Anonymous wrote:I think it makes more sense to ask nanny candidates about what social distancing precautions they are taking. You are assuming a single person will be more isolated, but that may not be the case. Ask the question you really want to an answer to. I also don't think there are any legal issues associated with asking what precautions/exposures any members of their household have.

x1000 Came here to say this. In DC, I believe it's illegal to discriminate based on "family status," so asking whether someone lives alone could be problematic. I don't know what the laws are in MD and VA.

Anonymous wrote:It shouldn’t matter to you whether it’s illegal (like PP said you might technically skate) but it should matter to you that it’s wrong.

I don’t disagree with you on what’s right.

But this is 100% legal. The law exempts employers below a certain size from some laws. That’s just the law.

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Anonymous wrote:That question would violate anti-discrimination laws, but as an employer of only a single employee, I don’t think you’re technically subject to those laws. That said, I think it’s worth considering the purpose of the question and whether that question is a good way to achieve that purpose. If you’re trying to reduce the risk of coronavirus exposure, you might be safer with someone who’s married to a partner who works from home right now than a single person who feels isolated at home alone and therefore is hanging out with groups of friends on the weekend.

Don't be so quick to jump to assumptions. I'm a single person who lives alone, and I'm happy as a clam. I have no desire to hang out with friends.

+1. I am a single nanny who lives alone and I am 100% isolated on weekends and evenings. My employers even do my grocery shopping for me. Yes, it gets lonely but the health of my charge and my pregnant (and wonderful) employer is at stake. It’s a small sacrifice.

This is weird. You two must be introverts and not actively looking for a relationship.

I’m moderately introverted, as are many people (it’s not weird). I’m uncomfortable being the center of attention in huge crowds, but I’m perfectly fine with attending large parties as long as I can decompress later. Although I’m not in a relationship right now, I’m not lonely either, because I talk extensively with family and friends (messenger, text, calls, FaceTime, etc). When everything is back to normal, I’ll be open to finding a relationship again, but I’m happy being by myself as well. It’s not healthy to pin all of your happiness on whether you have a romantic relationship.

Most rational adults are capable of distinguishing wants from needs. Seeing people in person is a want, easily put off.

She needs to live alone but you obviously have a family and presumably one of you is working outside the home?

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Anonymous wrote:That question would violate anti-discrimination laws, but as an employer of only a single employee, I don’t think you’re technically subject to those laws. That said, I think it’s worth considering the purpose of the question and whether that question is a good way to achieve that purpose. If you’re trying to reduce the risk of coronavirus exposure, you might be safer with someone who’s married to a partner who works from home right now than a single person who feels isolated at home alone and therefore is hanging out with groups of friends on the weekend.

Don't be so quick to jump to assumptions. I'm a single person who lives alone, and I'm happy as a clam. I have no desire to hang out with friends.

+1. I am a single nanny who lives alone and I am 100% isolated on weekends and evenings. My employers even do my grocery shopping for me. Yes, it gets lonely but the health of my charge and my pregnant (and wonderful) employer is at stake. It’s a small sacrifice.

This is weird. You two must be introverts and not actively looking for a relationship.

NP. Why do you assume everyone wants/ needs a relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That question would violate anti-discrimination laws, but as an employer of only a single employee, I don’t think you’re technically subject to those laws. That said, I think it’s worth considering the purpose of the question and whether that question is a good way to achieve that purpose. If you’re trying to reduce the risk of coronavirus exposure, you might be safer with someone who’s married to a partner who works from home right now than a single person who feels isolated at home alone and therefore is hanging out with groups of friends on the weekend.

Don't be so quick to jump to assumptions. I'm a single person who lives alone, and I'm happy as a clam. I have no desire to hang out with friends.

+1. I am a single nanny who lives alone and I am 100% isolated on weekends and evenings. My employers even do my grocery shopping for me. Yes, it gets lonely but the health of my charge and my pregnant (and wonderful) employer is at stake. It’s a small sacrifice.

This is weird. You two must be introverts and not actively looking for a relationship.

Nanny here and the problem with asking this is that you are clearly fishing for a specific answer. It’s like asking “would you ever spank a child?” The interviewee can tell what the “right” answer is and an unscrupulous person will twll you what you want to hear. The better approach is always to ask open-ended questions. With spanking that sounds like “How would you describe your discipline style?” For social distancing it sounds like “What are you doing to keep yourself safe from coronavirus?”

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That question would violate anti-discrimination laws, but as an employer of only a single employee, I don’t think you’re technically subject to those laws. That said, I think it’s worth considering the purpose of the question and whether that question is a good way to achieve that purpose. If you’re trying to reduce the risk of coronavirus exposure, you might be safer with someone who’s married to a partner who works from home right now than a single person who feels isolated at home alone and therefore is hanging out with groups of friends on the weekend.

Don't be so quick to jump to assumptions. I'm a single person who lives alone, and I'm happy as a clam. I have no desire to hang out with friends.

+1. I am a single nanny who lives alone and I am 100% isolated on weekends and evenings. My employers even do my grocery shopping for me. Yes, it gets lonely but the health of my charge and my pregnant (and wonderful) employer is at stake. It’s a small sacrifice.

PP didn't say that all single people are going out. She said that you can't assume that the single person would be safer, because both single and married people have varied lifestyles.

Not just being single - being single and living alone. And yes, I think single and living alone is a safer bet right now.

In the DC area, with housing prices being so high, how many single nannies can afford their own home?

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes more sense to ask nanny candidates about what social distancing precautions they are taking. You are assuming a single person will be more isolated, but that may not be the case. Ask the question you really want to an answer to. I also don't think there are any legal issues associated with asking what precautions/exposures any members of their household have.

This. Whether the nanny loves alone or with a boyfriend, girlfriend, her grandmother, or 10 siblings is irrelevant. The real question is how she is social distancing and protecting herself from covid (who she lives with may come up in her explanation).

Anonymous wrote:Then if OP has a family her boss should not rehire her.

Not the same, PP. It’s silly to pretend it is.

Then if OP has a family her boss should not rehire her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That question would violate anti-discrimination laws, but as an employer of only a single employee, I don’t think you’re technically subject to those laws. That said, I think it’s worth considering the purpose of the question and whether that question is a good way to achieve that purpose. If you’re trying to reduce the risk of coronavirus exposure, you might be safer with someone who’s married to a partner who works from home right now than a single person who feels isolated at home alone and therefore is hanging out with groups of friends on the weekend.

Don't be so quick to jump to assumptions. I'm a single person who lives alone, and I'm happy as a clam. I have no desire to hang out with friends.

+1. I am a single nanny who lives alone and I am 100% isolated on weekends and evenings. My employers even do my grocery shopping for me. Yes, it gets lonely but the health of my charge and my pregnant (and wonderful) employer is at stake. It’s a small sacrifice.

PP didn't say that all single people are going out. She said that you can't assume that the single person would be safer, because both single and married people have varied lifestyles.

Not just being single - being single and living alone. And yes, I think single and living alone is a safer bet right now.