Anonymous
05/22/2020 14:41
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OK so seriously: isn't this just a guy thing to be always right and then to defend their viewpoint? Isn't this most men to some degree?
OP here. Yes. I get that part. I don't like being talked over like that
I get it. I don't have a solution but I get it.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 20:20
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
I'm sorry OP but your post bored me. You talked far too long about heart guard and don't you know it comes in a shot now, once per year?
Divorce or don't divorce.
Divorce or don't divorce.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 20:06
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:My husband is similar. He is also sweet and helpful and adores our family but he can be a pain and controlling too and sometimes does not want to hear me. I try to let go of stuff i can let go of and pick my battles. It's a flaw. I'm reluctant to call it abusive that seems extreme, we are, in those moments battling for control. Sometimes i have to say, hey dude, we are partners, you need to hear me. Mostly he will. Look at him in the big picture but i will tell you that it does not seem uncommon.
OP here: This is very true. I admit I was more sensitive because my mother was in the hospital (food poisoning it turns out) and the dog was showing signs of an illness flare. I would love an explanation from him though and he has none, which frightens me a bit.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 20:04
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:OK so seriously: isn't this just a guy thing to be always right and then to defend their viewpoint? Isn't this most men to some degree?
OP here. Yes. I get that part. I don't like being talked over like that
Anonymous
05/21/2020 20:03
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about it when things are calm. Say, hey i want us to work together, and get the best outcome, I'm on your side. What do you think is going on with us in those moments and how can we do better? Try to hear him. And then try to find a compromise. It might mean you ketting go of some stuff and him becoming more aware and toning it down.
I did. He apologized (fine) but can't explain why he behaved the way he did. If he can't explain why he went into 'Rainman' mode, I can't fix anything.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 13:30
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Talk to him about it when things are calm. Say, hey i want us to work together, and get the best outcome, I'm on your side. What do you think is going on with us in those moments and how can we do better? Try to hear him. And then try to find a compromise. It might mean you ketting go of some stuff and him becoming more aware and toning it down.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 13:25
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
My husband is similar. He is also sweet and helpful and adores our family but he can be a pain and controlling too and sometimes does not want to hear me. I try to let go of stuff i can let go of and pick my battles. It's a flaw. I'm reluctant to call it abusive that seems extreme, we are, in those moments battling for control. Sometimes i have to say, hey dude, we are partners, you need to hear me. Mostly he will. Look at him in the big picture but i will tell you that it does not seem uncommon.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 11:02
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:OK so seriously: isn't this just a guy thing to be always right and then to defend their viewpoint? Isn't this most men to some degree?
Yes, wonder what we can name this disorder.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 09:59
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Sounds like anxiety to me. Often shows as anger in guys. Still needs management.
Anonymous
05/21/2020 09:54
Subject: Re:Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
OK so seriously: isn't this just a guy thing to be always right and then to defend their viewpoint? Isn't this most men to some degree?
Anonymous
05/21/2020 08:36
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's awful. Yes, it's plenty to leave over. I could not stand that.
My blood pressure is becoming an issue now. Between this and my elderly folks, I'm melting down. The [b]older dog has bladder cancer and the simplest conversations are not simple. It's always about him being right, me wrong, and 'but I need your help'. What he needs is a chauffeur for the dog to the vet, but then doesn't believe the information I get from the vet.
It's at the point now that I find I can't keep my thoughts straight around him because he seems to challenge every word, then say "I don't understand what you are saying - you are not putting a coherent sentence together. You should get that checked out'. It's fear, pure and simple. Yup. It's about time to blow this popstand.
[/b]
That dog is amazing; I'm sorry his health is failing and he is so dismissive of you.
She is! She’s almost 15 and deserves the very best from us. We both love her! It seems he always has to be right about everything. Character flaw, probably from something in his childhood.
Anonymous
05/20/2020 11:17
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's awful. Yes, it's plenty to leave over. I could not stand that.
My blood pressure is becoming an issue now. Between this and my elderly folks, I'm melting down. The [b]older dog has bladder cancer and the simplest conversations are not simple. It's always about him being right, me wrong, and 'but I need your help'. What he needs is a chauffeur for the dog to the vet, but then doesn't believe the information I get from the vet.
It's at the point now that I find I can't keep my thoughts straight around him because he seems to challenge every word, then say "I don't understand what you are saying - you are not putting a coherent sentence together. You should get that checked out'. It's fear, pure and simple. Yup. It's about time to blow this popstand.
[/b]
That dog is amazing; I'm sorry his health is failing and he is so dismissive of you.
Anonymous
05/20/2020 08:59
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:I’m the window treatment poster.
I believe my husband has Asperger’s.
He also has diagnosed ADHD, but doesn’t want to take meds. I believe these tendencies affect his communication style because he can’t put himself in someone else’s shoes and doesn’t understand he overreacts.
The weird thing is that he wasn’t as frequently rigid, say 15 years ago. He was a lot more flexible. This is not a good sign for the future.
OP here. OK, that's funny because my husband is also ADD who won't take meds. And I sometimes wonder about the Asperger thing too.
Anonymous
05/20/2020 08:53
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
I’m the window treatment poster.
I believe my husband has Asperger’s.
He also has diagnosed ADHD, but doesn’t want to take meds. I believe these tendencies affect his communication style because he can’t put himself in someone else’s shoes and doesn’t understand he overreacts.
The weird thing is that he wasn’t as frequently rigid, say 15 years ago. He was a lot more flexible. This is not a good sign for the future.
I believe my husband has Asperger’s.
He also has diagnosed ADHD, but doesn’t want to take meds. I believe these tendencies affect his communication style because he can’t put himself in someone else’s shoes and doesn’t understand he overreacts.
The weird thing is that he wasn’t as frequently rigid, say 15 years ago. He was a lot more flexible. This is not a good sign for the future.
Anonymous
05/20/2020 08:48
Subject: Is there a name for this kind of behavior?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow, the drape measurement thing is NUTS! I sew drapes as a side gig and would have to locate the calculator for conversion.
Locate the calculator? Are you posting from your Commodore 64?
OP here. I sew too. Not helpful. Get off the thread
People, please don't take posts like this personally. We don't know each other- IT'S NOT PERSONAL. These snarky and (many times) clever comments are hilarious. I cracked up when I read that comment and didn't think a thing about the PP who said s/he would have to use conversion. You will enjoy DCUM a lot more if you can look past these comments if you don't like them. I will admit there are incredibly bitchy posts out there that have no value whatsoever. Almost all of the time the people on the thread will descend upon them and make them wish they never clicked on the subject. We take care of each other. For the love.. would some of you please lighten up? Or even better come back with something even better.
Flame away, lol.
OP here. One thing I can't stand is people who troll posts to insult other people. Most likely, it's someone in their teens and 20s, or someone with a personality disorder who gets a kick out of it. It's bad behavior and people should indeed be called out for it.
That comment represents a troll or a personality disorder? GET A LIFE and toughen up, you big baby!
It's an unnecessary comment that adds nothing to the conversation except to gaslight the poster. It's bad behavior.