therapist to help you parent differently which will work much better than telehealth with a kid that age.

So no judgment OP, kids like yours require a highly structured approach. It's not like disciplining a typical child.

The good news is that I've got this down now so my younger kid (soon to be kids) are growing up with much stricter expectations and this should pay dividends in the future!
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 13:55     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo DD is like this. She has a very bad temper, and overall very strong emotions. We give her time outs for hitting and have tried bigger consequences—we even took away all her toys and made her earn them back one by one—but she continues to act aggressively when she is very angry. Luckily this only happens in the home for the most part, although there were a few temper episodes in preschool. As others have said, sleep is key. But I also think age and maturity will help with emotional control, which just isn’t far enough along yet at this age. We have no ADD in our family, and this is a emotional regulation issue, not an attention issue, so I don’t really see the relevance here.


Part of ADHD is difficulty with impulse control, not just attention, that's how it can be related. Not that it necessarily is in this case. Just something to be aware of.


There are a subset of kids with ADHD who have great difficulty with emotional regulation. Often it’s the same kids who are highly sensory-seeking (always wanting to rough-house, for example) which also sounds a lot like what OP described. My son, who was recently diagnosed, fits this profile to a T.

https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-emotional-regulation-video/amp/
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 13:51     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
My 4 year old, high function autism & highly chance of adhd,Alcan concentrate well on certain tasks for long time. He rarely gets angry/never hit, and he recovers from sadness/angry/upset in minutes by himself. He recovers by going up to his room to feel sad for minutes, or he does things to make himself happy in minutes. Therapist says those are good solid skills that he was naturally born with to cope with those negative emotions. He has his challenge which are he gets hyper (due to screentime, fun & silly games, playground etc) so easily, then he will does silly things or say silly words. He also gets emotional easily, but his emotions are come & go, no big deal. He does well in daycare settings. His OT therapist has been teaching him to do yoga poses to calm him down (due to his wiggling, not listening & impulsive behavior). He can be a calm boy all day, and he can be a roller coastal emotional boy sometimes. However, he is never aggressive, just his impulsive behavors sometimes gets to decide his emotions. His autism behavior is really mild.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 13:36     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo DD is like this. She has a very bad temper, and overall very strong emotions. We give her time outs for hitting and have tried bigger consequences—we even took away all her toys and made her earn them back one by one—but she continues to act aggressively when she is very angry. Luckily this only happens in the home for the most part, although there were a few temper episodes in preschool. As others have said, sleep is key. But I also think age and maturity will help with emotional control, which just isn’t far enough along yet at this age. We have no ADD in our family, and this is a emotional regulation issue, not an attention issue, so I don’t really see the relevance here.


Part of ADHD is difficulty with impulse control, not just attention, that's how it can be related. Not that it necessarily is in this case. Just something to be aware of.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 13:02     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Op if my 5 yo kid did hit me I’d throw away the whole stack of cardboard right there. Your child acts that way because the consequences are acceptable to him. My child has a bunch of special needs and we don’t use those as an excuse for poor behavior.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 11:04     Subject: If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
My 5 yo DD is like this. She has a very bad temper, and overall very strong emotions. We give her time outs for hitting and have tried bigger consequences—we even took away all her toys and made her earn them back one by one—but she continues to act aggressively when she is very angry. Luckily this only happens in the home for the most part, although there were a few temper episodes in preschool. As others have said, sleep is key. But I also think age and maturity will help with emotional control, which just isn’t far enough along yet at this age. We have no ADD in our family, and this is a emotional regulation issue, not an attention issue, so I don’t really see the relevance here.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 10:53     Subject: Re:If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DS took a very long time to stop hitting when he was upset, despite us doing all the things we were supposed with interest consequences, clear expectations, etc.

In retrospect it was part of his difficulty with impulse control that was ultimately diagnosed as ADHD.


OP here. ADHD was not something we thought about because DS can spend 45 minutes working on a puzzle before he is bored or over an hour doing a LEGO set. Are ADHD kids able to focus this long and what age was your DS diagnosed?


ADHD involves difficulty regulating attention not lack of attention. The ability to hyperfocus on something of interest is one of the hallmarks of ADHD.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 10:34     Subject: Re:If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
The irritable behavior could be the lack of vitamins like B12. If you buy a Vit B12 it has to be methylcobalamin; and not the cheap version of it- cyanocobalamin which is in many kids supplements. Also Vit D is very important- get him Vit D3.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2020 10:30     Subject: Re:If you have a 5 year old that gets angry easily and hits....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DS took a very long time to stop hitting when he was upset, despite us doing all the things we were supposed with interest consequences, clear expectations, etc.

In retrospect it was part of his difficulty with impulse control that was ultimately diagnosed as ADHD.


OP here. ADHD was not something we thought about because DS can spend 45 minutes working on a puzzle before he is bored or over an hour doing a LEGO set. Are ADHD kids able to focus this long and what age was your DS diagnosed?


NP. Yes, they are. This is a common misconception. My DD acts similarly, also ADHD.
Ive had Adhd my whole life and never hit one person ever, so it may not be that