Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

Op, your husband doesn’t want a third kid that’s why you’re getting marital advice.

My aunt had a baby at 41 with Down syndrome. Most of the kids I know on the spectrum had older dads.

It’s irrelevant for random people’s experiences.

Can you calm down already?! Your anecdotes mean nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

Op, your husband doesn’t want a third kid that’s why you’re getting marital advice.

My aunt had a baby at 41 with Down syndrome. Most of the kids I know on the spectrum had older dads.

It’s irrelevant for random people’s experiences.

This whole thread is crazy. My kid is on the spectrum and has adhd and I was 32, husband 31. There’s no way to know. I hope you and the baby are healthy and happy.

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

This response indicates you blindsided him. Can't blame him for finding an excuse to be distant then.

Anonymous wrote: Where did the previous adoption comments go?? They disappeared.

My married friends placed their 4th child (unplanned) for adoption. No WTF about it.

My husband and I adopted our 3 kids. it's a beautiful solution for all parties involved.

Handmaid’s Tale-y. Sick. Many women have had their children stolen from them historically in this country. Trust it was not a “beautiful thing.”

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

Op, your husband doesn’t want a third kid that’s why you’re getting marital advice.

My aunt had a baby at 41 with Down syndrome. Most of the kids I know on the spectrum had older dads.

It’s irrelevant for random people’s experiences.

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

OP, I have a girlfriend who had 4 kids all over the age of 40 (twins and two singletons). Tests were fine, all kids are fine. No health issues and all very bright.

OP HERE. I’m not asking for marriage advice. I am asking if anyone over 40 had all the tests come out fine and then had a child with issues OR if you are over 40 had a baby and they are fine.

Where did the previous adoption comments go?? They disappeared.

My married friends placed their 4th child (unplanned) for adoption. No WTF about it.

My husband and I adopted our 3 kids. it's a beautiful solution for all parties involved.

Anonymous wrote:I too would be very wary /scared of having a child with autism. I have 3 kids who do not, but I see plenty of it in our circle and at school. It is not something I would want to deal with.

I had a child at 40. Physically healthy, but lots of learning disabilities. He's labeled as mild intellectually disabled.

It happens and is a risk.

OP I think you’re asking the wrong questions. How about these: did you guys want this baby? What was He like with your other kids? Why does he believe this and have you guys discussed the concerns with your doctor? Sounds like there’s a lot more to this story.

Anonymous wrote:Adoption?

WTF? Divorce husband instead.

Adoption?

I am sorry that he is not being supportive. It sucks to feel like you are alone in the pregnancy.

I think it common for a spouse or support person not te feel totally connected or excited until the baby arrives. Did he feel this way with either of your other children?

Perhaps, he is nervous that he is getting older and may not be able to do all the things he did with the other two.

I think talking it out with a therapist is a terrific idea.

Truth be told, your baby be could be 100% fine and an accident could happen (I do not wish this on anyone). Life changes many things in only a few seconds.

I hope everything will be fine and he becomes more supportive of you.

I too would be very wary /scared of having a child with autism. I have 3 kids who do not, but I see plenty of it in our circle and at school. It is not something I would want to deal with.

I had my one and only at 42 years, 9 months, she's a very loud and "exceeding benchmarks" toddler. There are risks regardless of age. Encourage him to find a virtual therapist to work through his issues.